Week 28: Mo Shun Sickness

Mo 'n' Jo

Back in the days of a Mourinho-managed Chelsea, one Blues' squad member called Mohamed Salah was seen to be worthy merely for one thing: warming the bench for the comfort of his more illustrious and much-photographed team mates.

While his youthfully mighty Egyptian buttocks contributed cozily to 2015's successful Premiership Title push that year it was only when Jose let him leave Stamford Bridge that Mo started to flourish for Fiorentina.

The following season, things went weightily wobbly for Chelsea forcing them to jettison Jose.

And to wrap a story up before the relevance of the punchline goes missing...

Chelsea, quite literally, lost their MoJo.

[PAUSE]

[SILENCE]

[/PAUSE]

Too tenuous, huh? 

OK. How about this...

[TAKES ANOTHER RUN UP]

At Chelsea, Jose Mourinho didn't utilise the sensational Mohamed Salah who subsequently left.  Could we say that Mourinho must now be suffering from Mo Shun Sickness?

[AUDIBLE SIGH]

Oh COME ON!  It's better than the rubbish you've been getting recently.

Managers of the Week are Nick and Sam Reed: their Pogboom scored a large 75 points which is just the sort of distraction Dr Reed needs right now, what with him being personally responsible for the entire driverless car thing.  Yeah!

This'll distract the reader from yet another appalling Studmarks.

[PICKS UP PITCH FORK]

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OFFL Cup
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Quarter Finals, Wk 32
           
        Bayern Bru    v    Livercoolio
      Guy Harewood         Russ Bielby
            
 Inter Milandrover    v    RS-TBOY
           Smasher         Rick Beecroft
     
          Pyeators    v    Brighton Beautiful
      Dave Clayton         Karyn Meaden-Pratt
              
Moobchester United    v    Irishpool
          Jon King         Mike Smears

---

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                 Manager             (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds      Neil McConaghy       49.7 62 1283
 2 Bayern Bru           Guy Harewood         49.6 50 1251
 3 Moanchester United   Alex Blundell        49.4 52 1216
 4 Pogboom              Nick and Sam Reed    49.3 75 1197
 5 Pyeators             Dave Clayton         50.0 48 1178
 6 RS-TBOY              Rick Beecroft        49.8 59 1159
 7 Livercoolio          Russell Bielby       50.0 46 1154
 8 Inter Milandrover    Smasher              49.9 54 1136
 9 Brighton Beautiful   Karyn Meaden-Pratt   49.1 38 1125
10 Game Of Throw Ins    Craig McHugh         49.0 61 1122
11 Johnny's Heroes      Sarah Bielby         48.1 60 1104
12 Radnorshire Tigers   Alun Edwards         50.0 30 1064
13 Moobchester United   Jon King             49.8 46 1060
14 Irishpool            Mike Smears          49.4 49 1046
15 Minty's Minions      Minty Colquhoun      49.1 21  981
16 What's Scotland For? Matilda Larking      49.2 49  968
17 Ali McMoist          Alison Faulkner      49.3 57  961
18 Suits You Sur-man    Sarah Bingham        49.3 36  960
19 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 10  949
20 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil   Chris Walsh          44.5 22  948
21 RockRollford United  Edgar Rayner         48.0 31  915
22 Sheep City           Martyn Field         49.9 20  820
23 Wardy's Wasters      Gavin Ward           49.4 15  800
24 Crystal Phallus      Guy Salter           48.5 49  749


                        Week's Average Points        43.3
                        Total Average Points       1047.8

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Radnorshire Tigers
-------------------
   From: Alun Edwards
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Dear FA,

I am writing to express my disgust at the results of the most recent cup round. How can it be possible for a team with such an illustrious cup history as the Radnor Tigers to come up against Premiership opposition so early in the draw!?

Anyway my scouts report on the crocked Viking and “Oneofourown” so my first thought was draft in that nice Mr Coutinho he can sub for them both. However my advisors recommend:

OUT
508   MF  Sigurdsson, G     SWA
627   ST  Kane, H           TOT

IN
441 MF Mane, S       LIV  £5.2       7     67
625 ST Heung-Min, S TOT   £5.0      29    144

Keep the blue paint ready for the penalty spot after the international break!

Best wishes, Ally

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Chairman responds:
Really is a bit of a headscratcher what with you being in Twelfth!  And then I look at transfers like this.  Truly awful.

Alternatively, this is a stroke of genius.  Could even get you as high as Eleventh.

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Moobchester United
-------------------
   From: Jon King
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Morning sir,
Quick transfer for my team.
Out with Kane 627
In with Son 625.

Regards,
Jon

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Isn't that a book.  Son of Kane?  Probably not.

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Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

627 Kane OUT
625 Son IN

220 Williams OUT
283 Van Dijk IN

Surely that secures a top ten position.  Maybe the cup.

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Cocky.  Unlikely.

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