 |
| Championship-winning manager of yore, Guy Harewood, desperate to get into the OFFL for a better life |
Clambering over the ineffective razor wire, for example, is Guy Harewood, a Championship-winning manager of yore who currently manages trees from his armchair in Tillicoultry.
Scrambling under the pulled-up bottom of a chain link fence and disappearing into the darkness of freedom is Rachel Jones too, as she herds her 11 illegals into this most giving of Leagues.
And look! Hurtling westward along the M20, nestling uncomfortably amongst the latest shipment of boxed TVs in the back of one of Norbert Dentressangle's finest assets is the Family Wilson - desperately clutching their pre-filled Housing Benefit forms.
And over there, clogging up that NHS queue, Malcolm Pratt is shiftily looking to steal that rather tempting hospital bed from under the noses of that efficient and eagled-eyed Health Trust middle management.
And finally, stealing one of our jobs in the Sweatshop, Sexslave & Domestic Cleaners industry is Ashley Keeler, returning to the OFFL highways and byways for another season of hopeless street-walking.
And the Chairman himself returning from another foreign scouting mission, swooping into Gatwick or Heathrow, from over the rolling hills and the open-spaced patchwork of greens that make up the South East of England - How could he possibly blurt out that OFFL Land 'DOESN'T HAVE ANY MORE ROOM!'? Or that 'WE'RE FULL UP!'?
Because it simply isn't true.
So, come on you. Come on in. You're welcome. Wherever you're from. Have a cup of tea.
Biscuit?
Right, now bloody get on with it and Select Your Team.
Manager of the Week is Minty Colquhoun again, her Minions scored 20 points for her team. She's now a healthy second - just under the bulging biceps of our leader, Neil McConaghy and his Neil's Diamonds.
Anyone tempted to make a transfer yet?
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T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.7 10 27
2 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.0 20 20
3 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 54.9 9 18
4 Pyeators Dave Clayton 51.4 4 15
5 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 54.9 15 15
6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood 54.7 14 14
7 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 52.2 10 13
8 Seb Blattered Cod Gavin Ward 54.3 13 13
9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 11 11
10 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 51.3 4 10
11 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 10 10
12 Moobchester United Jon King 54.6 9 9
13 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.3 -1 8
14 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.8 1 8
15 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 4 4
16 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 51.1 -3 3
17 It's a Snickers FC Ashley Keeler 49.6 6 0
18 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 52.6 21 0
19 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.3 10 0
20 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 53.9 14 0
Week's Average Points 9
Total Average Points 9
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Studmarks: OFFL Week 03
Read in Courier/Courier New 10pt font.
S T U D M A R K S
---------------------------------------------------------
The Office Fantasy Football League 2015/2016
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Week 03
(Week ending 23rd August)
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.7 10 27
2 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.0 20 20
3 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 54.9 9 18
4 Pyeators Dave Clayton 51.4 4 15
5 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 54.9 15 15
6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood 54.7 14 14
7 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 52.2 10 13
8 Seb Blattered Cod Gavin Ward 54.3 13 13
9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 11 11
10 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 51.3 4 10
11 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 10 10
12 Moobchester United Jon King 54.6 9 9
13 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.3 -1 8
14 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.8 1 8
15 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 4 4
16 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 51.1 -3 3
17 It's a Snickers FC Ashley Keeler 49.6 6 0
18 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 52.6 21 0
19 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.3 10 0
20 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 53.9 14 0
Week's Average Points 9
Total Average Points 9
-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
Real Mcdrid
-------------------
From: Craig McHugh
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Late again boy....!!!!
Morning sir
Hope you are well and life is fab and down right groovy at la maison Chair?
As usual i’m keeping up with tradition and allowing everyone a head start before i make a late race for the title. Attached are my specially selected bunch, which i’m sure will do me proud. 'Every little helps' - Tesco. Our sponsor for this year…
All the best, over and out :-)
----------------------
Chairman responds:
As I may have intimated earlier, we're a Lidl crowd around here. You posho.
=============================
Which Team
-------------------
From: Rachel Jones
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Afternoon..
#It’s taken me a while to get Which Team off the ground again.. but here it is..
[Team Enclosed]
Expect to be at the top next week!! NOT
With best regards,
Rachel Jones
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Get your Siemens technology all over that.
=============================
Flying Geese
-------------------
From: Mandy Noble
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject:
Hi, am I too late to join in?
----------------------
Chairman responds:
You're late, yes. But not too late. Especially if you can stop those pesky Bielbys from achieving any sort of success this season.
=============================
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