Week 40: Poor Guy

Poor Guy (far left)

You can stop banging on about it now. Yes, you know who you are.... You've won it. You were underdogs. Nobody expected it. We get it. 

Now belt up, pipe down, pack it in and leave it out.

It also means that everyone else is struggling to find something meaningful to get excited about for the end of the season. And that's the remit we've accepted for this edition of Studmarks. Let's give it a try, shall we?

7 points separate Fourth from Seventh meaning that that Fourth place is up for grabs. And can Eleventh-placed Ali McMoist slide themselves into the top ten? And if so, at whose expense? Edgar Rayner's? Neil McConaghy's? And is Karyn Meaden going to hold on to that Twentieth place, while Alex Blundell is seedily breathing down her beautifully-formed and Mallyable neck.

Oh yes, there's Guy Harewood, look... picking up his Manager of the Week certificate for steering his Com-a ma mau papas to a score of 12 points this week. Oh, hang on, there's no need for that... he's looked down at the unimpressed audience, who really aren't paying much attention, and has let the certificate drop to the floor. Exit stage left.

Poor guy that Guy. Even he knows that to overhaul Ms Minty's Minty's Minions' mighty lead of 41 points - in one week with a quarter of his line-up being the same as hers - is probably not going to happen. Unless most of his different players score a hatrick each.

Could happen.

It won't.

Cheer yourself up, Mr Harewood, by looking forward to the glamour and glitz of the...

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OFFL Cup
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FINAL, in play.

        Inter Milandrover  v  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher     Rick Beecroft

The two finalists share 3 players: Smalling, Barkley and Mahrez. The difference will therefore come from the following...

Inter MilandroverClub  Value  RS-TBOY           ClubValue

----------------------------  ----------------------------
138 GK P Cech    ARS    4.2   121 GK J Hart     MC    4.3
243 FB C Fuchs   LEI    3.5   226 FB N Clyne    LIV   4.1
229 FB B IvanovicCHE    5.0   280 FB A Kolarov  MC    4.6
356 CB T AlderweiTOT    4.2   331 CB S Dann     CP    3.7
555 MF R Firmino LIV    4.8   575 MF M Ozil     ARS   5.5
558 MF D Payet   WH     4.0   812 MF D Alli     TOT   3.5
684 ST S Aguero  MC     8.4   603 ST H Kane     TOT   7.4
719 ST R Lukaku  EVE    6.8   614 ST J Vardy    LEI   5.6

Anyone's bet this one. Recent form has RS-TBOY in the ascendancy. Maybe.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 52.4  8 437
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 12 396
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  7 389
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0  5 377
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  4 375
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  4 374
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  1 370
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 11 345
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  8 337
10 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  3 334

Week 39: She Thought Her Position Was Secure

This what happens when you make your kit out of velcro

Bad Wolf United's Third From Bottom position is at risk! Both Moanchester United and It's A Snickers scored healthily this week, 13 and 14 points respectively, while Karyn's bad, bad, Bad Wolves only managed a measly 4.  We say again... Bad Wolf United's Third From Bottom position is at risk!

With no such worries are Nick Reed and Craig McHugh.  These two louche gentlemen are sharing this week's Manager of the Week certificate with a week's haul of 17 points.  This pushes Guess Hughton 2 points from getting in to the top five while Craig Guess McHughton's Real Mcdrid is now 2 points from the top ten.

Don't look at Rick Beecroft's OFFL Cup Finalists, RS-TBOY.  He'll think you're looking at his -6.

Oh yeah, Leicester City won the Premiership.  Like Minty's Minions, Leicester City were 5000-1 to win the OFFL League at the start of the season.

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OFFL Cup
--------
FINAL, to be played in Week 41

        Inter Milandrover  v  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher     Rick Beecroft

These two teams share 3 players: Smalling, Barkley and Mahrez.  The difference will therefore come from the following...

