Week 28: Welcome Surprise!

Manager of the Week is, appropriately enough, Smasher.  Not the only welcome surprise for Inter Milandrover's manager this week.  The haul of 19 points hoists Inter up three places into fifth in the league - a league that is still headed by Malcolm's Malcolmyouplaysobadly.

That is all for this week.

No reason.

Bit tied up. And that.

Innnit.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.4  4 270
 2 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      55.0  5 268
 3 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3 17 260
 4 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8  7 259
 5 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          53.8 19 246
 6 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6 -2 237
 7 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.7  8 236
 8 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.6  3 232
 9 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7  9 232
10 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.1 13 219
11 Which Team                Rachel Jones     55.0  7 218
12 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.7  3 215
13 Pyeators                  Dave Clayton     54.3  1 203
14 Moobchester United        Jon King         52.1  6 200
15 Couldn't be Hyppia        Nick Reed        54.6  6 188
16 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil      Chris Walsh      54.6  5 172
17 Moanchester Disunited     Alex Blundell    52.1  6 171
18 A Bit Temperamintal       Minty Colquhoun  55.0  9 169
19 Didcot Rovers             Edgar Rayner     54.8  8 164
20 It's A Snickers           Ashley Keeler    54.6  3 162
21 Neil's Diamonds           Neil McConaghy   54.8  4 145
22 Real Mcdrid               Craig McHugh     54.8  1 143
23 Awesome Athletic          Adrian Bradley   50.2  3 100
24 Pedro's Plodders          Pete Braithwaite 46.7  5  91


                             Week's Average Points      6
                             Total Average Points     200
---

Week 27: It's Got To Be Moob

Repeating last week's Manager of the Week certificate win is Moobchester United's Jon King.  A much moobier 19 points this time round elevating his chesty chumps up no places.  Shame.  Though he is only 18 points off a top ten placing now.  Aspirations, eh?

Right we're off to help the Chairman apply the finishing touches to his second Mini-Me attempt [the first seems to have developed rather a lot of faults].

In the meantime, feast your eyes upon the next round of the...

OFFL Cup

ROUND THREE

Irishpool                    v   Malcolmyouplaysobadly

Mike Smears                              Malcolm Pratt

Johnny's Heroes              v      Moobchester United

Sarah Bielby                                  Jon King

Blet Satters Mad Hatters     v      Radnorshire Tigers

Gavin Ward                                Alun Edwards

Not In Your Mum's Forest     v        The Flying Geese

Sarah Bingham                              Mandy Noble

Oooh [squeeze knees] exciting!

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.6  9 266

 2 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      55.0 13 263

 3 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8 11 252

 4 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3 14 243

 5 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6  9 239

 6 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.1  2 229

 7 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.7  6 228

 8 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          54.3 11 227

 9 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7  7 223

10 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.7 -2 212

Week 26: OFFL Cup Second Round Results

Ken Wood: mostly modest about his Moobs

Manager of the Week this week is the delightfully affable Ken Wood - a current employee of the kitchen appliance giant Jonking.  His Moobchester United scored a necessary 9 points which saw his team of wobble-chested under-achievers safely through to the next round of the ...

OFFL Cup

Second Round Results

Radnorshire Tigers       3  v  0  Moanchester Disunited
Alun Edwards                      Alex Blundell

Couldn't be Hyppia       2  v  6  Johnny's Heroes
Nick Reed                         Sarah Bielby

Blet Satters Mad Hatters 5  v  2  Pyeators
Gavin Ward                        Dave Clayton

Inter Milandrover        5  v  6  The Flying Geese
Smasher                           Mandy Noble

Moobchester United       9  v  5  Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil
Jon King                          Chris Walsh

Irishpool                6  v  6  Livercoolio
Mike Smears                       Russ Bielby

A Bit Temperamintal     -1  v  7  Malcolmyouplaysobadly
Minty Colquhoun                   Malcolm Pratt

Not In Your Mum's Forest 5  v  0  Botley Yellow
Sarah Bingham                     Stanley Wilson

Second placed Livercoolio crash out of the Cup thanks to an inferior Points per Pound ratio - fellow Liverpool fan and cantankerous OAP Everyman, Mike Smears, kicks the one-time title favourite Bielby in the shins before legging it away from the tie loudly singing You'll Never Walk Alone.

Meanwhile, Malcolmyouplaysobadly's Malcolm Pratt cruises past the marvellously marvellous marvel of womanhood Minty Colquhoun as her A Bit Temperamintal scores -1.

Congratulations then to both Sarahs, to Alun, to Gavin, to Mandy, to Jon, to Mike and to Malcolm.

Commiserations to the rest of you failures.

The prize for this year's OFFL Cup winner is Dave Blake's Football Fans Quiz Book.  It's in hardback.  And temporarily out of stock on Amazon.  So there.

Week 25: Never Mind the Pistols

A Slippery Thrashing Fish 

As the dust of last week's Manager of the Week certificate winner bonanza finally settles the dirt cloud clears to show one of those managers still standing, spinning his Smith & Wesson on his hooked forefinger before fumbling it, like a slippery fish thrashing around for its life, back into its holster, dropping it twice.

For Smasher, last week's exploits was not just a feeble flash in the pants, oh no.  He or she is again Manager of the Week after steering Inter Milandrover to an impressive 15 points.  A climb of two places in the league is the real reward.

Meanwhile, Jon King tries to spice up his zero points this week by submitting three, long overdue, transfers helping distract the rest of us away from Gavin Ward's 'interesting' score.

But never mind all that tosh.  It's OFFL Cup time!

[PLAYS INTRO TO MC HAMMER'S "HAMMERTIME" TO FADE]

Playing this week...

OFFL Cup

Second Round

Radnorshire Tigers        v  Moanchester Disunited
Alun Edwards                 Alex Blundell

Couldn't be Hyppia        v  Johnny's Heroes
Nick Reed                    Sarah Bielby

Blet Satters Mad Hatters  v  Pyeators
Gavin Ward                   Dave Clayton

Inter Milandrover         v  The Flying Geese
Smasher                      Mandy Noble

Moobchester United        v  Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil
Jon King                     Chris Walsh

Irishpool                 v  Livercoolio
Mike Smears                  Russ Bielby

A Bit Temperamintal       v  Malcolmyouplaysobadly
Minty Colquhoun              Malcolm Pratt

Not In Your Mum's Forest  v  Botley Yellow
Sarah Bingham                Stanley Wilson

Good luck all.  And, yes, it looks like we do have a Cup prize this year.  A football trivia book, waiting to be sent out to one of you lucky Cup survivors.  More details to follow.

Probably.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.6  9 250

 2 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      55.0  3 244

 3 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8  4 235

 4 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.1  5 227

 5 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6 -1 225

 6 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    52.2  5 223

 7 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.7  5 216

 8 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.7  5 211

 9 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          54.0 15 211

10 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7 10 211