Week 37: OFFL Cup Semi-Final Results

Nigel Pearson, obviously.

While Radnorshire Tigers collect another Manager of the Week certificate for scoring 17 points and moving up no places [shame], the top five teams in the league table have compressed.

More importantly, with only a handful of Premiership fixtures remaining in the season, Malcolmyouplaysobadly have cut down Livercoolio's lead to 11 points.  And 11 points further behind Mr Mally's second placers is Smearsy's Irishpool.

Smearsy.  Smear-Z.

But wait, before we get over-pally with the aged... Alun's 17 points didn't merely win him the Manager of the Week certificate, oh no.  It also ensured safe passage into the FINAL of the OFFL Cup 2015...

OFFL Cup

Semi-Finals Results, Wk37

Moobchester United       4 v 12 Malcolmyouplaysobadly
Jon King                                Malcolm Pratt
                            
Not In Your Mum's Forest 9 v 17    Radnorshire Tigers
Sarah Bingham                            Alun Edwards

Congratulations Malcolmyouplaysobadly and Radnorshire Tigers - you're through to the next round.  THE F-F-F-Final.  Which means that one of you will be taking home the Football Fans' Quizbook.

And when we say "taking home" we mean 'however we manage to get hold of your address we'll be sending the damn thing to you by post.'

You're welcome.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      54.9  9 363

 2 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.4 12 352

 3 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.8 14 341

 4 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3 16 338

 5 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8 11 329

 6 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          53.8  8 325

 7 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.8 12 312

 8 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.8  9 312

 9 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       52.7  8 306

10 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.1 12 294

Week 36: Bent Out (of shape)

Bent, out of shape

With a stupendous week's score of 22 points, she's living up to her team name in being A Bit Temperamintal.

Yes, Minty Colquhoun [if you need help with pronouncing her name try 'Minn-tee'.  Perfect.] has nabbed herself a second Manager of the Week certificate.

The Posh Bint called Mint has not had the most successful of seasons but things seemed to have turned a corner when she finally realised that her much-cherished, oft-unfit, Darren Bent wasn't going to be the 30-goal-a-season man she always believed him to be.

And also because he left the premiership AGES ago.

Meanwhile, Livercoolio stretch their lead over Malcolmyouplaysobadly to 14 points, putting the season-long place-swap dance Mr Bielby has been enjoying with Mr Pratt on hold for another week.

Right.  It's OFFL Cup Semifinal week and the fixtures are...

OFFL Cup

Semi-Finals, in play

Moobchester United        v  Malcolmyouplaysobadly
Jon King                             Malcolm Pratt

Not In Your Mum's Forest  v     Radnorshire Tigers
Sarah Bingham                         Alun Edwards

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      54.9 15 354

 2 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.4 13 340

 3 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.8 15 327

 4 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3 15 322

 5 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8  8 318

 6 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          53.8 13 317

 7 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.8  4 303

 8 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.8  9 300

 9 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6  4 298

10 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.1 12 282

Week 35: It was th-th-thirty years ago today

Mike Smears standing in front of his brand new 1985 Howitzer tank estate

The old man of the league, Smearsy, notches up another Manager of the Week certificate win by allowing his rabble of youfs, aka Irishpool, to score a week's total of nineteen.  N-n-n-n-n-n-n-nineteen. Nineteen.  N-n-n-n-nineteen.

Paul Hardcastle there.

And while we grapple with a 30 year old Pop Culture reference [the like of which Mike, himself, would still have been too old at the time to currently understand] we quickly move on...

Should you still be in the OFFL Cup, don't forget to get your transfers in for the Semi-Finals to be played in Week 37 - good quizzing times ahead for the winner of the Cup, I must add - the winner will be receiving the Football Fans Quizbook as the most wondrous 1st Prize.

D-d-d-d-d d-d-d-destruction.

MANAGER OF THE MONTH FOR MARCH

Congratulations, Sarah Bingham - 43 points in one month.
                                                Month's
   Manager            Team                       Score
-------------------------------------------------------
 1 Sarah Bingham      Not In Your Mum's Forest    43
 2 Dave Clayton       Pyeators                    39
 3 Mike Smears        Irishpool                   38
 3 Russ Bielby        Livercoolio                 38
 5 Smasher            Inter Milandrover           34
 5 Malcolm Pratt      Malcolmyouplaysobadly       34
 5 Neil McConaghy     Neil's Diamonds             34
 8 Stanley Wilson     Botley Yellow               32
 8 Rachel Jones       Which Team                  32
10 Nick Reed          Couldn't be Hyppia          31
10 Gavin Ward         Blet Satters Mad Hatters    31
10 Ashley Keeler      It's A Snickers             31
13 Jon King           Moobchester United          29
14 Edgar Rayner       Didcot Rovers               28
15 Mandy Noble        The Flying Geese            27
15 Chris Walsh        Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil        27
17 Craig McHugh       Real Mcdrid                 25
18 Rick Beecroft      RS-TBOY                     23
18 Sarah Bielby       Johnny's Heroes             23
18 Alex Blundell      Moanchester Disunited       23
21 Alun Edwards       Radnorshire Tigers          21
22 Minty Colquhoun    A Bit Temperamintal         17
23 Adrian Bradley     Awesome Athletic            12
24 Pete Braithwaite   Pedro's Plodders             2

Oh Pedro.



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      54.9 18 339
 2 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.4  5 327
 3 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.8 19 312
 4 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8 14 310
 5 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3  8 307
 6 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          53.8  9 304
 7 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7  9 299
 8 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6 13 294
 9 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.8  9 291
10 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.1  3 270

Week 33 & 34: Strained relations

Russ has 'something caught in his eye'

Ignoring last week as a no-score washout we quickly bring this week into focus.  And what do we see emerge from the blurry mist of our slowly adjusting eyes?  Yes, it's that beaming little face of the lovely Mrs Bielby clutching yet another Manager of the Week Certificate.  In HD.

Look, she's waving it in everyone's faces. It's her Sixth, she wants you to know.  She would also be rather pleased if you acknowledged that her Johnny's Heroes notched up an impressive 17 points this week.

As we let the scene fade back out of focus we think we can pick out a rapid v-shaped flash of a hand-movement at the lens.  Not classy.

In a different corner of the same room we see a less than chipper husband.  Mr Bielby has his back to us and is hoping we can't see him rescue 'something from his eye'.  It's tough for Russ.  Not only does he have an out-of-control Manager of the Week Certificate-winning maniac of a Mrs but he's also constantly being beaten back from the top of the league table into second place by Malcolm Pratt's Malcolmyouplaysobadly.  It's as if he's being toyed with by a Pratt.

So, it's fair to say that breakfast time in the bickering Bielby bungalow is not a bundle of fundle right now.  Lucky, then, that both Bielbys have already been kicked out of the OFFL Cup.  No repressed envy to fuel the resentment there...

OFFL Cup

Semi-Finals, to be played over Week 37

Moobchester United        v  Malcolmyouplaysobadly
Jon King                             Malcolm Pratt

Not In Your Mum's Forest  v     Radnorshire Tigers
Sarah Bingham                         Alun Edwards


Can Malcolmyouplaysobadly really do the Double?

Naaah.

Pobblynot.