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| Miss Colquhoun currently enjoying smartphone technology |
Minty 'Posh Bint' Colquhoun is, with a massive haul of 32 points, this week's Manager of the Week. This statistical outlier of a score from the reigning Champions has propelled Minty's Minions up five places into Fifteenth - not quite ridding themselves of the burden of analogy with this season's Premiership's Leicester City but it's a move in the right direction nevertheless.
If scores continue to progress in this manner, The Mighty Posh Bint Mint will be fighting former colleague Nick Bouncy Borrett for the title.
Ah, that cheered us up.
Seriously though, well done. It's no mean feat to have achieved such a high score while, as the grapevine carries it, breaking in your first ever smartphone. In fact, Our Most Gracious Chairman would like us to sincerely thank you for the thirty-eight blank text messages that were received from you on Thursday morning. 3 O'Clock in the morning.
That's a 3am to 4.30am stint of no-sleep that will linger in the memory for quite a while.
Righto, shall we make the draw for the next round of the OFFL Cup, then?
No, let's not.
Here's the Team of the Month for December instead...
Lge Dec
Pos Name Pts
------------------------------
3 Crystal Phallus 98
6 RS-TBOY 89
1 Pyeators 84
2 Dowds Farm Goblins 82
8 Livercoolio 79
11 Shutdown FC 78
16 Toby's Gang 78
5 Neil's Diamonds 75
18 Game Of Throw Ins 74
13 Radnorshire Tigers 74
14 Moobchester United 72
6 Epic Yellowz 70
19 Bourneslippy 66
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil 64
4 Inter Milandrover 62
2 The Flying Geese 62
9 Absolutely Fabregas 61
10 Starpratt Mustgo 61
23 Irishpool 55
24 It's A Snickers 53
17 Big Girl's Blouses 51
19 Guess Hughton 51
25 Sheep City 50
21 Johnny's Heroes 49
15 Minty's Minions 49
12 Moanchester United 37
26 Roll all the dice FC 25
29 Ali McMoist 23
28 Moreton Rovers 18
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T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.9 14 268
2 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.3 23 255
3 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.7 12 243
4 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.0 21 240
5 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 55.0 12 239
6 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.7 13 233
7 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 10 233
8 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 13 231
9 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 10 228
10 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 17 226
11 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.4 19 224
12 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.7 21 221
13 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.7 20 218
14 Moobchester United Jon King 54.0 12 215
15 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 53.9 32 214
16 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 12 212
17 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 11 203
18 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 24 198
19 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 9 195
20 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.5 7 195
21 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 -2 190
22 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 12 180
23 Irishpool Mike Smears 53.7 14 176
24 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.0 3 161
25 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 -1 142
26 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.9 3 134
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 14 95
28 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 1 94
29 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 8 76
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 43.0 0 -17
Week's Average Points 12.1
Total Average Points 190.7
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
Moobchester United
-------------------
From: Jon King
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfers
Good Afternoon Chairman,
More transfers required to ensure my mid-table mediocrity...
Out:
202 L Shaw
369 R Barkley
561 A Negredo
In:
157 N Ake
406 A Lallana
584 H Kane
Regards,
Jon
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Just as Barkley is getting back into his stride.
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Inter Milandrover
-------------------
From: Smasher
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: One Remaining
Out
538 D Costa ST CHE
255 J Stones CB EVE
In
565 Ibrahimovic ST MU
244 Cahill CB CHE
----------------------
Chairman responds:
This is sad. Just accept it. You've got no chance of finishing anywhere near the top spot.
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