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| Other ways to watch the TV in your favourite lycra listening to your iPod. |
Apart from playing their part in many an amusing cat video there is no real need for running machines to actually exist in our lives, let's face it. There are plenty of other ways to watch the TV in your favourite lycra while standing up listening to your iPod.
And very much like a running machine so the OFFL treadmill finds itself in existence.
[We shall now pause for you to flick through your own images of stumbling padding pussy paws while we awkwardly wait for the OFFL metaphor rain to stop pouring on the opening couple of paragraphs of this Week's Studmarks. Let's hoist an umbrella and get down to business, shall we?]
And like needless running machines there is certainly no need to point out the bleedin' obvious (but we're going to anyway) in that the Manager of the Week this week is Alun Edwards for managing his Radnorshire Tigers to a first week's table-topping tally of 16 points. Let's see if the Tigers can keep this up unlike Minty Colquhoun's early lead last season...
*Swanny Whistle Down*
Amid such farce we welcome some old faces back to OFFL20. Not least Pete "Mr Loverman" Braithwaite who was part of the league when it was the RFFL, many years ago, but also we say hello [in the style of Mr Tumble] to OFFL Virgins Stanley Wilson and Mandy Noble. And while their two ages bring the OFFL Manager average down to about 15 years, the returning Mr Smears ensures it climbs back up to nearer the usual 65 years.
In the meantime, let's have a look at the most popular players picked so far in the league.
PIN Surname Club Value Count
-------------------------------------------
263 CB D Lovren LIV 3.8 8
402 MF R Sterling LIV 4.6 7
413 MF Y Toure MC 6.4 7
531 ST D Costa CHE 7.5 7
171 FB S Coleman EVE 4.5 6
322 MF A Ramsey ARS 5.0 6
559 ST W Rooney MU 7.8 6
341 MF C Fabregas CHE 5.6 5
423 MF J Mata MU 5.4 5
114 GK T Howard EVE 4.0 4
143 GK H Lloris TOT 3.8 4
199 FB C Chambers ARS 3.6 4
159 FB K Richardson AV 3.5 4
188 FB P Zabaleta MC 4.9 4
399 MF A Lallana LIV 4.5 4
519 ST A Sanchez ARS 7.4 4
560 ST R van Persie MU 8.4 4
Enough of this nonsense. It's Week 1. Welcome back. Get on with it.
PS
No mention of the World Cup so far eh?
PPS
D'Oh!
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.8 16 16
2 Botley Yellow Stanley Wilson 49.1 15 15
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 15 15
4 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.8 13 13
5 Blet Satters Mad Hatters Gavin Ward 54.6 11 11
6 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 55.0 11 11
7 Livercoolio Russ Bielby 54.9 10 10
8 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 10 10
9 Pedro's Plodders Pete Braithwait 46.7 8 8
10 Moanchester Disunited Alex Blundell 52.1 8 8
11 Fat Malcademicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 8 8
12 Didcot Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 8 8
13 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.8 4 4
14 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.9 4 4
15 Couldn't be Hyppia Nick Reed 55.0 4 4
16 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 3 3
17 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 52.5 1 1
18 Moobchester United Jon King 54.5 1 1
Week's Average Points 8
Total Average Points 7
Amid such farce we welcome some old faces back to OFFL20. Not least Pete "Mr Loverman" Braithwaite who was part of the league when it was the RFFL, many years ago, but also we say hello [in the style of Mr Tumble] to OFFL Virgins Stanley Wilson and Mandy Noble. And while their two ages bring the OFFL Manager average down to about 15 years, the returning Mr Smears ensures it climbs back up to nearer the usual 65 years.
In the meantime, let's have a look at the most popular players picked so far in the league.
PIN Surname Club Value Count
-------------------------------------------
263 CB D Lovren LIV 3.8 8
402 MF R Sterling LIV 4.6 7
413 MF Y Toure MC 6.4 7
531 ST D Costa CHE 7.5 7
171 FB S Coleman EVE 4.5 6
322 MF A Ramsey ARS 5.0 6
559 ST W Rooney MU 7.8 6
341 MF C Fabregas CHE 5.6 5
423 MF J Mata MU 5.4 5
114 GK T Howard EVE 4.0 4
143 GK H Lloris TOT 3.8 4
199 FB C Chambers ARS 3.6 4
159 FB K Richardson AV 3.5 4
188 FB P Zabaleta MC 4.9 4
399 MF A Lallana LIV 4.5 4
519 ST A Sanchez ARS 7.4 4
560 ST R van Persie MU 8.4 4
Enough of this nonsense. It's Week 1. Welcome back. Get on with it.
PS
No mention of the World Cup so far eh?
PPS
D'Oh!
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.8 16 16
2 Botley Yellow Stanley Wilson 49.1 15 15
3 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 15 15
4 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.8 13 13
5 Blet Satters Mad Hatters Gavin Ward 54.6 11 11
6 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 55.0 11 11
7 Livercoolio Russ Bielby 54.9 10 10
8 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 10 10
9 Pedro's Plodders Pete Braithwait 46.7 8 8
10 Moanchester Disunited Alex Blundell 52.1 8 8
11 Fat Malcademicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 8 8
12 Didcot Rovers Edgar Rayner 55.0 8 8
13 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.8 4 4
14 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.9 4 4
15 Couldn't be Hyppia Nick Reed 55.0 4 4
16 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 55.0 3 3
17 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 52.5 1 1
18 Moobchester United Jon King 54.5 1 1
Week's Average Points 8
Total Average Points 7
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