Week 11: A Freak Week for 'knapp Man and Robinho

A freak week from Robinho sees the Brazilian striker net 14 points all on his own creating a wooden cart type vehicle seemingly designed to transport a group of musicians all playing the "Robinho Symphony".

All this seems to have triggered the 'herding instinct' in OFFL Managers. Indeed two managers have already been unable to resist this informational social influence and executed transfers aimed at bringing the player into their teams [see email] and the OFFL HQ are preparing themselves for further knee-jerk transfer requests.

Particularly from Charlie's Angels.

Manager of the Week is Smasher who's 22 point haul can be solely attributed to a certain Brazilian striker enjoying a freak week. Can’t remember his name.

Another instant trend to watch out for is the mass transferring out of Portsmouth players based on the belief that Harry Redknapp's weekend departure will instantly cause Pompey's Premier League demise.

Now who would be paranoid enough to react to both those big news stories?

Week 09 & 10: Chairman's Shares Portfolio Plummets

It's not easy for Our Most Gracious Chairman. As the global banking crisis deepens, His bulging share portfolio is disintegrating in front of his very [bulging] eyes. Particularly, his investments in the Japanese financial markets. Indeed, those Tokyo-based banks are in all sorts of trouble.

The Origami Bank, for example, has folded but the Bank of the Ninja is still in the black. Sumo Financial has gone belly up and, according to reports, the Governor of the Bank of Karate is for the chop. And while analysts are reporting that something fishy is going on at the Sushi Bank, staff are worried that they may get a raw deal.

And, while we, here at Studmarks, make the most of these appalling gags that just arrived in a joke spam-junk [read that carefully] email to cover up our lack of inspiration this week..., [clears throat] Bonsai Bank are having to cut some of its branches while the Bank of the Samurai are just about surviving following sharp cuts. Shares in the Kamikaze Bank are still nose-diving.

I thank you.

Manager of the Week is Andy '3st 10oz' Straw with a much heavier 17 points to add to his total. This pushes his Nutts Florist up. Into third.

And Ashley Keeler finally produces the team he picked back in August. According to the highly disorganised manager it had apparently got jammed in a folder somewhere between hotmail and googlemail.

Hmmm.

We also welcome Messrs Walsh and Dube to the League. As you can see from their pictures here, they're both a couple of ming mongs. And one of them is illiterate to bot.

[Do you see what we did there?]

And as it was our current Champion, Neil McConaghy's, birthday this week here's a freebie for all of us to listen to in celebration for him...

[AND it's for cheridee great mate...]

http://www.archive.org/download/200810LFL-Philippines1/200810LFL-Philippines1.mp3

and

http://www.archive.org/download/LittleSmasher20081005/200810LFL-Philippines2.mp3

Week 08: Stretching Tierney

Manager of the Week is Alun Edwards whose Radnorshire Tigers pummelled home a massive 23 points.

Meanwhile, Abeerden are stretching their lead, and their luck with yet more transfers. Possibly forgetting that we're still only one drinkstop along this long arduous marathon route.

Interestingly, Our Most Gracious Chairman prepares for his scouting trip to Africa where he shall be screwing in light bulbs later this month. While he isn't sure he won't be returning home to a country poorer than the one he returns from, he at least can be certain that the sound of rustling papers and the scratching of pencils will greet him as more potential managers threaten to get their teams in before the start of the OFFL Cup.

Ah yes. The OFFL Cup.

There's a prize you know.

Which can be drooled over here...