Week 35: Open Wide

The Race for the Title:  Wide Open.

Neil McConaghy has just blown the title race wide open.  Which sounds a bit dramatic, we know, but there you have it.  What would YOU do if you had to write this tedious drivel every week?

23 points pushes Neil's Diamonds into top spot with Dowds Farm Goblins keeping up with the pace and sneaking into Third after scoring an even more impressive 25 points.

Manager of the Week, however and with a bulgingly fecund score of 36 points, is one Alex Blundell.

There is only one Alex Blundell.

His Moanchester United rocket up, past the 300-point mark, into Twelfth.

Meanwhile, from 1730hrs Monday 10th April 2017, the OFFL Cup Quarter Finals are in play.

So, who's zooming who?

========
OFFL Cup
--------
QUARTER FINALS, to be played over Week 36

             RS-TBOY v Moobchester United
       Rick Beecroft   Jon King

    Starpratt Mustgo v Moreton Rovers
Malcolm Meaden-Pratt   Edgar Rayner
  
   Inter Milandrover v The Flying Geese
             Smasher   Mandy Noble

         Shutdown FC v Dowds Farm Goblins
            Sam Reed   Nick Borrett

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       54.8 23 348
 2 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  9 344
 3 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9 25 343
 4 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.7 13 338
 5 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0 10 336
 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2 24 332
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 21 327
 8 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0 23 322
 9 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        55.0 27 313
10 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7 11 312

Week 33 & 34: OFFL Cup Quarter Finals Draw

Craig McHugh McScrimgeour becomes Manager of the Week this week as his Game of Throw Ins smack up a nice little 20 pointage piece which lifts themselves up five places into Fourteenth.

Meanwhile, at the top of the table The Jostle continues cutting a dash on the dancefloor with the perturbably flappable participants Bielby, Clayton, Smasher and now McConaghy all linking arms and high-kicking for the top spot.  Though, currently looking a little weary, and as if he's about to make an excuse about going to the bar to have a sit down, is Smasher who has become the first Manager this season to use up all his transfers.  

As if that's an achievement.

Shall we have another cup round?


Yes.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
QUARTER FINALS, to be played over Week 36

             RS-TBOY v Moobchester United
       Rick Beecroft   Jon King

    Starpratt Mustgo v Moreton Rovers
Malcolm Meaden-Pratt   Edgar Rayner
  
   Inter Milandrover v The Flying Geese
             Smasher   Mandy Noble

         Shutdown FC v Dowds Farm Goblins
            Sam Reed   Nick Borrett

Get your transfers in NOW [if you have any left]


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  4 335
 2 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0  3 326
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.7 -3 325
 4 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0 14 325
 5 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9  3 318
 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  3 308
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 10 306
 8 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  5 301
 9 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  7 299
10 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0  7 296

Week 32: Three Horses

Tobé Mourinho.  Not a Portuguese Mystic

Say what you like about Dozy Marine-Yoh,

[PAUSE]

[UNIMPRESSED INDISTINCT MURMUR]

[ANOTHER PAUSE]

...but he's an astute fellow.  One that oozes sagacity and beard-stroking prescience.  All the way back in October he enigmatically predicted that the chase for the title this season would be a three-nag race [Guardian: https://goo.gl/vTC6Dy]

How little the journalists covering the story knew that, much like his soothsaying predecessor José Nostradamus, he was covering his sinister powers with riddles and obfuscation.  Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen he was indeed talking about the OFFL.

He stated “My feeling is it will be close and probably one team that you think is playing for the title in March, probably in May doesn’t finish in the top four.”

Livercoolio, Inter Milandrover and Pyeators are all currently up there jostling for supremacy.  Is this an early sprint for the line leaving the Clayton-led pacemakers to drop off the pace through exhaustion or are we awaiting Dowds Farm Goblins and Neil's Diamonds to find their top gear to overtake the fractious three?

And if that isn't an attempt by us, here at Studmarks, to try and whip up a bit of non-existent excitement we don't know what is.

Three points separate First and Second, while only 20 points span the gap between Bielby's and McConaghy's respective challengers.

