Week 05: Dodgy tash and a funny salute

The genius behind England's majestic dominance of footballing giants Slovakia.

While Big Sam Allardyce has cruelly reminded us of why his application for the job of England manager was rejected last time around, we are also reminded that the Office Fantasy Football League can be a cruel place too. As soon as the aroma of hope wafts itself up some poor unsuspecting manager's nostrils, that manager gets given the foul-stenching, full-nappied baby of despair to hold and drop.

Big Sam: Dodgy tash and
a funny salute?

Now, while Studmarks would love you all to write in and suggest how the above metaphor should be graciously side-stepped and forgotten, we would also like to slip back into frame the point we were trying to make. And that point is Moobchester United.

The former League leaders have been mercilessly knocked off the top by losing 5 points this week and collapsing fifteen places down the table into sixteenth.  Unprecedented.  Deserves a certificate of some sort in itself.

And it isn't even manager Jon King who has presided over the worst score of the week at that. It should be noted that the worst scorers of the week, and dropping ten places in the process, are Edgar Rayner's Moreton Rovers with a week's loss of 6 points.

Manager of the Week is Rick Beecroft - his RS-TBOY netted a marvellous 18 points elevating themselves up fourteen places into sixth, perhaps justifying his early transfer.  Perhaps.  But probably not.

So we congratulate Alex Blundell for steering his Moanchester United past a consistent second-placed Johnny's Heroes into pole position on the grid for Week 6.  And we commiserate with Ali Larking whose Perfect Man-inspired team selection is still failing to intimidate her husband by resting in second-from-last last place.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        54.9 14  51
 2 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         54.6 12  50
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.9 10  45
 4 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         55.0 16  43
 5 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         54.9 13  41
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        55.0 18  41
 7 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      55.0 17  40
 8 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.8 10  39
 9 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward           55.0  3  39
10 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.1  7  38
11 Shutdown FC          Sam Reed             54.4 15  38
12 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       55.0 12  38
13 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       55.0  9  37
14 Toby's Gang          Toby Larking         55.0  7  37
15 Guess Hughton        Nick Reed            54.3  7  36
16 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.4 -5  36
17 It's A Snickers      Ashley Keeler        54.9 10  35
18 Absolutely Fabregas  Sarah Bingham        54.8 14  34
19 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         54.6  8  32
20 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         52.4  8  31
21 Bourneslippy         Karyn Meaden-Pratt   54.7  5  26
22 Big Girl's Blouses   Guy Harewood         54.6  1  25
23 Starpratt Mustgo     Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 12  22
24 Moreton Rovers       Edgar Rayner         55.0 -6  20
25 Sheep City           Martyn Field         53.9 13  18
26 Ali McMoist          Ali Larking          46.8  0  13
27 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          46.1  0   3


                        Week's Average Points          8
                        Total Average Points          33
---