Week 04: Formal Apology

After the publication of last week's Studmarks, social media has been aflame with criticism of The OFFL and, in particular, OMG Chairman.  The pressure has been so intense for an apology to be issued that the Chairman called us after a mysterious prang in his little silver Nissan Micra to request that we publish the following statement

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Dear OFFL Public 

It has come to my attention that Week 3's edition of Studmarks may have caused offence and annoyance. 

It was never our intention to imply that Norbert Dentressangle is guilty of smuggling Asylum Seekers illegally into a country that is so openly unsympathetic to the needs of such desperate human beings. This will not happen again. 

We hope you find this free online voucher code for Shamazon.con satisfactory compensation for the ordeal you have suffered.  Redeem at checkout. 

Yours sincerely, The OFFL Chairman

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Pressure was applied to the Chairman

And there you have it.  Hopefully sincere enough to avoid any further dirtiness.

In the meantime, Manager of the Week this week is Alun Edwards.  Alun's Radnorshire Tigers scored an impressive 18 points earning him the much-coveted Manager of the Week certificate.

It's in the post, Alun.  And you've climbed eight places in the League.

Worthy of note is The First Transfer Of The Season Award which mockingly goes to Dave Clayton - mind you, one little look at his original team line-up and you're beginning to feel a lot of sympathy for him.

Oh and yes, MUST mention before we go... Current OFFL Champion Russ Bielby's weekly score... just saying and that, innit.  A subsequent fall of seven places has been experienced.

Marvellous stuff everyone, keep it up do.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  5  32
 2 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 10  30
 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.9 13  28
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       54.6 14  27
 5 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3 18  26
 6 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 10  23
 7 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9  7  22
 8 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  4  22
 9 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9 10  20
10 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 10  19
11 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  9  19
12 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    54.7  2  16
13 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 10  13
14 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  9  13
15 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  4  12
16 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  55.0 -1  10
17 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  9   9
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4  9   9
19 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  6   6
20 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  3   3
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  6   2


                              Week's Average Points     7
                              Total Average Points     17


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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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Irishpool
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   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Esteemed Señor presidente!

Yeah, I’m back. I hope your summer was good -ours was pretty fine, weather a bit too good for once. But when it was too hot for touring it meant I had leisure hours to think up my new team.

Sadly at 99 years old, I am finding the challenge of websites, excel and tables defeats me. So may I humbly ask your assistance to load my selections up, please?  

[Team Supplied]

I’m sorry I don’t have time for a rant just now but I’ll see if I can manage one the next week!

Thanks very much indeed for setting all this up and organising it. Hours of harmless pleasure lie ahead.  

With all very good wishes to you and family

Mike

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Chairman responds:
Glad you could join us, Sir.  The OFFL isn't quite the same without your regular venting of outrage.  I'm glad you enjoy it.

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Guess Houghton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Hi Mr Chairman,

Was perusing my no-hopers and noticed that I have somehow gained Pedro in a cheeky 4-5-1 formation. Given his performance this week, I'm quite happy with that, however, I think on balance I'd prefer Costa in the regular 4-4-2...

Thanks Mr Chairman!

Nick

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Chairman responds:
Nothing to see here. Move along.

[MUFFLED SOUNDS OF A STRUGGLE INVOLVING BARE HANDS AND AN UMPA LUMPA'S THROAT]

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Nick responds:
Good discipline Mr Chairman, keep it up...

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Pyeators
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   From: Dave Clayton
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

PANIC PANIC PANIC !!!

Good evening Mr Chairman sir, changes must be made at this stupidly early time of the season i'm afraid......

205 Francis out - 270 Darmian in
304 Terry out - 336 Kompany in
420 Adam out - 558 Payet in
506 Walcott out - 417 Redmond in

Many thanks and big love! 

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Chairman responds:
Well, I can understand it.  But well, really! Are four weeks truly long enough to evaluate a player's point-scoring credentials?  In your case, I suppose it is.


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