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| The Wet Fish-Slap of Reality |
So this year [if you can imagine it] OMG Chairman was flicking the doughnut crumbs off his continually ballooning belly, and about to plunge into a beautiful snooze, when the wet fish of reality slapped him harshly across the face. Convulsing with panic, he vaulted into the green leather chair of his bureaux followed by the dragging of a chubby little finger down a column of dates in his Danii Minogue calendar while his tongue apprehensively clings to the outside of his upper lip.
"Ah," he thinks with relief "that could have been embarrassing"
The moment passes and he mops his brow with a polka dot hankie.
And thus...
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OFFL Cup
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Semi-Finals, to be played over Week 39
RS-TBOY v Inter Milandrover
Rick Beecroft Smasher
Dowds Farm Goblins v Moreton Rovers
Nick Borrett Edgar Rayner
Meanwhile, the Manager of the Week certificate goes to Stanley and Kate Wilson for skippering their Epic Yellowz to a chunky 11 points, boosting themselves up one place into Seventh. They are 34 points off the top. Couple of Winston Reid hat-tricks and they'll be right back in it.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.8 9 371
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.7 9 362
3 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.8 3 358
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 3 356
5 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 8 345
6 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.2 6 344
7 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.0 11 337
8 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 0 334
9 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.3 8 326
10 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 9 325
11 Moobchester United Jon King 54.7 3 321
12 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 3 320
13 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.2 -1 318
14 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 5 318
15 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 5 317
16 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.5 5 312
17 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.7 -5 312
18 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.0 9 309
19 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 54.9 8 295
20 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 5 289
21 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 2 284
22 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 1 283
23 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 53.9 -1 282
24 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.6 3 253
25 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.0 9 243
26 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 6 221
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 6 211
28 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 5 162
29 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 1 97
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 42.9 6 18
Week's Average Points 4.7
Total Average Points 287.4
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Pyeators
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From: Dave Clayton
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Mr Chairman Sir
Please may I have a last roll of the dice (about 5 weeks too late of course) and make the following changes please?
Out
284 Fonte
408 Mane
565 Zlatan Ibrathingibob
In
279 Bailly
368 Zaha
584 Kane
Many Thanks
Your well of the ball Pyeating manager Dave
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Chairman responds:
Is this a last ditch attempt at grasping for glory? Oh, yes, it is, you pretty much said that, didn't you. Right.
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