 |
| The Chairman, fighting injustice with his old cellmates |
These are the first results - due to popular demand [splutter].
While we did explain that we would start scoring after the second week it has become clear that those who have bothered entering on time deserve a little more 'Service'.
Hence the published table.
While others are waiting to see how the first couple of weeks shape up before committing to their eleven, those brave few were being penalised - well, those who start off with a minus score are at any rate. In past seasons, it was possible, in theory, for some latecomer to enter exactly the same team as an 'On-timer' and be above them in the league merely by choosing their team late.
OMG Chairman says "No!" to this injustice. Therefore, the OFFL Umpa-Lumpas have been instructed to automatically resubmit any team with a minus score so far. And to CONTINUE scoring.
We refer any naysayers [to be fair, they won't be getting this] to the section of this email marked RULES. Particularly the bit about the Chairman being right all the time.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.9 2 2
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.1 1 1
3 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.3 1 1
4 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.7 1 1
5 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 54.9 1 1
6 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 0 0
7 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 54.6 -1 -1
8 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.8 -1 -1
9 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 -2 -2
10 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.9 -3 -3
11 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.6 -4 -4
Week's Average Points -1
Total Average Points -1
-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
=============================
Old Malcolm Academicals
-------------------
From: Malcolm Pratt
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Hi Chair,
New name Old Malcolm Academicals
Here we are again!!!
M
[Team Enclosed]
----------------------
Chairman responds:
And you, Sir, are always welcome. Expecially if you promise to snatch Defeat away from Victory again, like you did last season.
=============================
Neil's Diamonds
-------------------
From: Neil McConaghy
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Team selected in record time I think (see attached). Thanking you as always for what will be a marvellous OFFL season I'm sure.
Neil's Diamonds
----------------------
Chairman responds:
*Flaps embarrassed hand in Neil's direction* oh doppit, you silly.
=============================
Radnorshire Tigers
-------------------
From: Alun Edwards
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Loved reading the blog, really made me laugh out loud.
I have to run from the country (something about renewed allegations of my involvement in grass-roots on behalf of FIFA), so I would miss your deadline if I don?t post this now. The fees will be left in a brown envelope in the usual place ? I am sure you remember where!
Team Name: Radnorshire Tigers
Cheers Ally
[Team Enclosed]
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Brown Envelope? Isn't he an alleged associate of Chuck Blazer?
=============================
Neil's Diamonds
-------------------
From: Neil McConaghy
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Plenty of time. You could even submit your entire team again and lose only a point.
=============================
Guess Hughton
-------------------
From: Nick Reed
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Boom!
Something to enjoy between my radio appearances?
Much love
N
[Team Enclosed]
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Brighton and Hove Albion inspiring you to yet another top Team Name I see. They never fail you. Well, not in that way at any rate. We look forward to the ukulele follow up to your hit 'Stay Poyet Stay'.
=============================
RS-TBOY
-------------------
From: Richard Beecroft
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject:
Sir [Chairman],
As our local butchers says ‘Please to meet you, meat to please you!’. Hope all is well mate, please herewith findus my teamus. I’m away next week so going to have to take a punt with my squad, fingers crossed no injuries.
All the breast
Kindus Regardsus Maximus
Rick
----------------------
Chairman responds:
I'm sure they'll all be fine. For the first part of the season - then you might want to consider feeding them something other than findus. Or haven't I been paying attention again?
=============================
No comments:
Post a Comment