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| Donald Top Trump: Looking up at the rest of the teams while 'alternative facting' about his bottomness |
Contradicting all available evidence - i.e. the total number of points accrued by Donald 'Top' Trump's team - he insisted the fluffy-haired narcissist's league position was actually the "toppest ever league position ever to have been witnessed in the world ever, period" and suggested that Studmarks "intentionally mucked around" with their points-harvesting algorithm to make the current league ranking of the Tumpeteers appear altitudinally poor.
With his 'Sniper's Delight' hairstyle, the alternative fact-spouting megalomaniac was nowhere to be sniped. Or seen, we should say. Seen.
In the meantime, Smasher and Jon King take a share each of this week's Manager of the Week certificate by steering their respective teams to 24 points. Inter Milandrover are up into Third while Moobchester United climb into the top ten at ninth.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.9 17 285
2 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.3 11 266
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.6 24 264
4 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.7 19 262
5 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 55.0 19 258
6 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 15 246
7 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 16 242
8 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.7 8 241
9 Moobchester United Jon King 54.7 24 239
10 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 7 235
11 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 2 235
12 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.7 10 228
13 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.7 7 228
14 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.4 2 226
15 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 53.9 10 224
16 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 14 217
17 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 5 217
18 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 18 216
19 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 9 204
20 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 12 202
21 Irishpool Mike Smears 53.7 23 199
22 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.5 4 199
23 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 3 183
24 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.0 15 176
25 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 2 144
26 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.9 2 136
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 21 116
28 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 -2 92
29 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 -1 75
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 43.0 1 -16
Week's Average Points 10.6
Total Average Points 201.3
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
Crystal Phallus
-------------------
From: Guy Salter
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Esteemed Chairman
Seeing as "The mighty Phallus" are picking up a couple of awards and have earned me household bragging rights, i feel its about the right time for a bit of a tweak, so before a droop in performance sets in, i have taken things "into hand" to firm up my title challenge
Under no circumstances does this have anything to do with the fact that the "trouble and strife" is on various football websites looking at form for her team.
Hope all is well
Guy
Out 310 CB G McAuley WBA In 293 CB Y Kaboul SUN
Out 421 MF R Sterling MC In 484 MF C Eriksen TOT
Out 450 MF N Redmond SOT In 337 MF J Stanislas BOU
----------------------
Chairman responds:
You mighty phallus, you.
=============================
Irishpool
-------------------
From: Mike Smears
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Esteemed Mr Dr President
Please would you be so good, young man, as to effect the following transfers? I am not accustomed to this lowly position in the league and trust you to raise Irishpool to a level appropriate to my status.
OUT
191 Sagna
665 Slimani
IN
222 Walker
544 Lukaku.
Thank you, Young man.
Btw, my friend D Trump - of Trumpeteers - is FURIOUS at his worsening position. Once his inauguration is over, he’s out to get you. Watch out!!!
Yours faithfully,
Brexit from Bassett
----------------------
Chairman responds:
And which position in the White House government have you been recruited for, may I ask?
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