Monday 27 January 2014

Week 24: Sponsored by Loopy

Hercule Poirot Leapfrogs Kate Wilson
A mainly FA Cup week for the Premiership Clubs has meant that Mainly Bell Jam has won their manager the Manager of the Week certificate with a weak week's score of 5 points.  It means Hercule Poirot leapfrogs Kate Wilson - a sight to behold, we're sure.

And that's Kate "Proud Owner of Loopy's Booster8" Wilson to you and me.

Also, Nick "Not bought an album yet" Reed's Gone Poyet Gone has squeezed past Neil "Booster8-less" McConaghy's Diamonds to claim primary position in the attempt to get into the top ten.

He's eleventh, yes.

In the meantime... here are our own Cup Fixtures for the next round of the OFFL Cup...

[This round was drawn to the sound of Loopy's new album, 'Booster8' - available from all good online music stores http://loopytheband.bandcamp.com]

OFFL Cup, sponsored by Loopy

ROUND TWO, Knockout Round, to be played over Wk 26

Eight teams will go through to the next round

            Livercoolio v   Mintal Institute   v Eggafield Rovers
      It Goes To Eleven v   Tierney's Twonks   v Pyeators II
      Woolyback Returns v   Neil's Diamonds    v Radnorshire Tigers
      Inter Milandrover v Moanchester Ununited v Gone Poyet Gone
      
1964 Prathletico Grande            v             Fattered Tanj
             Which Team            v             It's A Snickers
              Irishpool            v             RS-TBOY
        Mainly Bell Jam            v             Blat Setter's Mad Hatters
     
In the event of a draw the ties will be decided using the Points Per Pound Value.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4  0 311
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.1  0 265
 3 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      53.5  0 256
 4 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0  0 256
 5 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4  0 252
 6 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4  0 240
 7 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9  0 234
 8 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.3  0 233
 9 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  0 229
10 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.3  0 223

Monday 20 January 2014

Week 23: Bielbliboos

I blame the parents
 
Not that OMG Chairman has been spending too much time with his Mini-Me goggling at "The Cbeebies" or anything but if a parent is going to be judged by their offspring then there is no way He'd want to be meeting those of the Tombliboos. Awful people, surely.  Uncouth, free-thinking, liberal oiks with personal hygiene problems, at a guess.

And talking of personal hygiene problems we can see that Mr Bielby has stretched his lead at the top of the table again. This week sees his Livercoolio push ten points further ahead of second place Inter Milandrover who are loosening their grip on the Championship with every passing week.

Meanwhile, Manager of the Week this week is Lord Beeky McBeek of Rickcroft.  We mean Rick Beecroft, of course.  His RST-Boy netted 18 points which, while boast-worthy, lifted him NO PLACES in the league.

So, we're well over half way into the season.  Let's take a little look at the teams with the most transfers remaining...


OFFL Transfers Remaining, Week 23
=================================

Lge                                                   Transfer
PosTeam                       Manager        Value Pts Remain
-------------------------------------------------------------                                                       
14 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0 190   12
17 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9 177   12
21 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7 157   12
22 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4 139   12
23 Mainly Bell Jam            Hercule Poirot  54.0 134   12
24 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8 134   12
 7 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 234   10
 9 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 229   10
16 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    52.8 185   10
25 It Goes To Eleven          Tom Vamos       47.3  62   10
 6 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4 240   9
20 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.0 160   8
 8 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.4 233   7
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.8 208   7
15 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.4 186   7
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 311   4
 4 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 256   4
 5 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4 252   3
18 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    52.5 167   3
19 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.0 164   3
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.1 265   2
10 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.3 223   2
13 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   53.9 203   2
12 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       54.8 207   1
 3 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 256   0
 
 
Have a good weekend, all.

