Week 15: League Average Reaches 100!

Old age can be a mournfully painful aspect of life for a Manager's loved ones to cope with. The Manager's memories can not only distort but sometimes also completely disappear. Accuracy of judgements and opinions veer into the ridiculous only to be replaced by an unswervingly surging momentum of cantankerous outrage.

Take ageing skinhead Andy 'I Used to Run A Fantasy League Myself' Straw. Having hankered after the canter into cantankerousness himself he seems to have completed the metamorphosis into an ageing skin-and-boned Andy 'I Can't Remember The Meaning of Deadlines and Quite Frankly I Don't Very Much Care For Them' Straw.

It's a place we're all doomed to be heading towards, I'm sure you'll agree.

Manager of the Week is the youthful and spritely Smasher who, whilst not wanting to blow his own trumpet, does like to blow his own transfer quota. His Inter 'Yes We Got the Rather Feeble Team Name Gag Over Ten Years Ago' Milandrover scored 21 points to climb just one place to remain a member of the Big Four.

And finally, it's always nice to see a manager express his/her joy at being temporarily top of the table. Current League Leader, RS T-Boy's Rick Beecroft, is the latest exponent of the natural high that the League Leadership bestows. Just before it gets cruelly wrestled away from him next week. Perhaps.

[Don't stare at Mr Manttan's score this week. It's rude. Move along.]

Thanks to Craig McHugh for sending in the picture of Carlos Tevez and his Mum. Carlos' mum, not Craig's.

Weeks 12, 13 and 14

Managers of the Weeks....

Week 12: Campbell Tierney, 35 points for Campbellwin
Week 13: Craig McHugh, 20 points for Olymping Macdrid
Week 14: Rick Beecroft and Neil McConaghy, 21 points each for RS T-Boy and BM Mingmongs respectively.

And the lead has changed three times in as many weeks. Charlie's Angels, Upmintster United and now RS-T-Boy all topped the league in this three week festival of fantasy footballing fun.

Tinkety-tonk.

Week 11: A Freak Week for 'knapp Man and Robinho

A freak week from Robinho sees the Brazilian striker net 14 points all on his own creating a wooden cart type vehicle seemingly designed to transport a group of musicians all playing the "Robinho Symphony".

All this seems to have triggered the 'herding instinct' in OFFL Managers. Indeed two managers have already been unable to resist this informational social influence and executed transfers aimed at bringing the player into their teams [see email] and the OFFL HQ are preparing themselves for further knee-jerk transfer requests.

Particularly from Charlie's Angels.

Manager of the Week is Smasher who's 22 point haul can be solely attributed to a certain Brazilian striker enjoying a freak week. Can’t remember his name.

Another instant trend to watch out for is the mass transferring out of Portsmouth players based on the belief that Harry Redknapp's weekend departure will instantly cause Pompey's Premier League demise.

Now who would be paranoid enough to react to both those big news stories?

Week 09 & 10: Chairman's Shares Portfolio Plummets

It's not easy for Our Most Gracious Chairman. As the global banking crisis deepens, His bulging share portfolio is disintegrating in front of his very [bulging] eyes. Particularly, his investments in the Japanese financial markets. Indeed, those Tokyo-based banks are in all sorts of trouble.

The Origami Bank, for example, has folded but the Bank of the Ninja is still in the black. Sumo Financial has gone belly up and, according to reports, the Governor of the Bank of Karate is for the chop. And while analysts are reporting that something fishy is going on at the Sushi Bank, staff are worried that they may get a raw deal.

And, while we, here at Studmarks, make the most of these appalling gags that just arrived in a joke spam-junk [read that carefully] email to cover up our lack of inspiration this week..., [clears throat] Bonsai Bank are having to cut some of its branches while the Bank of the Samurai are just about surviving following sharp cuts. Shares in the Kamikaze Bank are still nose-diving.

I thank you.

Manager of the Week is Andy '3st 10oz' Straw with a much heavier 17 points to add to his total. This pushes his Nutts Florist up. Into third.

And Ashley Keeler finally produces the team he picked back in August. According to the highly disorganised manager it had apparently got jammed in a folder somewhere between hotmail and googlemail.

Hmmm.

We also welcome Messrs Walsh and Dube to the League. As you can see from their pictures here, they're both a couple of ming mongs. And one of them is illiterate to bot.

[Do you see what we did there?]

And as it was our current Champion, Neil McConaghy's, birthday this week here's a freebie for all of us to listen to in celebration for him...

[AND it's for cheridee great mate...]

http://www.archive.org/download/200810LFL-Philippines1/200810LFL-Philippines1.mp3

and

http://www.archive.org/download/LittleSmasher20081005/200810LFL-Philippines2.mp3

Week 08: Stretching Tierney

Manager of the Week is Alun Edwards whose Radnorshire Tigers pummelled home a massive 23 points.

Meanwhile, Abeerden are stretching their lead, and their luck with yet more transfers. Possibly forgetting that we're still only one drinkstop along this long arduous marathon route.

Interestingly, Our Most Gracious Chairman prepares for his scouting trip to Africa where he shall be screwing in light bulbs later this month. While he isn't sure he won't be returning home to a country poorer than the one he returns from, he at least can be certain that the sound of rustling papers and the scratching of pencils will greet him as more potential managers threaten to get their teams in before the start of the OFFL Cup.

Ah yes. The OFFL Cup.

There's a prize you know.

Which can be drooled over here...