Week 27: Broken Seals

Penniless Pup: A seal what is broke

It was Week 11 when Sarah Bingham's Absolutely Fabregas broke the OFFL's 100 point seal and, then, Week 19 when Dave Clayton skipped over the 200 point mark.  It's now Week 27 and The Dave's Pyeators, albeit looking a little weary, are still at the top of the pile and marching happily across the 300 point mark all by themselves.  The belief that the Championship is theirs remains strong.

Not only does this signify that the end of the season is hovering just below the horizon but it also means that the rest of the managers had better get a boogie on if they're going to challenge for this most prestigious of prizes.

Smasher of Inter Milandrover fame has got the message and has recently put on a lethargic spurt to claim Second Place in the table.

Three paragraphs in and still no jokes, gags or smile-worthy funniness.  With shoulders slumping in embarrassed dejection, we make our way towards the exit, tossing the last crumpling of necessary info over our shoulder...

Guy Harewood earns the Manager of the Week certificate this week for cheering on his Big Girls Blouses to a pleasingly billowy 22 points.  Mr Harewood needed some good news as his season was slowly disappearing into the murky mist of mid-table mediocrity.  The Blouses climb four into Sixteenth.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         54.9 14 312

 2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.6 19 296

 3 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2 15 293

 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8 17 289

 5 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         53.2  8 288

 6 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0 11 285

 7 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         54.7 11 268

 8 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0  8 268

 9 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.5  6 265

10 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 12 258

11 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  8 257

12 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        55.0  4 252

13 Shutdown FC          Sam Reed             54.0 12 244

14 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        54.7  4 240

15 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      53.9  4 238

16 Big Girl's Blouses   Guy Harewood         54.6 22 235

17 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         54.9 15 235

18 Toby's Gang          Toby Larking         55.0 14 235

19 Bourneslippy         Karyn Meaden-Pratt   54.5 17 228

20 Irishpool            Mike Smears          54.8  4 228

21 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         54.6  4 221

22 Guess Hughton        Nick Reed            54.3  6 218

23 The Flying Geese     Mandy Noble          54.8 10 217

24 It's A Snickers      Ashley Keeler        54.0 11 189

25 Sheep City           Martyn Field         53.9  5 164

26 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward           54.6  6 156

27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          53.7 14 149

28 Moreton Rovers       Edgar Rayner         55.0  4 107

29 Ali McMoist          Ali Larking          46.8  3  80

30 The Trumpeteers      Donald Trump         43.0 -1   1

                        Week's Average Points        9.6

                        Total Average Points        223.9

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

The Trumpeteers
-------------------
   From: Donald "Mike Smears" Trump
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Re: The following transfers...

OUT
570 Long
637 Marshall
296 Amat

IN
563 Rhodes
139 Fabianski
295 O’Shea.

----------------------
Chairman responds:

We are very glad that it is you who has to tell that Trump that his transfers would make his team illegal... SEE YOU IN COURT!

[O'Shea would mean too many SUN players along with Kone and Borini]

I expect to hear from his solicitors via twitter.

=============================

The Trumpeteers
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Illegal Transfers

He was INCANDESCENT!  "I shal soo this so-corled precedent of this so-corled OFFL in the supreem cort,” he said.

Okay, his advisers want to replace  Kone (294) with Huth (262).  His hairdresser said ‘We shall overcomb all difficulties.'

Brexit from Bassett

----------------------
Chairman responds:
This pleases me.  Carry on.

=============================

Epic Yellowz
-------------------
   From: Kate Wilson
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Dear Sir

OUT
516 Payet

IN
478 Alli

Thank you! Kate x

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Umm.  2 TOT players already.  Think again people, think again.

=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Esteemed Mr President

 While I realize that you are keeping a low profile, out of the way of Donald, Vlad and their friends, could you be so kind as to make the following transfer for Irishpool:

OUT
286 Van Dijk

IN
278 Gibson.

Thank you. This week Mr Trump has been relatively quiet, but KellyAnne Conway wants you to insert in the OFFL league table an advert encouraging everyone to buy Ivanka Trump’s clothes. She doesn't say what Ivanka is going to wear afterwards.

As ever

Brexit from Bassett

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Sir, you are a tonic.  Ms Trump, you are a tunic.


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