Week 32: Helmsmanship

Neil McConaghy

As host to the parasite that is the OFFL, it's been a hard old season for the English Premiership.  Including, also, for the slap-headed pundits trying to push an exciting narrative on what has been a near-total dominance by just one team: trying to squeeze some excitement into a campaign that was won bloomin' ages ago.  Of course, they attempt to distract from it by over-praising the dominant team as the most brilliantest and bestest bunch of ball kickers ever, honest, like, in the world.  But it doesn't change what has been an inevitability.

Neil McConaghy's helmsmanship of his own dominant team has been steadily pushing the rest of the OFFL further and further behind him too.  Unlike Pep Guardiola, however, Mr McConaghy hasn't dabbled in the transfer market at all.  AT ALL.  Neil's Diamonds has a full transfer quota of 12 remaining and if they continue their ascent to a second league title in a row, their Manager's legend will sit quite comfortably alongside that of Guardiola's.

In other words, we call on the rest of you chasing managers to get a move on and challenge the old git or he'll never stop banging on about it.

At least he's not in the...

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OFFL Cup
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Quarter Finals, RESULTS
           
            Bayern Bru 32 v  48 Livercoolio
          Guy Harewood          Russ Bielby
            
     Inter Milandrover 49 v  26 RS-TBOY
               Smasher          Rick Beecroft
     
              Pyeators 29 v  34 Brighton Beautiful
          Dave Clayton          Karyn Meaden-Pratt
              
    Moobchester United 32 v  30 Irishpool
              Jon King          Mike Smears


Russell Bielby's Livercoolio, Smasher's Inter Milandrover, Karyn Meaden-Pratt's Brighton Beautiful and Jon King's Moobchester United are left fighting for a place in the OFFL Cup Final. Can Smasher retain the Cup for the third year running?  Can Livercoolio better his Cup Final defeat of 2008?  Let's hope not in both cases: it's Moobchester United's turn for some silverware glory, isn't it?

Interesting fact: 50% of the current top ten teams have managers with a four letter forename.

*Swoon*

Manager of the Week is Smasher.  Inter Milandrover scored 49 points.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 37 1391
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 32 1337
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 36 1320
 4 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 38 1293
 5 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 48 1285
 6 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 49 1266
 7 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 29 1260
 8 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 26 1255
 9 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 31 1225
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 34 1209

Week 09: Muffled Struggling

Spot The Karyn

Can anybody hear that?  

A stunningly morbid muffled struggling.

As if someone is flailing to get out from under something big and heavy.

It could be that lovely Karyn Meaden-Pratt finally climbing atop her hellish husband, Mally.  Mrs is Fourth, Mr is Filth. Fifth. He's Fifth.

In squelching her squashed body out from under the massive Malster the three-worded Karyn Meaden-Pratt wins a joint-Manager of the Week certificate.  Joining her in this joint honour is the more economically-worded Smasher. Both Brighton Beautiful and Inter Milandrover respectively and jointly scored 51 points.

And now we wait for the silence of yet another International Break to break.

Is any of this really worth it?

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 38  348
 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 42  346
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.9 45  337
 4 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.9 51  313
 5 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 25  309
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 42  304
 7 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 44  303
 8 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 39  300
 9 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.2 51  299
10 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         47.7 44  295