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| Russell Bielby has dropped his transfer trousers a little early this season |
In the City today, Markets have rallied after this week's early signs of stability have encouraged an increase in Player trading activity.
Indeed, our leader from last week is our leader this week. Absolutely Fabregas. Such consistency marks them out as an official Title Contender no doubt, leaving others to work out a strategy to keep up. And when we say 'others' we exclude Mike Smears and his Irishpool who signal their ascendency by swiping the Manager of the Week certificate. A score of 22 points see them hobble into twenty-third.
No, when we say 'others' we mean people like Russell Bielby. He has just called in sick for work after injuring his fingers while panic-typing his latest knee-jerk reaction transfer requests.
Who else is dropping their transfer trousers a little early this season?
Transfer Trouser Dropping Table
Tot TransfersPos Team Manager Pts Remaining
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19 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 47 5
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 72 7
24 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 42 7
14 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54 9
20 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 46 9
7 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 64 10
4 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 69 11
8 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 63 11
There's 'Tinkering' and there's 'Admitting You've Made A TSB' [team selection ballzup]. We think we can tell which of the above fall into which category.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 54.8 13 76
2 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 13 73
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 10 72
4 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 17 69
5 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.8 17 68
6 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 17 65
7 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 55.0 4 64
8 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.6 4 63
9 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 16 61
10 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.4 6 59
11 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 19 56
12 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 5 56
13 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 55.0 9 55
14 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.6 10 54
15 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 9 53
16 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.7 14 52
17 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.1 6 48
18 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.9 1 48
19 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 10 47
20 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.9 0 46
21 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 6 46
22 Moobchester United Jon King 54.4 7 45
23 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.8 22 44
24 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.4 7 42
25 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 7 31
26 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 7 25
27 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 13 24
28 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 3 14
29 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 46.1 -1 2
Week's Average Points 9
Total Average Points 50
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Dowds Farm Goblins
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From: Nick Borrett
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: to studmarks
Evening Chairman,
A couple of early changes for me please.
Out - Pogba 621
Out - Adam 455
In - Sterling 421
In - Milner 409
Danke schön,
Nick Borrett
Dowds Farm Goblins' Head Coach
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Chairman responds:
Sensible and efficient. How very Germanic.
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Pyeators
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From: Dave Clayton
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Panic Transfers
Mr Chairman Sir
After what can only be described as a dismal August and not much better September I am hitting the big red panic button.......
Out 340 Boyd - In 494 Capoue
Out 605 Wijnaldum - In 402 Coutinho
Out 563 J Rhodes - In 577 J Defoe
Thank you kindly in advance for the lack of abuse to be received!
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Chairman responds:
In advance? For the lack of abuse? Lack?!
I'll have you know that my Umpa Lumpa's have all been happily chuckling away ever since they were first told that you had freely chosen J Rhodes as a striker. They are currently just as unwilling to believe that Donald Trump could actually and really genuinely become the actual and really genuine President of the United States of America.
Hey, you just keep providing us with the material. I am informed it helps the morale here.
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Inter Milandrover
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From: Smasher
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Wholesale
OUT
133 GK J Butland STO £3.5
616 MF G Ramirez MID £3.6
339 MF S Arfield BUR £3.3
412 MF K De Bruyne MC £6.5
566 ST A Martial MU £7.0
IN
101 GK Cech ARS
388 MF Snodgrass HUL
494 MF Capoue WAT
421 MF Sterling MC
523 ST Sanchez ARS
Forced into this by three injuries and two under-achievers.
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Chairman responds:
Worrying times indeed for Third Place in the League. That was sarcasm.
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Livercoolio
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From: Russell Bielby
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: LIVERCOOLIO TRANSFERS PLEASE
Dear Mr Chairman,
No idea what I am doing with these changes…
OUT
FB 210 G Johnson FB STO £3.7 0
FB 220 D Rose FB TOT £4.4 0
MF 397 R Mahrez MF LEI £5.6 3
MF 483 E Dier MF TOT £3.8 0
ST 565 Z Ibrahimovic ST MU £8.0 3
IN
FB 222 K Walker FB TOT £4.3 2
FB 174 S Coleman FB EVE £4.2 0
MF 406 A Lallana MF LIV £4.4 5
MF 421 R Sterling MF MC £4.8 2
ST 523 A Sanchez ST ARS £7.6 0
As you can see…
Russ Flopp (I mean Klopp) ;)
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Chairman responds:
That's 7 transfers used up after Week 7. Saving the rest for the January transfer window? That seems a long way off, doesn't it?
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