Monday, 18 January 2016

Week 23 & 24: A Terrible Show

A terrible show.
Manager of the Week this week is, of course... Nick Reed whose Guess Hughton scored a massive 28 points.  And Nick joins us live via Satellite from Las Vegas where he's selling second hand self-driving cars... Hello Nick?  How do you feel about winning this week's Manager of the Week certificate?

Hello Nick?  Nick?

I'm sorry we seem to have lost him.

In order to fill the dead air while we find some library footage of a trombone I shall distractingly ask if the January transfer window has brought any intriguing new footballing talent into your team yet?

No?

This is a terrible show.

Cut to the music...

Here's Loopy's new single, 'Gallery of You'
https://soundcloud.com/loopytheband/gallery-of-you/

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5  7 239
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 15 216
 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 25 213
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 28 211
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 15 204
 6 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  8 203
 7 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 10 201
 8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 13 191
 9 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  7 184
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2  1 176

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Week 22: OFFL Cup Group Stage Results

Gavin Ward and Alun Edwards are the Managers of the Week this week helping their respective Seb Blattered Cod and Radnorshire Tigers through to the next round of the OFFL Cup.  Congratulations both.  18 points each.

But, yes, what of the cup?  Any Oxford/Swansea-type shocks?

Well YES as it happens...

Runaway League Leaders, Minty's Minions CRASH OUT of the OFFL Cup after two weeks' worth of scores.  Minty Colquhoun will not be Doing The Double with her Minions this season in spite of being over 30 points ahead of the chasing pack in the League table.  Minty's miserly score of 5 meagre points last week was only enough to finish 2nd from bottom of Group A, which means She and her wannabe-Champions are OUT.

Oh Yoo Tee spells OUT.

Not through.  Not qualified.  Exited.  You are naturally inconsolable.  We know you had your heart set on that Louis Van Goal biography.

But what of the rest of you?

========
OFFL Cup
--------
First Round Group Stage Results

Group A                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Which Team                    53.3  21  13   34
  Seb Blattered Cod             52.0  15  18   33
  The Flying Geese              53.9  16  10   26
  Moobchester United            54.9  19   7   26
  Minty's Minions               51.5  17   5   22   Out
  It's a Snickers FC            51.7  10  10   20   Out

Group B                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            50.7  20  18   38
  Livercoolio                   54.7  14  13   27
  Moreton Rovers                54.6  15   9   24
  Pyeators                      53.7  15   3   18
  Bad Wolf United               54.1   4   9   13   Out
  Irishpool                     50.3   5   7   12   Out

Group C                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Guess Hughton                 53.9  28  15   43
  Old Malcolm Academicals       54.8  19  12   31
  Inter Milandrover             54.8  17  10   27
  Oak Hamsters                  51.6  13   8   21
  Real Mcdrid                   51.5  11   5   16   Out

Group D                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Neil's Diamonds               53.2  32   8   40
  RS-TBOY                       51.4  25  10   35
  Ali McMoist                   51.1  25   9   34
  Moanchester United            54.9  20  12   32
  Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau   53.5   9   6   15   Out

So there you have it, commiserations to Guy 'Bird is the Word' Harewood, Craig 'Zizou' McHugh, Mike 'Rantathlete' Smears, Karyn 'Prattwoman' Meaden*, Ashley 'Not Again' Keeler and Minty 'What How Come' Colquhoun.  Take comfort from the fact that you're not alone in your total failure to lift the Cup this season.  You can be failures together.

*Congratulations, however, for hitching yourself to manager of Old Malcolm Academicals, Malcolm Pratt, Mrs Pratt.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5  5 232
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 10 201
 3 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   51.4 10 195
 4 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 13 191
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9  7 189
 6 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7  3 188
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 15 183
 8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  6 178
 9 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0 18 177
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2  8 175