Week 36: OFFL Cup Quarter-Final Results

Mike Smears is only just in the Top Ten

Bit of a shuffle at the top this week with Dave Clayton's long-time leaders, Pyeators, slipping down yet another place in the League. Current leaders Neil's Diamonds continue for another week at the top with a increased lead of 7 points.  Bielby's Livercoolio fall to Fourth, a few steps away from the dream of winning a third OFFL title in four years.

Manager of the Week, distressingly for all of us, is the decrepitly aged and calculatingly cantankerous Mike Smears.  His Irishpool pulled in a dastardly brilliant 18 points to push themselves up seven places into Ninth. A walking stick's ferrule away from being outside the top ten.

Meanwhile...

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OFFL Cup
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QUARTER FINALS, RESULTS
Week 36

             RS-TBOY  7 v  6 Moobchester United
       Rick Beecroft         Jon King

    Starpratt Mustgo 10 v 11 Moreton Rovers
Malcolm Meaden-Pratt         Edgar Rayner
  
   Inter Milandrover 15 v  1 The Flying Geese
             Smasher         Mandy Noble

         Shutdown FC  9 v 12 Dowds Farm Goblins
            Sam Reed         Nick Borrett

Edgar Rayner mops his brow in relief as he and his Moreton Rovers cannot believe their luck.  They made it through to these quarter-finals by a Points per Pound decision after drawing with Guess Hughton and they've now made it through to the Semi-Finals after squeezing past Big Mally's enormous personality by one point.

Alas, the OFFL's attempted gender indifference has taken a bit of a knock with the last League Lady limping loo-wards with a loose lash lodged in an eyelid.  NOT crying. Indeed, Mandy Noble's Flying Geese loses out to Inter Milandrover's seemingly rudderless ship.

Meanwhile, Manboy Beeky von Beecroft also can't believe his luck as his RS-TBOY awkwardly push past the Moobs with one point to spare and eleven transfers spare to, surely, smooth the path to OFFL Cup glory.  Surely.  No, come on... SURELY.

You're all very lovely.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       54.8 14 362
 2 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.8 12 355
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.7 15 353
 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8  9 353
 5 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2  6 338
 6 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         55.0  1 337
 7 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0  7 334
 8 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0  4 326
 9 Irishpool            Mike Smears          54.2 18 319
10 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         53.3 11 318
11 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7  6 318
12 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        54.7 10 317
13 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         54.9  6 317
14 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        55.0  3 316
15 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 10 313
16 Big Girl's Blouses   Guy Harewood         54.6  7 312
17 Bourneslippy         Karyn Meaden-Pratt   54.5 13 307
18 Shutdown FC          Sam Reed             54.0  9 300
19 Toby's Gang          Toby Larking         54.9 12 287
20 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         54.6  8 284
21 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      53.9  9 283
22 Guess Hughton        Nick Reed            54.3 12 282
23 The Flying Geese     Mandy Noble          54.8  1 282
24 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward           54.6  8 250
25 It's A Snickers      Ashley Keeler        54.0 -2 234
26 Sheep City           Martyn Field         53.9 14 215
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          53.7 13 205
28 Moreton Rovers       Edgar Rayner         55.0 11 157
29 Ali McMoist          Ali Larking          46.8 -2  96
30 The Trumpeteers      Donald Trump         42.9  3  12


                        Week's Average Points        8.3
                        Total Average Points        282.7

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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Before Week 36 Deadline

Dowds Farm Goblins
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   From: Nick Borrett
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Hi Mr Chairman,

Time for change at Goblins HQ, seeing as the Liverpool-based Goblin has a wonky knee and the Sunderland-based Goblin has forgotten how to put the ball in the net.

Out
408 MF S Mane LIV 5.0 
577 ST J Defoe SUN 6.2

In
388 MF R Snodgrass HUL 3.5
544 ST R Lukaku EVE 7.6 

Thanks,

Nick

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Chairman responds:
These transfers just saw you through to the next round of the OFFL Cup.

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Irishpool
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   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

I warn you, Mr President, be on your guard. My friend Donald is furious with you and even as I speak he is loading some missiles to fire in your direction. His point is, why is he not Manager Of The Week? True, some other person selfishly won 36 points, but Donald’s team, Trumpeteers, had minus 5. And nowhere in your rules does it say that the team with the most points wins. His advisers had told him to aim for the least points. He tweeted today: ‘If this mann Larkino duzen sawt it owt, Ile get my loyers on to itt. Then if that duzen werk, I’ll fyre rocketts at himm.” 
So be warned.

I’m writing of course in my capacity of Deputy Manager of the Week (35 points for Irishpool).

Let me know if you need sanctuary,

Yours as ever

Brexit from Bassett.
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Chairman responds:
Thanks for the heads-up. I'll be sure to take my brolly out with me.

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