Thursday, 23 March 2017

Week 32: Three Horses

Tobé Mourinho.  Not a Portuguese Mystic
Say what you like about Dozy Marine-Yoh,

[PAUSE]

[UNIMPRESSED INDISTINCT MURMUR]

[ANOTHER PAUSE]

...but he's an astute fellow.  One that oozes sagacity and beard-stroking prescience.  All the way back in October he enigmatically predicted that the chase for the title this season would be a three-nag race [Guardian: https://goo.gl/vTC6Dy]

How little the journalists covering the story knew that, much like his soothsaying predecessor José Nostradamus, he was covering his sinister powers with riddles and obfuscation.  Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen he was indeed talking about the OFFL.

He stated “My feeling is it will be close and probably one team that you think is playing for the title in March, probably in May doesn’t finish in the top four.”

Livercoolio, Inter Milandrover and Pyeators are all currently up there jostling for supremacy.  Is this an early sprint for the line leaving the Clayton-led pacemakers to drop off the pace through exhaustion or are we awaiting Dowds Farm Goblins and Neil's Diamonds to find their top gear to overtake the fractious three?

And if that isn't an attempt by us, here at Studmarks, to try and whip up a bit of non-existent excitement we don't know what is.

Three points separate First and Second, while only 20 points span the gap between Bielby's and McConaghy's respective challengers.

Meanwhile, this week's Manager of the Week is that other Portuguese Mystic, Tobé Larking*.  While his life has been faithfully documented in BBC Three's "This Country", he pinches the certificate after his Toby's Gang scored 20 points.

Marvellous stuff.

* FYI: Toby is neither Portuguese nor a mystic.  Almost quite the opposite judging by his permanently surprised-looking face.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  9 331
 2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.6 13 328
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0  3 323
 4 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.9  7 315
 5 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0  7 311
 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  6 305
 7 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  8 296
 8 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 11 296
 9 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         54.7  4 294
10 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  2 292
11 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 11 289
12 Big Girl's Blouses   Guy Harewood         54.6 14 281
13 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        55.0 10 271
14 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         54.6 17 265
15 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        54.7  9 264
16 Shutdown FC          Sam Reed             54.0  5 260
17 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      53.9  1 259
18 Toby's Gang          Toby Larking         54.8 20 256
19 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         54.9  5 256
20 Irishpool            Mike Smears          54.2  8 254
21 Bourneslippy         Karyn Meaden-Pratt   54.5  5 248
22 Guess Hughton        Nick Reed            54.3  4 245
23 The Flying Geese     Mandy Noble          54.8  3 243
24 It's A Snickers      Ashley Keeler        54.0  2 201
25 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward           54.6 14 196
26 Sheep City           Martyn Field         53.9  2 181
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          53.7  8 169
28 Moreton Rovers       Edgar Rayner         55.0  3 125
29 Ali McMoist          Ali Larking          46.8  2  84
30 The Trumpeteers      Donald Trump         42.9  2   8


                        Week's Average Points        7.2
                        Total Average Points        248.2
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