 |
| Clayton and Borrett sharing the Week's spoils |
Extending his lead at the top of the table from 1 point to 14 points, Dave Clayton is [joint] Manager of the Week after scoring 16 points with his Pyeators. He shares the certificate with Nick Borrett whose Dowds Farm Goblins climb three places to land in sixth.
Happy Birthday, by the way, for Tuesday for Mike Smears. Another uncountable year older, another telegram from the Queen.
What Ho! McHugh? Minus 4 points. Giggle. Everyone stare at him. Point. Laugh. He's down two places. [Is that all?]
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 16 149
2 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 3 135
3 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 6 134
4 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 7 133
5 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.8 10 125
6 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.3 16 123
7 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.9 7 122
8 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 7 119
9 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 15 118
10 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.6 11 116
12 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 8 110
13 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 53.7 14 109
14 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 5 109
15 Irishpool Mike Smears 53.7 3 106
16 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 5 105
17 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.7 6 104
18 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 4 104
19 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.9 8 101
20 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 5 100
21 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.9 11 97
22 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 3 92
23 Moobchester United Jon King 54.7 6 91
24 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.9 0 88
25 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 -4 84
26 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 3 79
27 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 2 56
28 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 0 50
29 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 46.1 2 13
Week's Average Points 6
Total Average Points 102
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Bourneslippy
-------------------
From: Karyn Meaden-Pratt
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Dear Mr Chairman Sir,
Hope all is well with you, the missus and the wee ones. I fear it may be time to kick out some more players and replace them with others with greater thirst for the game. However, I am a bit confused about the stats. For example, I have a player called Capoue who plays for Watford. According to my team stats this week, there is a 0 in both the Week and Total columns for him (indicating he is a bit sh!t and has been sh!t since the start of the season). However, when I look at the stats for the full list of potential players at the bottom of the email there is a 14 in the Total column for him (indicating he is not so shit). How so?! What am I misinterpreting? Please help!
(I see you have the same sh!t/not sh!t player. Good man!)
Xx
----------------------
Chairman responds:
You may have noticed in the Players List Thingy Sheet [http://j.mp/SelectYourTeam] that he scored all of those 14 points by the end of Week 6.
This lulled many under-performing managers into believing he was The Way Forward. A mini-flurry of Capoue-inspired transfers drifted up against the rather grandiose OFFL HQ doors leaving Mr Capoue with the impression that he had Arrived and therefore deserved a bit of a rest.
Your particular Capoue transfer IN was received in Week 8 meaning he began his ineffectual presence at the beginning of Week 9.
My heart goes out to you and all of those who were duped by this scam. A strongly worded letter to his agent, Martha Fischer, should probably do the trick. Or you could try BBC's Watchdog.
=============================
Irishpool
-------------------
From: Mike Smears
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject:
Esteemed Mr President
Most important: I have risen from my sickbed to set matters right. Please can you effect the following transfer:
IN
536 Vokes
OUT
567 Rashford.
I apologise for not being able to rise to my usual level of abuse, but I’m feeling too poorly. I will try try to rectify this when I next write.
Bedridden from Bassett
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Oof. I wondered why you hadn't popped up like an 11th November Poppy recently. And sure enough, having fought in both World Wars and the Crimean I knew you'd give us a sign that all is well.
Please stay well.
=============================
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