Tuesday, 8 August 2017
Thursday, 8 June 2017
Week 41: Winning and Not Winning
A fantastically fascinating final furlong in the ferociously fought fumble for the fantasy football title.
A massive Manager of the Week certificate-winning week's score of 42 points from the recent long-time league leaders Pyeators threw Dave Clayton's lads all the way back up the table earning themselves a final Second Place finish to the season for the third time in five years. They landed up there with a bump, short by just 11 points, behind this year's Office Fantasy Football League Champions, Neil's Diamonds. Yes, it's now official. Congratulations to Neil McConaghy who hasn't won the title since 2008 when he topped the table with Big Mac's Mingmongs.
Congratulations/Commiserations therefore to Dave 'Runner Up' Clayton who adds 2017 Runners Up, to his legacy of losings. This includes 2014 Runners Up, 2013 Runners Up and 2012 Cup Runners Up. "Don't worry Dave," as we've comforted him almost every year since 2012, "there's always next season."
Meanwhile, talking of not-winners... the curiously quixotic Edgar Rayner had the chance of a Fantasy lifetime to lift the OFFL Cup... here's what happened:
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OFFL Cup Final
--------------
RESULT
Inter Milandrover 26 v 11 Moreton Rovers
Smasher Edgar Rayner
Indeed, with a few clever transfers Mr Rayner would have definitely definitely definitely had it 'dans le sac'. But disastrously tethered to his honourably unrealistic transfer policy ideals, the third-from-bottom-placed Moreton Rovers's lack of quality shone brightly through against Third Place Inter Milandrover who retain the title of 'OFFL Cup Winners' this season.
Indeed, Smasher taking the Cup for the second year running should momentarily mute much of the moaning from the many mortals within the Milandrover mingmongery who have been moodily mooting for Smasher's sacking after more than 20 years at the club. As it happens, their legendary manager has just signed another two year extension to his contract.
And with that, we say goodbye and thank you for your participation in yet another OFFL Season.
Roll credits with a backdrop of Neil McConaghy lifting the League Title to an exciting music track of pop metal.
OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 2016/2017
Neil's Diamonds, managed by Neil McConaghy on a score of 448 points
OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CUP WINNERS 2016/2017
Inter Milandrover, managed by Smasher, by 15 points
T h e F i n a l T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.8 21 448
2 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.5 42 437
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 26 435
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 32 433
5 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.0 14 415
6 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 27 414
7 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.8 7 404
8 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 23 399
9 Moobchester United Jon King 54.7 41 395
10 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.2 24 385
Friday, 19 May 2017
Week 40: West Spam United
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| Livercoolio's Transfer Requests |
Dave Clayton and Ashley Keeler are joint Managers of the Week with a score of 32 points for Pyeators and It's A Snickers respectively. What a way to go into the final week of the season.
Meanwhile, the blameless OFFL are embroiled in a transfers scandal involving Livercoolio being maliciously Spam Filtered out of submitting transfers by Google. So if you've spotted an apparent glitch in the table please rest assured, Livercoolio are currently Fourth in the table with all appropriate points awarded.
And talking of transfers... none have been submitted by Moreton Rovers' Edgar Rayner meaning Smasher is in with a shout of winning the OFFL Cup. How magnanimous of the singer from Loopy...
==============
OFFL Cup Final
--------------
The Final takes place in Week 41
Inter Milandrover v Moreton Rovers
Smasher Edgar Rayner
Inter Milandrover Moreton Rovers
----------------------------------------------------
GK P Cech ARS 4.2 v D De Gea MU 4.3
FB K Walker TOT 4.3 v C Fuchs LEI 4.2
FB L Baines EVE 4.3 v A Barragan MID 3.5
CB G Cahill CHE 4.5 v J Collins WH 3.8
CB A Williams SWA 3.7 v C Smalling MU 4.5
MF R Snodgrass HUL 3.5 v J Cuadrado CHE 4.7
MF E Capoue WAT 3.3 v J Wilshere ARS 3.8
MF K De Bruyne MC 6.5 v A Ramsey ARS 4.8
MF Pedro CHE 4.8 v R Mahrez LEI 5.6
MF Z Ibrahimovic MU 8.0 v D Sturridge LIV 7.3
MF A Sanchez ARS 7.6 v S Aguero MC 8.5
---
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.8 29 427
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 23 409
3 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.0 30 401
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 20 401
5 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.8 18 397
6 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.5 32 395
7 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 26 387
8 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 22 376
9 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 17 365
10 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 6 365
Thursday, 11 May 2017
Week 39: Fidget-Spinning in Excitement
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| Neil's Excited |
Meanwhile at the top of the table... two weeks of results to go. 12 points in it. Is the gap too big? Yes, probably. Let's be honest. We can see Neil McConaghy fidget-spinning in excitement.
But what of The Cup?
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OFFL Cup
--------
Semi-Finals, RESULTS, Wk39
RS-TBOY 5 v 10 Inter Milandrover
Rick Beecroft Smasher
Dowds Farm Goblins 6 v 7 Moreton Rovers
Nick Borrett Edgar Rayner
The final is therefore between Inter Milandrover and Moreton Rovers. Moreton Rovers have 12 transfers left while Inter Milandrover have none. This means that Moreton Rovers can GUARANTEE a cup win if they can spot any player that is out injured for the rest of the season in Inter Milandrover's team. They just have to swap the entire team to copy that of Inter Milandrover's apart from the injured player and put in a cheaper replacement. Make sense? One manager hopes not.
Good luck to Eg Rayner in working it all out, if indeed he can be bothered.
Of course he can be bothered.
It's The Cup.
The Final takes place in Week 41.
==============
OFFL Cup Final
--------------
Inter Milandrover v Moreton Rovers
Smasher Edgar Rayner
It's Second against Third From Bottom. Transfer deadline, Monday 1730 hours.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.8 2 398
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 10 386
3 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.8 6 379
4 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.0 6 371
5 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 2 368
6 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.5 -1 363
7 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 2 361
8 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 5 359
9 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 6 354
10 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 2 348
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Week 38: Diamonds On Course For League Title
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| McConaghy: Getting ready to accept the title |
Meanwhile Neil McConaghy has nudged his Diamonds even further away from the chasing pack of wannabes. Now 20 points ahead with 6 transfers left it all looks like what one might call a commanding lead - and at such a late stage in the season too.
Meanwhile...
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OFFL Cup
========
Semi-Finals, IN PLAY
RS-TBOY v Inter Milandrover
Rick Beecroft Smasher
Dowds Farm Goblins v Moreton Rovers
Nick Borrett Edgar Rayner
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.8 25 396
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 14 376
3 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.8 15 373
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 10 366
5 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.0 28 365
6 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.5 19 364
7 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 15 359
8 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 20 354
9 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 28 348
10 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 20 346
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