Week 20: Pillows of Points

Ash Keeler: not that he's a scatter cushion kind of person but his pillows have definitely been plumped this week

Manager of the Week, shockingly, is Ash Keeler with a score of 32 points plumping up his 'It's A Snickers' pillows. This over-performance has seen the Snickers snore up two places.  From twenty-second to twentieth. 

Current leaders, Livercoolio, have refused to comment on this new threat to their current lead. 

Also scoring well is Mr Edwards, after his team re-engineering marathon last week his Tigers netted 25 points, lifting his team two places away from penultimate wooden-spoonage.  Amazing what a bit of tinkering can do.

Meanwhile, halfway through the Group Stage of the OFFL Cup...

OFFL Cup

First Round, so far

Group A                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Livercoolio                   54.4  21   0   21
  Eggafield Rovers              52.9  17   0   17
  RS-TBOY                       54.6  14   0   14
  Neil's Diamonds               53.8  12   0   12
  Botley Yellow                 54.4   8   0    8  
 
Group B                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            52.5  25   0   25
  Inter Milandrover             54.6  19   0   19
  Blat Setter's Mad Hatters     52.5  18   0   18
  Moanchester Ununited          55.0  14   0   14
  Lashings Of Cheese            54.4  11   0   11  
 
Group C                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  It's A Snickers               54.0  32   0   32
  Fattered Tanj                 53.4  13   0   13
  Which Team                    52.8  12   0   12
  Moobchester Utd               54.7   8   0    8
  Tierney's Twonks              53.2   6   0    6   
 
Group D                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Pyeators II                   55.0  22   0   22
  Mainly Bell Jam               54.0  18   0   18
  Mintal Institute              54.9  17   0   17
  1964 Prathletico Grande       54.4  14   0   14
  Real Mcdrid                   54.8  13   0   13 
 
Group E                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Irishpool                     54.3  19   0   19
  Woolyback Returns             54.9  19   0   19
  It Goes To Eleven             47.3   5   0    5
  Johnny's Heroes               54.8   4   0    4
  Gone Poyet Gone               52.7   0   0    0
 
Are you nearly gone, Poyet, gone from the cup?




T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 21 268
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.6 19 232
 3 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 22 216
 4 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 18 210
 5 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 17 206
 6 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4 13 206
 7 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4 14 205
 8 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2  6 198
 9 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 19 197
10 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       52.7  0 179
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.8 12 174
12 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.3 19 166
13 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0 14 166
14 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    52.8 12 162
15 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9 17 158
16 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.4 11 156
17 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.6 14 153
18 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7  8 145
19 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    54.8 13 135
20 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.0 32 133
21 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4  8 124
22 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    52.5 25 123
23 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8  4 121
24 Mainly Bell Jam            Hercule Poirot  54.0 18 118
25 It Goes To Eleven          Tom Vamos       47.3  5  35


                              Week's Average Points    14
                              Total Average Points    167

Week 19: Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas.

And the OFFL Cup begins.  Consider it our present to you this year.  Yeah.  Be grateful.

Manager of the Week: Nick Reed.  Nick's Gone Poyet Gone scored 14 points.  Nice.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 13 247

 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.6 12 213

 3 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 13 194

 4 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4 11 193

 5 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.1 11 192

 6 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2 11 192

 7 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4  8 191

 8 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  7 189

 9 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       52.7 14 179

10 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9  4 178

Week 18: Nappy Wearing Excitement of the OFFL Cup.

Inter 'Wearing Nappies' Milandrover:
It must be the excitement of the OFFL Cup

Just a reminder that your journey to OFFL Cup glory begins from this coming Monday [23rd] onwards - through till the New Year fixtures.  See last week's Studmarks [or the OFFL blog] for your group.  The bottom team of each group gets knocked out.

Nice to see, then, that so many of you have taken the time to put in some transfers.  Are you taking it seriously or something?  Must be the valuable prize on offer.  £12 on eBay.

And talking of the OFFL Blog, a quick skim over the page stats has revealed that the site has recorded well over 17,652 hits.  One post in particular has 3,497 hits - 3,000 more hits than most posts.  It's the one with the picture of the naked fat man relaxing on a couch.  We, here at Studmarks, will not be ignoring this lesson from here on in.

Russ 'Wild Sex Party' Bielby is this week's Manager of the Week with a score of 22 points, reaffirming his team's place at the revealing top of the League.  Big nippled Livercoolio have now stretched their lead over Inter Wearing Nappies Milandrover to 33 points.  Catchable.  Very catchable.  Not by Radnorshire Teasing Tigers, we wouldn't have thought...  No, this week Alun Edwards scored -4.  Boooo  bies.

