Week 14: Won't remember it by tomorrow

Happy Birthday Mr Smears

As we leave the 9th consecutive week of FC Maalcoma's tenure at the top, we see that the Manager of the Week this week is Neil McConaghy and his Neil's Diamonds.  They score a rather large 21 points.

Last week's Highest Climbers, Real Mcdrid, become this week's Farthest Fallers, scoring -4 and falling down eight places, returning Mr McHugh to the lower echelons of the table. Meanwhile, Sarah-Jane John's Johnny's Heroes become this week's Highest Climbers by moving up six.

And finally for this missive, we at Studmarks would like to wish Manager Mike Smears a very happy birthday for this week [Thursday]. With more birthdays than anyone else in the league, we know he'll be struggling to remember it by tomorrow.  Still, we hope he has a marvellous day all the same.

If he's awake for any of it.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 11 130

 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 16 118

 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 20 112

 4 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 21 111

 5 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 19 104

 6 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  7 100

 7 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6  7  99

 8 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  5  98

 9 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5 15  97

10 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          53.0 11  92

10 Moobchester United     John King           53.5  6  92

Week 13: E.R. is no longer on T.V.

The handsome ER.  No longer on TV.

E.R. is no longer on T.V.  And by that, of course, of course, of course, we mean Edgar Rayner is no longer above Tom Vamos in the race for the wooden spoon.  And while Battling for Bottom sounds like they're a couple of bum fetishists, these managers of Moreton Rovers and West Vam respectively continue their attempts to keep up with Russ Bielby's woefully under-achieving Livercoolio.

At the other end of the table, with only 20 points separating second position from twelfth, the chasing pack are ever so gradually reeling leaders FC Maalcoma back into the fray.  Indeed, Manager of the Week this week is second place Smasher and the 16 points that the Current Champions, Inter Milandrover, notched up sees them become only the second team to pass the 100pt mark, moving up to the top of this crowd of bustling title challengers.

Highest climbers this week are seven-place hoppers, Real Mcdrid.  Manager Craig McHugh continues his sneaky upcreep by shuffling into joint sixth forcing fellow sixth-placer [and this week's lowest faller], Sarah Bingham and her Multiple Scorgasms, to budge up a bit.

First Round of the OFFL Cup is just a month away.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  5 119
 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 16 102
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.5 11  95
 4 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  6  93
 4 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  9  93
 6 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 13  92
 6 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.6  3  92
 8 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  7  90
 9 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  4  89
10 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  6  86

Week 12: After you, Mr Rayner

Tom Vamos: "After you, Mr Rayner"

Manager of the Week this week is, AT LAST, Mike Smears.  His group of young whipper-snappers managed to turn up early to the Post Office this week and pull off a pension-busting heist worth 18 points.

Congratulations Mr Smears. Subsequently, Irishpool have leapt into fifteenth place in the table which is, after all, far betting faring than globe-trotting Tom Vamos.  His recent absence from the UK, tottering around Japan, has been a noticeable distraction. In fact, West Vam have allowed Edgar Rayner's Moreton Rovers past them, into nineteenth, leaving Mr Vamos in last place.

"After you, Mr Rayner".

How polite.

In the meantime, Malcolm Pratt's FC Maalcoma are doing all they can to let everyone else catch up by scoring -3 points this week.  Not quite sure what Mr Beecroft's excuse is however.

Play on.
                         
By the`way, those functionaries at OFFL HQ would like to officially apologise to Dave Clayton.  Three Umpa Lumpa's are dead now because of him.  Ahem.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0 -3 114
 2 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4  7  89
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        53.6 15  88
 4 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  4  87
 5 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.2 14  86
 6 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 11  85
 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5  8  85
 8 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0  2  84
 9 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  9  83
 9 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9  9  83

Week 11: Inside Mally's Skull

Big Mal's Skull after it had been
prised open to check for sunshine

It's cold, it's dark. And that's just Malcolm Pratt's general outlook on life, including his prospects at the start of this season. Presently, however, were you to prise open the big fella's beautiful skull you'd see a completely different disposition, sunnier say, thanks to his FC Maalcoma still sitting pretty atop the table of Fantasy. And all this because the lead Mr Pratt's men have on the rest of the field is so fat that not even a few weeks of others catching up can make much of a dent [in his lead, disposition, skull etc].

This week's Manager of the Week is Rachel Jones whose Double's United notched up 18 points to push themselves up seven points into third.  Remarkably, however, it is Sarah-Jane John's jolly Johnny's Heroes jumping highest this week. Up eight into sixth.

Other than that, furrow your brow and look at West Vam.  While the manager is away in Japland, his untillered team take a turn for the terrible.  -2 points.

Yes, minus two.

Happy Birthday Craig McHugh for Monday.  So far so good.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  8 117
 2 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 15  91
 3 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9 18  83
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4 12  82
 4 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 -1  82
 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.5 17  77
 7 Olympilimps FC         Gavin Ward          52.6 12  74
 7 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7  8  74
 7 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  8  74
 7 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.9 11  74

Week 09 & 10: Massive Leap

Craig McHugh massively leaps six

Minted and the Pyeators make up another 4 points on Leaders Maalcoma whilst the Manager of the Week certificate this week goes to the wonderful Craig McHugh. 17 points sees his Real Mcdrid massively leap six places in the league into sixth.

Everyone look in shame at Rachel Jones. Down six.

Such a shame, such a shame.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 FC Maalcoma            Malcolm Pratt       55.0  9 109
 2 Minted                 Minty Colquhoun     55.0 13  83
 3 Pyeators               Dave Clayton        54.8 13  76
 4 Multiple Scorgasms     Sarah Bingham       54.4  6  70
 5 WWMC                   Steve Tierney       54.9  7  68
 6 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.1 17  67
 7 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       53.7 13  66
 7 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.5  8  66
 9 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.1 16  65
 9 Double's United        Rachel Jones        53.9  0  65
 9 Moobchester United     John King           54.7  7  65