Meanwhile, this week's Manager of the Week is that other Portuguese Mystic, Tobé Larking*.  While his life has been faithfully documented in BBC Three's "This Country", he pinches the certificate after his Toby's Gang scored 20 points.

Marvellous stuff.

* FYI: Toby is neither Portuguese nor a mystic.  Almost quite the opposite judging by his permanently surprised-looking face.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  9 331
 2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.6 13 328
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0  3 323
 4 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9  7 315
 5 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0  7 311
 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  6 305
 7 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  8 296
 8 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 11 296
 9 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         54.7  4 294
10 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  2 292

Week 31: OFFL Cup Second Round RESULTS

High on the Happy Side: Russ Bielby takes the Number 1 Spot.

Like Wet Wet Wet and Bryan Adams, Pyeators have spent eighteen excruciating weeks at Number 1.

18.

But over the last few weeks sales of their catchy little number, written by Dave Clayton, have fallen off dramatically.  It's now the turn of former Champions [thrice-over] Livercoolio.  3 points was enough to land the top spot thanks, in part, to a minus 3 point score from Pyeators.  Bielby's boys lead the table by 2.

Tight.

Inter Milandrover, 5 points away in Third, have made up for last week's score-debacle by winning the Manager of the Week certificate for their Manager who steered them to a thrilling 8 points.  Too bad for Epic Yellowz however....

========
OFFL Cup
--------
ROUND TWO, RESULTS

     Guess Hughton  2 v  2  Moreton Rovers
         Nick Reed          Edgar Rayner
       [Moreton Rovers go through on PpP]

  The Flying Geese  7 v  3  Minty's Minions
       Mandy Noble          Minty Colquhoun
  
Dowds Farm Goblins  1 v  0  Toby's Gang
      Nick Borrett          Toby Larking

           RS-TBOY  3 v  2  Moanchester United
     Rick Beecroft          Alex Blundell
           
Moobchester United  2 v  0  Crystal Phallus
          Jon King          Guy Salter

       Shutdown FC  0 v -1  The Trumpeteers
          Sam Reed          Donald Trump
       
Obi Wan Kenobi Nil -2 v  3  Starpratt Mustgo
       Chris Walsh          Malcolm Meaden-Pratt

 Inter Milandrover  8 v  5  Epic Yellowz
           Smasher          Kate/Stanley Wilson

The romance of the Cup...  is still alive.

Not dead.  It isn't dead.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  3 322

 2 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0 -3 320

 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.6  8 315

 4 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9  1 308

 5 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0  1 304

 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  0 299

 7 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  5 290

 8 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         54.7  5 290

 9 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  2 288

10 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0  3 285

Week 30: OFFL Cup Round Two - IN PLAY!

Dave Clayton Wakes Up

It's Week 30 and Russell Bielby takes advantage of the mighty Inter Milandrover's massive mega-meltdown to take over the second place spot.

Meanwhile Guy Harewood has his Big Girl's Blouses billowing up into twelfth place after earning a Manager of the Week certificate-winning 18 points.

And in other news... Dave Clayton has submitted a couple of transfer requests to help hold off that heel-nipping chasing pack.

Finally, this week...

========
OFFL Cup
--------
ROUND TWO, IN PLAY

     Guess Hughton  v  Moreton Rovers
         Nick Reed     Edgar Rayner
     
  The Flying Geese  v  Minty's Minions
       Mandy Noble     Minty Colquhoun
  
Dowds Farm Goblins  v  Toby's Gang
      Nick Borrett     Toby Larking

           RS-TBOY  v  Moanchester United
     Rick Beecroft     Alex Blundell
           
Moobchester United  v  Crystal Phallus
          Jon King     Guy Salter

       Shutdown FC  v  The Trumpeteers
          Sam Reed     Donald Trump
       
Obi Wan Kenobi Nil  v  Starpratt Mustgo
       Chris Walsh     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt

 Inter Milandrover  v  Epic Yellowz
           Smasher     Kate/Stanley Wilson

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         54.9  5 323
 2 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8 12 319
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.6 -5 307
 4 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9  7 307
 5 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0  5 303
 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  2 299
 7 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  6 286
 8 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  5 285
 9 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         54.7  6 285
10 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 11 282