Happy Christmas everyone.  Including you, Alun.

PS
Top Christmas Sausage Cooking Tip:  Prick them first.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 22 234
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.8 21 201
 3 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9  8 183
 4 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 14 182
 5 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   54.2  7 182
 6 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.1 19 181
 7 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2 21 181
 8 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 21 181
 9 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9  5 174
10 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       54.1 17 165

Week 17: Not called 'Shaky' for nothing

This year's OFFL Cup prize.  Might actually be worth something.

Woof.  Look at that score!  48 points in just one week AND a brand new Loopy album.  Loopy Groupie and new Booster8 owner, Russ Bielby, becomes the undisputed Manager of the Week for having a team consisting of Suarez, Aguero, Messi, Ronaldo, Pele, Cruyff, Maradona, Michael Jackson and Shakin Stevens.

And while that last sentence careers off into a tree of nonsense, we look at how the league has been affected by the week's extra midweek bonanza of points.

Not called Shaky for nothing: 

Unconvincingly looking for a penalty

Smasher has moved into second after his current Champions, Inter Milandrover, scored 34 points - now meaning a lag of 32 points behind Livercoolio.

Other notable scores came from Steve Tierney's Tierney's Twonks [37], Chris Walsh's Lashings Of Cheese [36], Rachel Jones' Which Team [34] and, of course, Ash Keeler's It's a Snickers [-5] - all of whom will be celebrating their 'notable scores' by purchasing a keenly priced album by Loopy from the Loopy Shop here http://loopytheband.bandcamp.com, I shouldn't wonder.

[I *do* wonder]

But this is what we've really been waiting for, isn't it? ...

The OFFL Cup, Group Stage

To be played over the 'Christmas Period'. Bottom team in each group gets knocked out.  The rest of the teams enter a draw for the next round of 16 fixtures.

And this year's prize?  It's Stanley Mathews' Football Album from 1949[AD].  Something for Mr Smears to hanker after, surely.  Or had you given up collecting football lit by then?  Might be worth something on eBay.  *Checks Quickly* - it IS worth something on eBay, dagnammit.  Foof, this is actually worth something.

Group A  

Maradona relaxing at home.
Listening to Booster8, probably.

  Livercoolio
  Eggafield Rovers
  Neil's Diamonds
  RS-TBOY
  Botley Yellow

Group B  
  Inter Milandrover
  Blat Setter's Mad Hatters
  Moanchester Ununited
  Lashings Of Cheese
  Radnorshire Tigers
  
Group C  
  Fattered Tanj
  Tierney's Twonks
  Moobchester Utd
  Which Team
  It's A Snickers
  
Group D  
  1964 Prathletico Grande
  Pyeators II
  Mintal Institute
  Real Mcdrid
  Mainly Bell Jam
  
Group E  
  Woolyback Returns
  Gone Poyet Gone
  Irishpool
  Johnny's Heroes
  It Goes To Eleven

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 48 212
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.8 34 180
 3 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   54.2 12 175
 4 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9 11 175
 5 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9  8 169
 6 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 24 168
 7 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.1 25 162
 8 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2 37 160
 9 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 33 160
10 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       54.1 20 148

Week 16: Thrusting Blatter's Hatters

Gavin Ward [not left] is making space for another OFFL Cup Winners Prize

We're into December and it's time for the group stages of the OFFL Cup soon.

*Shiver*

Coincidentally enough, last year's winner of the OFFL Cup, Gavin Ward, is this week's Manager of the Week with a large score of 17 points.  This thrusts his Blatter's Hatters up three places into seventh.

Meanwhile we have a new leader.  Malcolm Pratt has leapfrogged onto the top of the pile with his 1964 Prathletico Grande sharing the 164 point top score with Russ Bielby's Livercoolio.  This leaves the top four places all squeezed into a 3 point space ahead of the rest of the chasing pack.

So, start trying to get all your fantasy ducks in a line before the Big Group Stage OFFL Cup 'Off'.  So to speak.

By the way, does anyone like Harry Hill here?  He's a Loopy Groupie, don't you know.  Listen here for proof... http://j.mp/201312Popcast

And if it's just a 3 minute song you want, try this... http://j.mp/LoopyFiat500

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9 13 164
 2 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     55.0  8 164
 3 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   54.2  7 163
 4 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 16 161
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.8 -2 146
 6 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9 12 144
 7 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.1 17 137
 8 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.2 13 136
 9 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       54.6  3 128
10 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 14 127