Week 01: Go, Go, Go.

Well, how does it feel?  Bit unnerving isn't it?  So many points for just one week's worth of work?  New point system that, isn't it?

Manager of the Week is, of course, Rick Beecroft thanks to his RS-TBOY netting him a good-looking 53 points.

Perennial Runner Up, Dave Clayton, is already occupying his second place spot while current Champions, Neil's Diamonds, have made an adequate start in the defence of manager McConaghy's Title.

But this is Week 1, don't forget.  And it is a marathon and it isn't a sprint.

SSH!

That's right.  You heard it.  A MARATHON.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 53    53
 2 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 50    50
 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.4 49    49
 4 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 46    46
 5 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 45    45
 6 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.9 43    43
 7 Wardy's Wasters      Gavin Ward           49.4 40    40
 8 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 48.2 35    35
 9 Moobchester United   Jon King             49.9 34    34
10 Ali McMoist          Alison Faulkner      49.3 33    33

Slowly, Slowly, Footie Starty

Slowly, slowly, footie starty.

With eight days and two hours to go before the next Premiership game, we are already receiving teams from across the realm and it's good to see some familiar faces.

2013's OFFL Cup Winning Manager Gavin Ward is back with Wardy's Wasters while 2005/2006 League Championship winning manager Guy Harewood is also back with his marvellously monikered Bayern Bru.

Game Of Throw Ins are back too with the 2006/2007 League Runner Up Craig McHugh at the helm as is the more recent League Champion of 2015/2016, Minty Colquhoun - she's back with her Minions.  And, of course, we have 1996's League Winners Sheep City.  Martyn Field's woolly wallies are back with fluffy avengeance and out for a return to the glory days of ancient times.

Good luck with that.

Keep them coming people, keep 'em coming.

http://j.mp/SelectYourTeam

Do What?

Marathon though, yeah?

Our Most Gracious Chairman hasn't got where he is today without the canny ability to re-invent.

He may look like an aged traditionalist in his tweed waistcoat, spinning bow-tie and flat cap.  And as you look at Him now, shaking your head in weary resignation, He precariously lifts, shifts and leans a bulbous buttock upon a worryingly creaky hunting stick, audibly protesting the upholding of his corporeal volume.  You simply can't quite believe that he's changing everything.

What do we mean by that?

The rules.  That's what we mean.

Eh?

What?  Them things what we 'av been 'avvin to adhere to for the past 20 odd years?

Yes, them things.

GONE are Full Backs and Centre Backs.
GONE are simple 3, 2, 1, -1 point scoring values.

Please mop that perspiration from your crinkled brow, it doesn't suit you.

For this season we shall be having "Defenders".  Not Full Backs and Centre Backs.  And you'll need four of them.

Thanks to Brexit, a hard Brexit at that, OMG Chairman has relented and reduced the prices of the players in general, a short-sighted global economic policy you'll agree, but there we have it, it's not real money and we'll do anything to distract ourselves away from the real world of rising prices, reduced opportunity and meaningless soundbites.  The world is a little less gloomy because we say it is.

So you have £50 million.  Points are awarded for appearances, clean sheets, penalty saves and goals while points are taken away for red cards, penalty misses and own goals.  It's all in the Rules if you care to have a browse.  But don't worry, The Chairman Is [Still] Always Right.

Use the new modified SelectYourTeam spreadsheet to help you, um, select your team.  Don't forget to give it an hilariously clever name.  You'll be judged harshly if you don't.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that.

Isn't it?

We start scoring after the international break.

GO!

Again, Again, Again.

Shall we?

Week 41: Winning and Not Winning

A fantastically fascinating final furlong in the ferociously fought fumble for the fantasy football title.

A massive Manager of the Week certificate-winning week's score of 42 points from the recent long-time league leaders Pyeators threw Dave Clayton's lads all the way back up the table earning themselves a final Second Place finish to the season for the third time in five years.  They landed up there with a bump, short by just 11 points, behind this year's Office Fantasy Football League Champions, Neil's Diamonds.  Yes, it's now official.  Congratulations to Neil McConaghy who hasn't won the title since 2008 when he topped the table with Big Mac's Mingmongs.

Congratulations/Commiserations therefore to Dave 'Runner Up' Clayton who adds 2017 Runners Up, to his legacy of losings.  This includes 2014 Runners Up, 2013 Runners Up and 2012 Cup Runners Up.  "Don't worry Dave," as we've comforted him almost every year since 2012, "there's always next season."

Meanwhile, talking of not-winners... the curiously quixotic Edgar Rayner had the chance of a Fantasy lifetime to lift the OFFL Cup... here's what happened:

==============
OFFL Cup Final
--------------
RESULT

Inter Milandrover 26 v 11 Moreton Rovers
          Smasher         Edgar Rayner

Indeed, with a few clever transfers Mr Rayner would have definitely definitely definitely had it 'dans le sac'.  But disastrously tethered to his honourably unrealistic transfer policy ideals, the third-from-bottom-placed Moreton Rovers's lack of quality shone brightly through against Third Place Inter Milandrover who retain the title of 'OFFL Cup Winners' this season.

Indeed, Smasher taking the Cup for the second year running should momentarily mute much of the moaning from the many mortals within the Milandrover mingmongery who have been moodily mooting for Smasher's sacking after more than 20 years at the club.  As it happens, their legendary manager has just signed another two year extension to his contract.

And with that, we say goodbye and thank you for your participation in yet another OFFL Season.

Roll credits with a backdrop of Neil McConaghy lifting the League Title to an exciting music track of pop metal.

OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 2016/2017
Neil's Diamonds, managed by Neil McConaghy on a score of 448 points

OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CUP WINNERS 2016/2017
Inter Milandrover, managed by Smasher, by 15 points

T h e  F i n a l  T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       54.8 21 448

 2 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         54.5 42 437

 3 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              54.7 26 435

 4 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       54.8 32 433

 5 Epic Yellowz         Stanley/Kate Wilson  54.0 14 415

 6 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           54.2 27 414

 7 Dowds Farm Goblins   Nick Borrett         54.8  7 404

 8 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         54.9 23 399

 9 Moobchester United   Jon King             54.7 41 395

10 Irishpool            Mike Smears          54.2 24 385