Inter MilandroverClub  Value  RS-TBOY           ClubValue
----------------------------  ----------------------------
138 GK P Cech    ARS    4.2   121 GK J Hart     MC    4.3
243 FB C Fuchs   LEI    3.5   226 FB N Clyne    LIV   4.1
229 FB B IvanovicCHE    5.0   280 FB A Kolarov  MC    4.6
356 CB T AlderweiTOT    4.2   331 CB S Dann     CP    3.7
555 MF R Firmino LIV    4.8   575 MF M Ozil     ARS   5.5
558 MF D Payet   WH     4.0   812 MF D Alli     TOT   3.5
684 ST S Aguero  MC     8.4   603 ST H Kane     TOT   7.4
719 ST R Lukaku  EVE    6.8   614 ST J Vardy    LEI   5.6

To the victor, the book!

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T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6  5 429
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  5 384
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  5 382
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0 -2 372
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  7 371
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 17 370
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  5 369
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 -6 334
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 14 331
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  0 329

Week 38: OFFL Cup Semi-Finals Results

Craig McHugh: closer to Ashley's Bottom than Minty's Top

We, here at Studmarks, are sure you'd agree that it's got to the point, really it has, where this is all becoming just a little bit boring.

Tedious.

A little bit monotonous, in fact.  A fantasy footballing farce.

So here it is: Minty Colquhoun wins the Manager of the Week certificate this week with a large, large, large score of 35 points.  Her Minions have now passed the 400 point mark in the table which leaves them sitting everso Leicester-like and pretty at the top of the table.

Ooh, Look! At the other extremity of the table...  something seems to have woken up Ashley Keeler and his It's A Snickers this week.

Also worthy of note is Craig McHugh's Real Mcdrid.  Not only is their 30 point score the second largest this week but they're also the last team to have a points tally that is closer to the leaders than it is the bottomers.

Did we say that was worthy of note?

Yes, we did.

We were wrong.

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OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, RESULTS

Radnorshire Tigers 17 v 26   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                           Smasher

RS-TBOY            29 v 24  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                         Jon King

So we have a FINAL.  Rick Beecroft's RS-TBOY will take on Smasher's Inter Milandrover.

Commiserations to Alun Edwards and Jon King - particularly to Jon who is a moobingly massive Man U maniac and really, desperately, almost pleadingly wanted the biography on the next ex-manager of Manchester United*.

*There is no evidence to suggest that Mr King actually wants that book at all.  Though we're sure he wouldn't say no.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6 35 424
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 27 379
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 26 377
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0 25 374
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 26 364
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 24 364
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 353
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 29 340
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 22 329
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 22 326

Week 37: Arise Lady Karyn

Karyn Meaden: third from bottom

SHE'S DONE IT!

After languishing at the base of the League Table for so long, Karyn Deborah Meaden has finally hoofed herself up to the lofty position of third [from bottom].

While Karyn's Bad Wolf United's score of 9 was enough to leapfrog the backwards-moving Moanchester United it was not enough to clinch a Manager of the Week certificate.  That honour is shared between Guy Harewood and Neil McConaghy.  Guy's Com-a mawhatsit and Neil's Diamonds both scored 18 points.  This has lifted both teams in the League, Guy into second and Neil into ninth.

And talking of Second Place, only 14 points separate seventh from second.

Meanwhile, the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup have commenced.  The OFFL Cup Winner will receive a biography of a Dutch manager who has been favourite for the sack all season - Louis Van Goaaaal.

But which teams are embarrassing themselves with their unashamed clamouring for it?

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OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 13 389
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 18 352
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 13 351
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  4 349
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 10 340
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 12 340
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 12 338
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7 12 311
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 18 307
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 13 304

Week 36: Cup Semi Finals Draw

Bad Wolf's Karyn is 'knocking' on Moanchester Utd's place

Manager of the Week this week is Alison Faulkner whose Ali McMoist scored an impressive 19 points to help themselves climb up three places and into the top ten in the table.

Falling furthest this week is Inter Milandrover, down four places from third into seventh.

And another healthy score from Bad Wolf United, we see. Now knocking on Moanchester Utd's twentieth place.  Fancy.

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OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King

Get your transfers in soon, no - NOW.

Transfers Remaining:
--------------------
Moobchester United 6
RS-TBOY            2
Radnorshire Tigers 0
Inter Milandrover  0

You may now get on with your week.  If you can stand the excitement.

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T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6  7 376
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  8 345
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 15 338
 4 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 11 334
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 330
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 16 328
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.6  3 326
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  6 299
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 19 291
10 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    51.2 15 291