Week 15: OFFL Cup Group Stage

Christmas Boreball

With a mahoosive Manager of the Week-winning megascore of 94 points, our current Champion Neil McConaghy has narrowed the gap between his Second Placed Neil's Diamonds and current First Placed Moanchester United.  This makes the 92 point score deficit between First and Third place appear slightly less daunting.  In a fewer-points-than-you-think kind of way.

All of that is of absolute indifference to those below Third.

You may find some sort of interest-reignition in the fact that we now know which group you'll be in for the First Round of the OFFL Cup.

That was definitely a sharp intake of anticipatory breath somewhere in the audience there.

Hey, what am I blithering on about?  This is what I'm blathering on about...

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OFFL Cup
--------
Group Stage

Top two teams from each group go through to the knockout stage

                                Week
Group A                       17   18  Total
--------------------------------------------
Moanchester United                       0
Johnny's Heroes                          0
What's Scotland For?                     0

Group B
--------------------------------------------
Neil's Diamonds                          0
Inter Milandrover                        0
RockRollford United                      0

Group C
--------------------------------------------
Pyeators                                 0
Suits You Sur-man                        0
Minty's Minions                          0

Group D
--------------------------------------------
RS-TBOY                                  0
Rushden Academicals 2nd XI               0
Ali McMoist                              0

Group E
--------------------------------------------
Bayern Bru                               0
Radnorshire Tigers                       0
Wardy's Wasters                          0

Group F
--------------------------------------------
Brighton Beautiful                       0
Game Of Throw Ins                        0
Obi Wan Kenobi Nil                       0

Group G
--------------------------------------------
Livercoolio                              0
Irishpool                                0
Sheep City                               0

Group H
--------------------------------------------
Pogboom                                  0
Moobchester United                       0
Crystal Phallus                          0

And with that we say Happy Christmas.

"Happy Christmas"

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 85  682
 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 94  657
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         49.9 80  629
 4 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 77  590
 5 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 74  588
 6 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.2 64  584
 7 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 67  573
 8 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 91  561
 9 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         48.1 65  560
10 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.6 58  556

Week 14: Dull

Strictly Dull

Manager of the Week again is Alex Bluddy Blundell, Moanchester United scored 51 points.  They're pulling away you know.

This week's highest climber is Sarah Bing Bong Bingham.  Her Suits You Surman climbed three places into Eleventh.  Otherwise there wasn't much movement in the table at all.  Quite dull really.

Let's distract ourselves, albeit very briefly, from the torpidity of this week's nonsense by thinking about the OFFL Cup.

There.  We thought about it.

Move on.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 51  597

 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 42  563

 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         49.9 41  549

 4 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.2 36  520

 5 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 34  514

 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 34  513

 7 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 43  506

 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.6 40  498

 9 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         48.1 42  495

10 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 22  479

Week 13: There's a Prize?

This is not an actual prize available to us

Is it time to talk about the OFFL Cup?  It is, isn't it?  

Your league position after Week 15 will determine your seeding in the first round.  The first round will be a group competition played over the Christmas period and will leave us with 16 teams to slog it out over the rest of the season.

And now you can wake up.

The prize will be... determined.

In the meantime, we've had a week of massive scores.  Mike Smears, ageing disgracefully though he might be, notched up a week's score with graceful thunderousness. 91 points.  His Irishpool have moved up a deceivingly meek three places while he gets Manager of the Week.

Up at the top we see Moanchester United and Neil's Diamonds move further ahead, Pyeators struggling to keep up with the pace.  But what IS going on with Crystal Phallus?  Last season's successful Sixth Place.  This season's bottom dweller.


True.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 89  546
 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 84  521
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         49.9 76  508
 4 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.2 76  484
 5 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 82  480
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 80  479
 7 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 79  463
 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.4 73  458
 9 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 81  457
10 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         47.7 63  453

Week 12: Help me please, OFFL staff are evil.

This is being typed by Work Experience Boy.  Help me please, OFFL staff are evil.

I am contractually obliged to point out that Manager of the Week for Week 12 is Sarah Bielby for getting her Johnny's Heroes to score 47 points.


Got to go.  Foreman is reaching for his whip.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 39  457
 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 31  437
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 32  432
 4 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.9 40  408
 5 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 31  399
 6 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 30  398
 7 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         47.7 47  390
 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.2 29  385
 9 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 36  384
10 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 27  376

Week 10 & 11: Mum has gone to Iceland

Qualified Ahead of Scotland

We're back.  We're back from watching two terribly tedious and turgid nil-nil England games followed by the final toilet-flush of the rest of the Home Nations' attempts at World Cup Qualification.  All except Ireland of course.  They qualified...

...oh hang on.  Not Ireland.  Iceland.  We meant Iceland.

Iceland qualified.  You hear that Scotland?  ICELAND.

Even Bejam qualified before Scotland.

Oops again.  We mean Belgium.  BELGIUM.

The distant dirge of desolate tumbleweeding from the usual goal-pated prattling pundits has perked upwardly thanks to a fine week of Premiershippery.  Even Birthday Boy Mike Smears managed to notch up a score of over 50 points.  Hardly a [bald]patch, however, on this week's Manager of the Week.  Yes, Alex Blundering Blundell transfers in the Pope before going ahead and scoring a heavenly mahoosiff 81 points.  This takes his Moanchester United right to the top of the Table.

With healthy scores continuing to arrive for both former leaders Neil's Diamonds and Pyeators a real gap is opening between the leading pack and the panting pelaton of pursuers arrear.

And THAT is as exciting as we can make Week 11 sound.

<honk honk>

Oof.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 81  418
 2 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 60  406
 3 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 52  400
 4 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 65  368
 5 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 64  368
 6 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.9 55  368
 7 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.2 57  356
 8 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 40  349
 9 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 48  348
10 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         47.7 48  343