 |
| Alex Blundell |
OFFL Cup
Group Stage Results
WeekGroup A 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Johnny's Heroes 111 35 146
What's Scotland For? 95 49 144
Moanchester United 86 45 131
Group B 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Neil's Diamonds 98 44 142
Inter Milandrover 87 44 131
RockRollford United 67 34 101
Group C 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Pyeators 92 48 140
Minty's Minions 84 46 130
Suits You Sur-man 69 36 105
Group D 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
RS-TBOY 118 38 156
Ali McMoist 90 54 144
Rushden Academicals 2nd XI 76 30 106
Group E 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Bayern Bru 128 47 175
Radnorshire Tigers 91 57 148
Wardy's Wasters 45 28 73
Group F 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Game Of Throw Ins 113 44 157
Brighton Beautiful 87 42 129
Obi Wan Kenobi Nil 68 28 96
Group G 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Livercoolio 98 53 151
Irishpool 73 19 92
Sheep City 43 26 69
Group H 17 19 Total
---------------------------------------------
Pogboom 101 47 148
Moobchester United 86 35 121
Crystal Phallus 44 26 70
At last! Alex Blundell's Moanchester United have something to moan about.
After scaling the heights to remain in contention for winning the League this season, Moanchester United have fallen at the first OFFL Cup hurdle, the group stage. Indeed, the Moaners are the only seeded team to have failed to push through to the knockout stages of the competition leaving Manager Blundell in fear of his job. And while his wife quietly, slowly begins to pack a bag amongst the blurred backdrop behind him, we look at the other sad and pathetic Cup Exiteers.
Other sad and pathetic Exiteers include:
Eg Rayner's RockRollford United
Sarah Bingham's Suits You Sur-man
Mally Meaden-Pratt's Rushden Academicals 2nd XI
Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wasters
Chris Walsh's Obi Wan Kenobi Nil
Martyn Field's Sheep City
Guy Salter's Crystal Phallus
So, so sad.
And pathetic.
Talking of pathetic, current OFFL Cup Holders, Inter Milandrover, live on to fight another day. Not that anyone cares, of course.
Sarah Bingham's Suits You Sur-man
Mally Meaden-Pratt's Rushden Academicals 2nd XI
Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wasters
Chris Walsh's Obi Wan Kenobi Nil
Martyn Field's Sheep City
Guy Salter's Crystal Phallus
So, so sad.
And pathetic.
Talking of pathetic, current OFFL Cup Holders, Inter Milandrover, live on to fight another day. Not that anyone cares, of course.
Meanwhile, Radnorshire Tigers pat home 57 points helping manager Alun Edwards to a Manager of the Week Certificate.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 49.7 44 860
2 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 49.4 45 857
3 Bayern Bru Guy Harewood 49.6 47 832
4 Pyeators Dave Clayton 49.9 48 816
5 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 49.8 38 800
6 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 50.0 53 767
7 Brighton Beautiful Karyn Meaden-Pratt 49.2 42 760
8 Pogboom Nick and Sam Reed 49.3 47 759
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 49.8 44 752
10 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 49.0 44 751
11 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 48.1 35 747
12 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 50.0 57 725
13 Suits You Sur-man Sarah Bingham 49.3 36 694
14 What's Scotland For? Matilda Larking 49.2 49 688
15 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 30 688
16 Moobchester United Jon King 49.7 35 681
17 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 49.3 54 671
18 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 49.1 46 668
19 Irishpool Mike Smears 50.0 19 651
20 RockRollford United Edgar Rayner 48.0 34 630
21 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 44.5 28 618
22 Wardy's Wasters Gavin Ward 49.4 28 590
23 Sheep City Martyn Field 49.9 26 555
24 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 48.5 26 510
Week's Average Points 39.8
Total Average Points 711.3
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 49.7 44 860
2 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 49.4 45 857
3 Bayern Bru Guy Harewood 49.6 47 832
4 Pyeators Dave Clayton 49.9 48 816
5 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 49.8 38 800
6 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 50.0 53 767
7 Brighton Beautiful Karyn Meaden-Pratt 49.2 42 760
8 Pogboom Nick and Sam Reed 49.3 47 759
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 49.8 44 752
10 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 49.0 44 751
11 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 48.1 35 747
12 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 50.0 57 725
13 Suits You Sur-man Sarah Bingham 49.3 36 694
14 What's Scotland For? Matilda Larking 49.2 49 688
15 Rushden Academicals 2Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 49.9 30 688
16 Moobchester United Jon King 49.7 35 681
17 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 49.3 54 671
18 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 49.1 46 668
19 Irishpool Mike Smears 50.0 19 651
20 RockRollford United Edgar Rayner 48.0 34 630
21 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 44.5 28 618
22 Wardy's Wasters Gavin Ward 49.4 28 590
23 Sheep City Martyn Field 49.9 26 555
24 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 48.5 26 510
Week's Average Points 39.8
Total Average Points 711.3
-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Livercoolio
-------------------
From: Russ Bielby
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: LIVERCOOLIO OFFL Transfers Please
Dear Mr Chairman,
So… I am lying awake with one eye open, gripping my pillow tight… Why can I not sleep? Why? Why?
Then it hit me…
The transfer window was open… (still lol)… I have £400k to spend and absolutely no time to waste.
So with Barca about to benefit from all the coaching I have been doing of late, I have decided to invest in this new bunch of hopers.
OUT
===
225 DF Jorgensen, M HUD 2.4
249 DF Kompany, V MCY 3.9
226 DF Lowe, C HUD 2.5
508 MF Sigurdsson, G SWA 4.8
445 MF de Bruyne, K MCY 5.7
606 ST Lukaku, R MUN 6.6
IN
===
196 DF Alonso, M CHE £4.3
197 DF Azpilicueta, C CHE £4.5
193 DF Tarkowski, J BUR £2.1
459 MF Lingard, J MUN £3.8
454 MF Sterling, R MCY £4.6
627 ST Kane, H ST TOT £7.0
That is £400k… *pooooooooof* … gone… !!
I know you want to laugh but just don’t… don’t… ok… you have no idea how important this is to me !!
No really… you just don’t… lol
Thank you for your fine work.
Ya friendly Kloppite
Russ :D
----------------------
Chairman responds:
I think we're beginning to get a picture of its significance in your life. Our collective hearts go out to Mrs Bielby. And Lord Beeky of Beecroft probably.
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