Week 03: Transfer Window Slams Shut

Mike Smears listening out for the
slamming shut of the transfer window

While the average age of OFFL manager has just suddenly leapt up by a decade or two, the Manager of the Week this week is the ever youthful Nick Reed.  His Gone Poyet Gone have jumped up by a car-crashingly large four places, to surge into, um, twelfth.  The impressive netting of 20 points not quite pushing him up to play with The Big Boys...

...and Girls. Yes, Top Posh Bint Minty continues to have the best view in the house by keeping ahead of the early chasers for the second week running.  Her Mintal Institute have reached a half-century of points already.  Totally Mintal.

And in a sudden spasm of activity, previously snoozing Pensioner Mike Smears was seen desperately fumbling with the volume controls in his ear in an attempt to quickly adjust his hearing aid settings after the rather large Premiership transfer window loudly slammed shut on Monday.  We should now have a more settled Players List until January.

And while we're riffing some quality jibber-jabber about the Players List, don't forget that if a player was already listed as belonging to a particular Premiership club and subsequently swaps to a different Premiership club then that player shall remain on our Players List as belonging to the original club.  Scott Parker, for example, remains listed as a TOT player despite the new Fulham shirt into which he now squeezes to the rasps of David Rose's The Stripper every Saturday afternoon.

The new Players List will be available next week.

That's it for now.

Studmarks remains your ever faithful OFFL servant.

T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

Irishpool

   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Dear Mr President

I really must protest this time. Things have gone too far. I take a short three month break at Bognor Regis and come back to find that, without so much as a by-your-leave, these youngsters have started the league in my absence once again. Intolerable. In my day they'd have been horsewhipped. I demand that my team be allowed to win points retrospectively, especially those two lovely goals by Sturridge. Be so good as to reply by return and assure me that my request has been approved.

Yours outraged

Bristling from Bassett.

ps any news on the OAP allowance for extra players?

Chairman responds:

Oh it's good to have you back, Sir.  The summer hasn't been the same without your cantankerous sense of righteous privilege. I, for one, am greatly looking forward to the usual early Cup exit and your annual bob around the large-numbered rankings.  Welcome back.

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T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9 13  50
 2 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.5 17  48
 2 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.8 13  48
 2 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9 14  48
 5 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.9 13  43
 6 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      54.6 13  42
 7 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.5 12  40
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9  8  40
 9 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   55.0 11  39
10 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    54.8  9  38

11 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     55.0 14  37
12 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       53.6 20  35
12 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4 14  35
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    54.7  8  35
15 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    54.7 15  34
16 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8  9  30
17 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  9  24
18 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7 11  21
19 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0 15  15
20 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.5 12  12
20 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.9  6  12
22 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.6  9   9


                              Week's Average Points    12
                              Total Average Points     33
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