Gavin Ward and Alun Edwards are the Managers of the Week this week helping their respective Seb Blattered Cod and Radnorshire Tigers through to the next round of the OFFL Cup. Congratulations both. 18 points each.
But, yes, what of the cup? Any Oxford/Swansea-type shocks?
Well YES as it happens...
Runaway League Leaders, Minty's Minions CRASH OUT of the OFFL Cup after two weeks' worth of scores. Minty Colquhoun will not be Doing The Double with her Minions this season in spite of being over 30 points ahead of the chasing pack in the League table. Minty's miserly score of 5 meagre points last week was only enough to finish 2nd from bottom of Group A, which means She and her wannabe-Champions are OUT.
Oh Yoo Tee spells OUT.
Not through. Not qualified. Exited. You are naturally inconsolable. We know you had your heart set on that Louis Van Goal biography.
But what of the rest of you?
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OFFL Cup
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First Round Group Stage Results
Group A Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
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Which Team 53.3 21 13 34
Seb Blattered Cod 52.0 15 18 33
The Flying Geese 53.9 16 10 26
Moobchester United 54.9 19 7 26
Minty's Minions 51.5 17 5 22 Out
It's a Snickers FC 51.7 10 10 20 Out
Group B Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
Radnorshire Tigers 50.7 20 18 38
Livercoolio 54.7 14 13 27
Moreton Rovers 54.6 15 9 24
Pyeators 53.7 15 3 18
Bad Wolf United 54.1 4 9 13 Out
Irishpool 50.3 5 7 12 Out
Group C Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
Guess Hughton 53.9 28 15 43
Old Malcolm Academicals 54.8 19 12 31
Inter Milandrover 54.8 17 10 27
Oak Hamsters 51.6 13 8 21
Real Mcdrid 51.5 11 5 16 Out
Group D Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
Neil's Diamonds 53.2 32 8 40
RS-TBOY 51.4 25 10 35
Ali McMoist 51.1 25 9 34
Moanchester United 54.9 20 12 32
Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau 53.5 9 6 15 Out
So there you have it, commiserations to Guy 'Bird is the Word' Harewood, Craig 'Zizou' McHugh, Mike 'Rantathlete' Smears, Karyn 'Prattwoman' Meaden*, Ashley 'Not Again' Keeler and Minty 'What How Come' Colquhoun. Take comfort from the fact that you're not alone in your total failure to lift the Cup this season. You can be failures together.
*Congratulations, however, for hitching yourself to manager of Old Malcolm Academicals, Malcolm Pratt, Mrs Pratt.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 51.5 5 232
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.8 10 201
3 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 51.4 10 195
4 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.7 13 191
5 Moobchester United Jon King 54.9 7 189
6 Pyeators Dave Clayton 53.7 3 188
7 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 53.9 15 183
8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood 53.5 6 178
9 Seb Blattered Cod Gavin Ward 52.0 18 177
10 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.2 8 175
11 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 50.7 18 163
12 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 12 161
13 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 54.6 9 158
14 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.3 13 153
15 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 51.1 9 152
16 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 53.9 10 148
17 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 51.5 5 146
18 Oak Hamsters Steve Tierney 51.6 8 146
19 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 12 127
20 Irishpool Mike Smears 50.3 7 122
21 It's a Snickers FC Ashley Keeler 51.7 10 98
22 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.1 9 67
Week's Average Points 9
Total Average Points 161
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
RS-TBOY
-------------------
From: Rick Beecroft
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Merry New Year chief, hope you had a good one
Sub time
OUT
492 MF J Milner LIV 4.2
IN
575 MF M Ozil ARS 5.5
Kind Regards
Rick
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfer complete. Not really interesting to note: you still wouldn't be top if you'd had Ozil from the beginning of the season.
=============================
Which Team
-------------------
From: Rachel Jones
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Rayner.. only 9 behind you now!!!
With best regards,
Rachel Jones
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Bants.
=============================
Minty's Minions
-------------------
From: Minty Colquhoun
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
I know this is tempting fate, especially as I'm top of the league and yet know nothing about football . . . but can I have Jordan Graham from Wolves on my team please? I understand from my recent sojourn in the West Midlands that they beat Brighton 1 - 0 (away) which seemed to excite the entire household!
Lovely.
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Congratulations, you win Star Email of the Week.
=============================
Flying Geese
-------------------
From: Mandy Noble
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Happy New Year!!!
Please could I make some transfers for my very sorry state of a team.
OUT – CB - Jagielka – 338 – CHE
IN – CB - SMALLING – 342 – MU
OUT – FB – HAZARD – 517 – CHE
IN – FB – OZEL – 375 – ARS
OUT – ST – BERAHINO – 736 – WBA
IN – ST – VARDY – 614 – LEICS
OUT – FB – CLYNE – 226 – LIV
IN – FB – KOLAROV – 280 – MC
Ta very much!
Mandy
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfer Complete. It still looks like your team is Puncheon above its weight.
=============================
Pyeators
-------------------
From: Dave Clayton
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Dear Mr Chairman Sir, Happy New Year to you and your Umperlumpers!
New Year, new squad (well almost)! The transfer window is open and so is your wallet!
Out 228 Coleman in 245 Azpilicueta
Out 336 Kompany In 396 Vertongen
Out 465 Mane In 836 De Bruyne
Out 417 Redmond in 575 Ozil
Out 473 Depay In 558 Payet
Many Thanks
Dave Pyeating Clayton
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfers Complete. You now have just the two transfers remaining. Happy New Year to you too. Two remaining. Two.
=============================
In an office far, far away.... it was lunch time
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