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| Dave Clayton's Airing Cupboard |
In a week full of crazy league changes, one thing remains the same... Pyeators are top and extending their lead.
Yes, Dave Clayton's chaps currently enjoy a safety buffer of 28 points largely thanks to a lack of bed-linen laundry requirements. There have been so many clean sheets that the percentage of points from his defence is 27% better than the next best defensive team of Dowds Farm Goblins.
Realising, mid-yawn, that no-one in their right mind and with better things to do with their lives, is EVER NEVER EVER going to question a stat like that, we might try to pitch in a few more preposterous percentages per post perhaps. But no more for this edition, eh?
Meanwhile, and surprisingly, Pyeators has just the seventh best attack in the League... Go on, have a gander why not?...
Points Scored from Midfielders and Strikers
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Week 18 Points
PosTeam Manager Value MF ST Attack
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2 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.9 50 91 141
3 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.8 91 49 140
4 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 91 49 140
5 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 76 57 133
6 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.0 64 66 130
7 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 74 53 127
1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 62 61 123
11 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 58 62 120
. . . . . . .
. . . . . . .
. . . . . . .
27 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 17 38 55
28 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 37 6 43
29 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 17 8 25
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 43.0 0 0 0
And before you bring yourself relief by finally giving in to that urge [which you've been inexplicably resisting] to press Delete on this post we must say congratulations to Karyn Meaden-Pratt for managing her Bourneslippy to a massive week's total of 27 points. A Manager of the Week certificate would be winging its way to Ms Meaden-Pratt if they materially existed but, alas, they haven't existed since the dissolution of the RFFL. Long story, best kept to a minimum.
Best kept to a Zero, in fact.
Move on.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 17 198
2 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.9 7 170
3 Epic Yellowz Stanley/Kate Wilson 54.8 22 168
4 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 1 165
5 Absolutely Fabregas Sarah Bingham 55.0 16 163
6 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.0 3 160
7 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.6 16 156
8 Bourneslippy Karyn Meaden-Pratt 54.7 27 154
9 Starpratt Mustgo Malcolm Meaden-Pratt 55.0 5 154
10 Crystal Phallus Guy Salter 54.7 16 152
11 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.8 7 148
12 Dowds Farm Goblins Nick Borrett 54.3 3 145
13 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 13 145
14 Big Girl's Blouses Guy Harewood 54.6 1 142
15 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.6 13 141
16 Shutdown FC Sam Reed 54.4 11 136
17 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.9 8 135
18 Moobchester United Jon King 54.0 7 131
19 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.9 18 131
20 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.3 8 130
21 Toby's Gang Toby Larking 55.0 0 130
22 Irishpool Mike Smears 53.3 15 125
23 Game Of Throw Ins Craig McHugh 54.9 16 124
24 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 54.8 13 121
25 Roll all the dice FC Gavin Ward 54.9 11 119
26 Sheep City Martyn Field 53.9 5 96
27 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 7 69
28 Ali McMoist Ali Larking 46.8 7 55
29 Obi Wan Kenobi Nil Chris Walsh 53.7 10 18
30 The Trumpeteers Donald Trump 43.0 -2 -3
Week's Average Points 10
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Radnorshire Tigers
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From: Alun Edwards
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfer
A festive Bah Humbug to you,
My keeper seems to be a liability, so for my cup-run I am bringing in a replacement:
OUT
629 GK C Bravo MC 4.3
IN
110 GK T Courtois CHE £4.1
Gor' [Chairman Smash] Bless Us Everyone!
Ally
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Chairman responds:
Bravo, Sir. You're not Courtoising disaster with that move [SELF-CONGRATULATORY CHUCKLE].
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It's A Snickers
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From: Ashley Keeler
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfers
Ok, time to make my annual pre-Christmas panic transfers ahead of the big cup. It seems I've drawn a favourable first round which shouldn't cause me too much trouble.
Here goes nothing...
OUT
603 - Chigwell
187 - Gomez
274 - Otamendi
604 - Holding
605 - Wijnaldum
380 - Mirallas
366 - Townsend
IN
151 - Bellerin
204 - Bertrand
284 - Fonte
310 - McAuley
337 - Stanislas
362 - McArthur
402 - Coutinho
Nothing says inspired leadership quite like changing your entire defence and midfield. If you could make these swaps for me sir, I'd be ever so festive and grateful.
Thanks!
Ashley
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Chairman responds:
Festive AND grateful? Gosh, how exciting? A bit like Giving AND Receiving.
You've given your transfer requests. The OFFL HQ has received them.
You did keep the receipt this time, yeah?
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Pyeators
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From: Dave Clayton
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfer
Hello Mr Chairman Sir!
Christmas transfers if I may;
Out 283 Smalling In 310 McAuley
Out 402 Coutinho In 408 S Mane
Many thanks
Dave
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Chairman responds:
Ah, the weak spots in your team have just been treated with strengthifying jollop. Git.
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