Wednesday, 9 May 2018

Week 35: Standing on the Verge

Standing on the verge
We stand on the verge of crowning Mr Neil McConaghy with the diadem of double dominance as his Diamonds do it again - that is, win the OFFL Championship for the second year running. But let us pretend for one more week that it could be an open race.  It isn't an open race but we're already losing our viewers to the Eurovision Song Contest and we can't stand the thought of writing this bloody nonsense for nothing.

Every week.  I mean.  Come on.  Bloody nonsense.  For you.

You don't care.

Though, you might [you won't] when you see the OFFL Cup Final breakdown between Livercoolio and Inter Milandrover.


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OFFL Cup Final Breakdown
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Livercoolio      ClubTotal | Inter Milandrover    ClubTotal
-------------------------- | ------------------------------
 134 GK de Gea, D MUN  120 | 119 GK  Pickford, J  EVE   48
 197 DF AzpilicuetCHE   57 | 234 DF  Maguire, H   LEI   31
 193 DF Tarkowski,BUR   31 | 306 DF  Davies, B    TOT  116
 510 MF Alli, D   TOT  133 | 445 MF  de Bruyne, K MCY   90
 459 MF Lingard, JMUN   45 | 454 MF  Sterling, R  MCY   76
 454 MF Sterling, MCY   82 | 441 MF  Mane, S      LIV  105
 627 ST Kane, H   TOT   78 | 595 ST  Vardy, J     LEI   51
 596 ST Firmino, RLIV  163 | 707 ST  Aubameyang, PARS   15

Hence, Livercoolio are the Firm[ino] favourites to defeat this season's disappointing Inter Milandrover.

Meanwhile, as most of you sidestep any passing interest in The OFFL Cup you will of course be happy to take note that the Manager of the Week this week is Brighton Beautiful's Karyn Meaden-Pratt. The bright and beautiful Mrs Meaden-Pratt popped in an impressively sized 47 points.

Pop.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 17 1490
 2 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 17 1433
 3 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 27 1429
 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 24 1418
 5 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 19 1379
 6 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 21 1366
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 18 1362
 8 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 31 1342
 9 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 18 1332
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.3 47 1331
11 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         47.9 35 1298
12 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         48.1 26 1275
13 Moobchester United   Jon King             48.5 16 1250
14 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      49.1 31 1218
15 Irishpool            Mike Smears          49.4 26 1206
16 What's Scotland For? Matilda Larking      49.2 22 1188
17 Ali McMoist          Alison Faulkner      49.3 25 1186
18 Suits You Sur-man    Sarah Bingham        49.3 29 1167
19 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          44.5 28 1125
20 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 28 1099
21 RockRollford United  Edgar Rayner         48.0 18 1077
22 Sheep City           Martyn Field         49.9 14  997
23 Wardy's Wasters      Gavin Ward           49.4 28  969
24 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           48.5 18  931


                        Week's Average Points        24.3
                        Total Average Points       1244.5
---

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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Inter Milandrover
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   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: I may have just lost the OFFL Cup

707 Aubang'emin ARS 
for
625 Ho Chi Min City TOT


----------------------
Chairman responds:
You never know.  Might be worth a punt.

Though I'd say my goodbyes to that Cup if I were you.


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