Tinkety Tonk.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 14 311
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.1  4 265
 3 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 15 256
 4 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 15 256
 5 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4 13 252
 6 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4 12 240
 7 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9  5 234
 8 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.4 13 233
 9 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  1 229
10 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.3 15 223

Monday 13 January 2014

Week 22: Blooming Bingham

Bingham blooms up the table
Unlike Our Most Gracious Chairman's own corporeal state there are some scores this week that are looking very healthy indeed.  Livercoolio drop 5 points from their lead over current Champions Inter Milandrover who notched up a radiant 20 points.  But even that particular score looks a little pasty-faced and under-the-weather compared with a couple of other weekly hauls. Radnorshire Tigers netted 22 points [up 2] and this week's Manager of the Week, Sarah Bingham, bloomed into a score of 26 points, surgically-lifting her Fattered Tanj up a place into fifth spot.  And another enormoscore from the Silver [singed] Fox himself, Mike Smears, who sees his Irishpool bountifully beckon a bulging bagful of points to Stannah-lift himself up into the top ten for the first time in, well... ever?

And that's a little too long for one opening paragraph, don't you think?

Accompanied by two completely unnecessarily subsequent paragraphs means that it must surely be time to kill off this week's Studmarks as it limps into a superfluous farewell.  Goodbye.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 15 297
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.8 20 261
 3 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 17 241
 4 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 10 241
 5 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4 26 239
 6 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 15 229
 7 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 17 228
 8 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4 15 228
 9 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2 18 220
10 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.0 20 208

Monday 6 January 2014

Week 21: OFFL Cup Group Stage Results

Mike Smears is Manager of the Week: his Irishpool Zimmers one place up the League.
Manager of the Weak [and frail] is Mike 'Last Legs' Smears.  His Irishpool Zimmerred one place up the league thanks to a magnificent, yet unexpected, weekly haul of 22 points.

Also of note is Tom Vamos's 15 points but his 'It Goes To Eleven' are still rooted to the bottom of the table by 72 points so we won't dwell on that for too long.

In fact, that was it.

So, how about some OFFL Cuppage?

OFFL Cup

Group Stage, Final Standings.


Group A                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Livercoolio                   54.4  21  14   35
  RS-TBOY                       54.6  14  12   26
  Eggafield Rovers              52.9  17   5   22
  Neil's Diamonds               53.8  12   8   20
  Botley Yellow                 54.4   8   3   11   Out
  
Group B                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            52.5  25  11   36
  Blat Setter's Mad Hatters     52.5  18  14   32
  Inter Milandrover             54.6  19   9   28
  Moanchester Ununited          55.0  14  10   24
  Lashings Of Cheese            54.4  11  10   21   Out
  
Group C                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  It's A Snickers               54.0  32   7   39
  Fattered Tanj                 53.4  13   7   20
  Which Team                    52.8  12   7   19
  Tierney's Twonks              53.2   6   4   10
  Moobchester Utd               54.7   8  -1    7   Out
  
Group D                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Pyeators II                   55.0  22  15   37
  Mintal Institute              54.9  17  12   29
  Mainly Bell Jam               54.0  18   4   22
  1964 Prathletico Grande       54.4  14   8   22
  Real Mcdrid                   54.8  13   3   16   Out
  
Group E                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Irishpool                     54.0  19  22   41
  Woolyback Returns             54.9  19  17   36
  It Goes To Eleven             47.3   5  15   20
  Gone Poyet Gone               52.7   0  10   10
  Johnny's Heroes               54.8   4   1    5   Out
 

Commiserations to all the exiting managers, who now are enabled for greater concentration on, say, the League.

Particularly strange is seeing Real Mcdrid leave the competition at such an early stage.  The last few years has seen Manager McHugh do well in the Cup, expecially in 2011 when he won it and last year when he was Runner Up to Gavin Ward's Olympilimps FC.  With nothing left to hope for Mr McHugh was last seen purchasing a one-way ticket to Zurich.

If Lashings of Cheese had been in Group C they'd have finished second and be sailing through to the next round.  As it is, the Cheese is OUT.  Also like Mr Hitzlsperger, The Moobs are OUT.  Oxford United's Kate Wilson's Botley Yellow are OUT too [tut, tsk and oof].  And as for Johnny's Heroes... well you just weren't treating the Cup with the respect it deserves, were you Mrs Bielby?  You ARE the weakest link... Goodbye!  

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 14 282
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.6  9 241
 3 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 15 231
 4 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 14 224
 5 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 17 214
 6 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4  7 213
 7 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4  8 213
 8 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  5 211
 9 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2  4 202
10 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       52.7 10 189