Week 03: Early Jostle

Jostle

It's that early jostle for position that we so love each season that sees Dave 'Second Place' Clayton upwardly pushing himself further away from Second Place.  His Pyeators not only earn him his second consecutive Manager of the Week Certificate [for scoring 67 points] but they have also consolidated an already impressive lead.  Is it too early to consider this side to be Champions Elect?

Well, yes it is, actually, so if you're doing that then you should probably stop it.  You can certainly count on current Champions, and thirdly placed, Neil's Diamonds to not let Pyeators have an easy ride of it that's for sure.

You're all lovely.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 67  178
 2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.4 54  156
 3 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 54  152
 4 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 56  144
 5 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.9 52  141
 6 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 48.2 49  136
 7 Suits You Sur-man    Sarah Bingham        49.3 46  135
 8 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 52  132
 9 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       49.6 54  126
10 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         47.7 61  121

Week 02: Panic Pogging

You lift your left leg up...

We, here at Studmarks, are suffering from Second Week Malaise Syndrome.  You've probably heard of it, we suspect.  There's been a nasty bout of it going around.

So here we go...

Manager of the Week is Dave 'Second Place' Clayton.  Indeed, Dave's Pyeators scored 61 points this week and while in the old days that would have been e-nor-mungus, we're still not quite sure how very big that really is, are we?

The bigger news is, perhaps, that we have our first transfer submission.  Dr Nick 'Hair Trigger' Reed has broken the seal on the OFFL transfer market by PANIC-REMOVING Pogba from his Pogboom, which can't be right, can it?  Surely the only reason behind Pogboom's very existence is Monsieur Pogba's presence, non? And how many other nervous managers will follow?  All 7?

Terrible situation.

In the meantime, here's our current Top FOUR Favourite Players...
---------------------------
PIN NAME     TEAM £M  TEAMS
---------------------------
196 Alonso, M CHE 4.3  13
606 Lukaku, R MUN 6.6  12
443 Salah, M  LIV 4.5  11
627 Kane, H   TOT 7.0   9

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 61  111
 2 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.4 53  102
 3 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 52   98
 4 Suits You Sur-man    Sarah Bingham        49.3 57   89
 5 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.9 46   89
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 35   88
 7 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 48.2 52   87
 8 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 35   80
 9 RockRollford United  Edgar Rayner         48.0 46   76
10 Wardy's Wasters      Gavin Ward           49.4 36   76

Week 01: Go, Go, Go.

Well, how does it feel?  Bit unnerving isn't it?  So many points for just one week's worth of work?  New point system that, isn't it?

Manager of the Week is, of course, Rick Beecroft thanks to his RS-TBOY netting him a good-looking 53 points.

Perennial Runner Up, Dave Clayton, is already occupying his second place spot while current Champions, Neil's Diamonds, have made an adequate start in the defence of manager McConaghy's Title.

But this is Week 1, don't forget.  And it is a marathon and it isn't a sprint.

SSH!

That's right.  You heard it.  A MARATHON.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 53    53
 2 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 50    50
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.4 49    49
 4 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 46    46
 5 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 45    45
 6 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.9 43    43
 7 Wardy's Wasters      Gavin Ward           49.4 40    40
 8 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 48.2 35    35
 9 Moobchester United   Jon King             49.9 34    34
10 Ali McMoist          Alison Faulkner      49.3 33    33

Slowly, Slowly, Footie Starty

Slowly, slowly, footie starty.

With eight days and two hours to go before the next Premiership game, we are already receiving teams from across the realm and it's good to see some familiar faces.

2013's OFFL Cup Winning Manager Gavin Ward is back with Wardy's Wasters while 2005/2006 League Championship winning manager Guy Harewood is also back with his marvellously monikered Bayern Bru.

Game Of Throw Ins are back too with the 2006/2007 League Runner Up Craig McHugh at the helm as is the more recent League Champion of 2015/2016, Minty Colquhoun - she's back with her Minions.  And, of course, we have 1996's League Winners Sheep City.  Martyn Field's woolly wallies are back with fluffy avengeance and out for a return to the glory days of ancient times.

Good luck with that.

Keep them coming people, keep 'em coming.

http://j.mp/SelectYourTeam

Do What?

Marathon though, yeah?

Our Most Gracious Chairman hasn't got where he is today without the canny ability to re-invent.

He may look like an aged traditionalist in his tweed waistcoat, spinning bow-tie and flat cap.  And as you look at Him now, shaking your head in weary resignation, He precariously lifts, shifts and leans a bulbous buttock upon a worryingly creaky hunting stick, audibly protesting the upholding of his corporeal volume.  You simply can't quite believe that he's changing everything.

What do we mean by that?

The rules.  That's what we mean.

Eh?

What?  Them things what we 'av been 'avvin to adhere to for the past 20 odd years?

Yes, them things.

GONE are Full Backs and Centre Backs.
GONE are simple 3, 2, 1, -1 point scoring values.

Please mop that perspiration from your crinkled brow, it doesn't suit you.

For this season we shall be having "Defenders".  Not Full Backs and Centre Backs.  And you'll need four of them.

Thanks to Brexit, a hard Brexit at that, OMG Chairman has relented and reduced the prices of the players in general, a short-sighted global economic policy you'll agree, but there we have it, it's not real money and we'll do anything to distract ourselves away from the real world of rising prices, reduced opportunity and meaningless soundbites.  The world is a little less gloomy because we say it is.

So you have £50 million.  Points are awarded for appearances, clean sheets, penalty saves and goals while points are taken away for red cards, penalty misses and own goals.  It's all in the Rules if you care to have a browse.  But don't worry, The Chairman Is [Still] Always Right.

Use the new modified SelectYourTeam spreadsheet to help you, um, select your team.  Don't forget to give it an hilariously clever name.  You'll be judged harshly if you don't.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that.

Isn't it?

We start scoring after the international break.

GO!