Week 07

Manager of the Week is Minty 'Ka-Hoon' Colquhoun. Indeed her team notched up a massive 22 points thanks, in main, to her robust defence and no thanks whatsoever to her favourite player for the last three years, Darren Bent, whom she won't replace however many times he appears on the bench. Unpmintster climbs eight places.

A remarkable David Manttan plummets a remarkable ten places to third from a remarkable bottom after losing, remarkably, four points from Two-Oh-Ten's total. And Gavin Ward finally scores more than a point in a week. But still lies last.

In the meantime, with the marathon well under way, the Umpa Lumpa's are getting into the swing of things. Last season's mistakes, punished by regular beatings, have so far not been repeated. Sadly.

Week 06

Manager of the Week is Lionel Larking who scores 14 points for his Pompey Pussies. Which is nice. Meanwhile Gavin Ward's Metatarsenal's overwhelming consistency means that for the third week running they pick up one point.

Watch out for Ant & Bex macheteing their way up the table without a care in the world. It's obviously been rocking the table enough to wobble Steve Tierney's Abeerden off the top. Our new leaders, Charlie's Angels, are led themselves by the transfer crazy Rob Ivison.

Can he keep it up?

According to his wife, Philippa, not for the duration.

Apparently.

So the rumour goes.

Hilary Hilarious Straw. Minus 4. Ahem.

Teams are still being submitted.

Week 04 & 05

While 'England Disunited' have miraculously morphed into World Beaters we, here in the OFFL, have entered the part of the season that always seems to panic managers into executing knee-jerk transfers, transfers which throw an intriguing light on the messy machinations of those managers' minds.

Take Charlie's Angels' very own Rob Ivison for example. Ironic to think that his family name is an anagram of Vision when he, himself, clearly shows none whatsoever. Half his transfer quota is spent already.

Though having said that, his short-term swapping madness has prematurely thrust his Charlie's into second place in the league. Slipstreaming the Tierney.

Neil Jukes's 'Manager of the Week Certificate' winning score of 19 points has propelled his Decimated Left Peg into joint third. Meanwhile, Gavin Ward's dismal Metatarsenal are already vying for the wooden spoon.

This of course would allow him to concentrate on the Cup in a few weeks time.

Meanwhile, Ant & Bex and Upmintster United both climb six places in the table while others are more considerate in their paced ascent to the top.

Current Champions, Neil McConaghy's BM Mingmongs, drop four places.

Snigger ye not.

Well, not just yet.

Team submissions keep on coming.

Week 3: My Back Hurts

Manager of the Week this week is Andy Straw who steered his Nuttingham Florist to a large 18 points. Andy is on holiday in Australia at the moment but he regularly interrupts his trip to check on how his dearly beloved Nuttingham Florist is doing in the OFFL.

Shame to ruin such a holiday.

Meanwhile, more teams are joining in on the fun/desperation, so if you're reading this and you haven't got a team in yet then don't worry, there's still time. Either that or 'Don't worry, I'll delete you off this mailing list in due course'.

Bunch of forgiving little smashers.

By the way, did anyone see Peter Crouch poke fun at Deco when Portsmouth and Chelsea played the other day? I know what you're thinking... How could anyone stoop so low......

Oh yes, the quality of Studmarks has been unnervingly unswerving over the last 13 years.

Some of you still haven't realised that a joke has just sprinted by.