 |
| Gotta go bye |
Now if you'll excuse us while an increasingly challenging nearly-2 year old boy drunkenly waves a pair of scissors over his sister's face, we'll be back next week.
Team of the Month for January 2017 is Dowds Farm Goblins.
# Team Name Pts
---------------------------
2 Dowds Farm Goblins 88
4 Inter Milandrover 81
10 Moobchester United 79
3 Crystal Phallus 72
18 Game Of Throw Ins 65
14 Minty's Minions 64
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil 63
9 Radnorshire Tigers 63
7 Starpratt Mustgo 62
21 Guess Hughton 61
6 Livercoolio 61
.
.
.
22 Bourneslippy 36
19 Johnny's Heroes 32
24 It's A Snickers 27
25 Sheep City 27
29 Ali McMoist 20
26 Roll all the dice FC 18
28 Moreton Rovers 14
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T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.9 13 298
2 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.3 14 280
3 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 16 278
4 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.6 13 277
5 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 55.0 16 274
6 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 26 272
7 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 18 260
8 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.7 18 259
9 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.7 29 257
10 Moobchester United Jon King 54.7 10 249
11 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 13 248
12 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 11 246
13 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.7 8 236
14 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 53.9 10 234
15 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.4 8 232
16 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.8 25 224
17 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 4 221
18 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 4 220
19 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 15 217
20 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 -4 213
21 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 8 212
22 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.5 12 211
23 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 24 207
24 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.0 2 178
25 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 15 159
26 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.6 14 150
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 19 135
28 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 11 103
29 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 2 77
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 43.0 18 2
Week's Average Points 13.1
Total Average Points 214.3
-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
The Trumpeteers
-------------------
From: Donald "Mike Smears" Trump
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Esteemed Mr President
I just had a furious call from my friend Donald re The Trumpeteers. I ought to warn you, he is LIVID at your account of events. “I’ll have this Adam Larkino sent back to where he belongs - and Mexico can pay,” he bawled, over the Trump-team theme of ‘We Shall Overcomb’. What’s more, he’s signed executive orders for three transfers this week. So, my advice to you is to make them asap, before he builds a wall around OFFL.
So:
OUT
570 Long
637 Marshall
296 Amat
IN
563 Rhodes
139 Fabianski
295 O’Shea.
Yeah, best do what he says, or Vlad’ll be on your trail.
Yours respectfully
Brexit from Bassett.
----------------------
Chairman responds:
18 points this week. It's almost like he knows what he's doing. I'd vote for him.
=============================
Epic Yellowz
-------------------
From: Kate Wilson
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Dear Sir
Epic Yelloz would like to request the following changes:
OUT
198 Darmian
129 De Gea
IN
166 Azpilicueto
141 Lloris
Do keep an eye on the FA Cup this weekend, when the Mighty Yellows take on Newcastle! You never know....
Love to all. Kate x
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Oxford United 3 v Newcastle United 0
=============================
Roll all the dice FC
-------------------
From: Gavin Ward
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 2017: The down before an up?
Dear Chairman,
I’ve been trying really hard to wake up from what I could only assume to be a nasty dream, nothing appears to have gone as I expected it. Take a look around and it’s clear that this is not a reality that anyone wants to deal with – so, I’ve decided to do something about it…
Please could you make the following changes:
Out
229 C Zuniga
253 P Jagielka
516 D Payet
317 S Cazorla
In
157 N Ake
286 V Van Dijk
408 S Mane
478 D Alli
Oh, and if you get a chance:
Out
D J Trump
In
----------------------
Chairman responds:
These transfers are clearly part of an executive order that no judge in the land would dare to challenge. Unless you had two players from the same club. Which you don't.
=============================
Shutdown FC
-------------------
From: Sam Reed
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Dear Mr Chairman,
On behalf of my executive sponsor, I would like to request the following changes to Shutdown FC:
Out:
222 FB K Walker
516 MF D Payet
553 ST J Vardy
In:
166 Azpilicueta FB CHE
478 D Alli MF TOT £5.0
523 A Sanchez ST ARS £7.6
Many thanks!
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Always welcome. So good to see the youth of today taking this OFFL thing seriously.
=============================
Dowds Farm Goblins
-------------------
From: Nick Borrett
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Evening Mr Chairman,
Time for a shuffle round at Goblins HQ, so can you make the following changes if you'd be so kind:
Out
185 Clyne
347 Hazard
In
640 Alonso
478 Alli
Thanks,
Nick
----------------------
Chairman responds:
All done, all in and oh: congratulations on having the Team of the Month for January. Feel the hate from the rest of the league yet? It'll come. Trust me. The Hate will come.
=============================
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