Week 34: OFFL Cup Semi-Final Results

Manager of the Week this week is Minty Colquhoun with a big fat score of 44. This moves her Minty's Minions up two places into Fourteenth.

Pundits are already slapping their pates over whether Guy Salter's Crystal Phallus and Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wasters will wobble themselves within the 1000 point watermark as yet another season can be written off as 'calamitous' by both of these managing failures.

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OFFL Cup
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Semi-Finals, Results

         Livercoolio 39 v  26 Brighton Beautiful
      Russell Bielby          Karyn Meaden-Pratt
         
   Inter Milandrover 28 v  21 Moobchester United
             Smasher          Jon King


The Final will therefore be between Livercoolio and Inter Milandrover.  Can the current holders Inter Milandrover retain the Cup for the THIRD YEAR RUNNING?

It's unlikely, let's face it.  Livercoolio are looking quite, quite dangerous.

The final will be played in Week 36, the final week of the season.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 18 1473
 2 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 32 1416
 3 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 10 1402
 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 39 1394
 5 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 23 1360
 6 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 28 1345
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 22 1344
 8 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 19 1314
 9 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 17 1311
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.3 26 1284

Week 33: OFFL Cup Semi Finals Draw

OFFL Cup: Semi-Finals Week

Joint Managers of the Week this week are Russell Bielby and Craig McHugh who both steered their Livercoolio and Game Of Throw Ins respectively to a big fat 70 point total each.  Both climb a place in the league table putting Livercoolio into Fourth and Game Of Throw Ins into Eighth.

This must feel like great preparation for first-time Manager of the Week Bielby as he takes his team into the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup this week.

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OFFL Cup
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Semi Finals,Wk 34
           
      Livercoolio v Brighton Beautiful
   Russell Bielby   Karen Meaden-Pratt
   
Inter Milandrover v Moobchester United
          Smasher   Jon King

Yes.  We start playing these fixtures tonight.  So get your transfers in before 1730hrs.

We are officially running out of weeks.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 64 1455
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 55 1392
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 64 1384
 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 70 1355
 5 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 44 1337
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 67 1322
 7 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 51 1317
 8 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 70 1295
 9 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 34 1294
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 49 1258

Week 32: Helmsmanship

Neil McConaghy

As host to the parasite that is the OFFL, it's been a hard old season for the English Premiership.  Including, also, for the slap-headed pundits trying to push an exciting narrative on what has been a near-total dominance by just one team: trying to squeeze some excitement into a campaign that was won bloomin' ages ago.  Of course, they attempt to distract from it by over-praising the dominant team as the most brilliantest and bestest bunch of ball kickers ever, honest, like, in the world.  But it doesn't change what has been an inevitability.

Neil McConaghy's helmsmanship of his own dominant team has been steadily pushing the rest of the OFFL further and further behind him too.  Unlike Pep Guardiola, however, Mr McConaghy hasn't dabbled in the transfer market at all.  AT ALL.  Neil's Diamonds has a full transfer quota of 12 remaining and if they continue their ascent to a second league title in a row, their Manager's legend will sit quite comfortably alongside that of Guardiola's.

In other words, we call on the rest of you chasing managers to get a move on and challenge the old git or he'll never stop banging on about it.

At least he's not in the...

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OFFL Cup
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Quarter Finals, RESULTS
           
            Bayern Bru 32 v  48 Livercoolio
          Guy Harewood          Russ Bielby
            
     Inter Milandrover 49 v  26 RS-TBOY
               Smasher          Rick Beecroft
     
              Pyeators 29 v  34 Brighton Beautiful
          Dave Clayton          Karyn Meaden-Pratt
              
    Moobchester United 32 v  30 Irishpool
              Jon King          Mike Smears


Russell Bielby's Livercoolio, Smasher's Inter Milandrover, Karyn Meaden-Pratt's Brighton Beautiful and Jon King's Moobchester United are left fighting for a place in the OFFL Cup Final. Can Smasher retain the Cup for the third year running?  Can Livercoolio better his Cup Final defeat of 2008?  Let's hope not in both cases: it's Moobchester United's turn for some silverware glory, isn't it?

Interesting fact: 50% of the current top ten teams have managers with a four letter forename.

*Swoon*

Manager of the Week is Smasher.  Inter Milandrover scored 49 points.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 37 1391
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 32 1337
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 36 1320
 4 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 38 1293
 5 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 48 1285
 6 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 49 1266
 7 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 29 1260
 8 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 26 1255
 9 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 31 1225
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 34 1209

Week 31: Thigh-slappingly interesting

Thigh slap, lightning, etc.

Manager of the Week is the monstrously marvellous and mighty Minty 'It's Pronounced Ka-hooon' Colquhoun.  Her Minions knocked in an equally monstrous and marvellous 41 points.

This is a thigh-slappingly interesting fact...all our managers with forenames beginning with an 'M' lie in the bottom half of the table.  

Unlucky for soMe.

Neil McConaghy's unchanged Diamonds remain top of the table while Third-placed Alex Blundell's Moanchester United gain ground - though they are still armstretchingly out of reach by 70 points.

We're getting closer to the end of the season, aren't we?

We ARE playing for the Semis of the OFFL Cup...

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OFFL Cup
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Quarter-Finals
           
        Bayern Bru    v    Livercoolio
      Guy Harewood         Russ Bielby
            
 Inter Milandrover    v    RS-TBOY
           Smasher         Rick Beecroft
     
          Pyeators    v    Brighton Beautiful
      Dave Clayton         Karyn Meaden-Pratt
              
Moobchester United    v    Irishpool
          Jon King         Mike Smears


---
T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 22 1354
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 15 1305
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 35 1284
 4 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 28 1255
 5 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 32 1237
 6 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 26 1231
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 24 1229
 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 32 1217
 9 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 25 1194
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 13 1175

Week 29 & 30: Cupped Moobs

Jon King's Cupped Moobs

Come on, chop chop, we have another week to catch up blah-di-blah....

Manager of the Week is Jon King for his Moobchester United scoring all those 57 points.  Cuppingly good, what?

And talking of cupping Moobs...

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OFFL Cup
--------
ROUND THREE, Wk 32
           
        Bayern Bru    v    Livercoolio
      Guy Harewood         Russ Bielby
            
 Inter Milandrover    v    RS-TBOY
           Smasher         Rick Beecroft
     
          Pyeators    v    Brighton Beautiful
      Dave Clayton         Karyn Meaden-Pratt
              
Moobchester United    v    Irishpool
          Jon King         Mike Smears



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 49 1332
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 39 1290
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 33 1249
 4 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 30 1227
 5 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 46 1205
 6 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 51 1205
 7 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 27 1205
 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              48.3 49 1185
 9 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 47 1169
10 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 37 1162