ALL HAIL THE CHAIRMAN! ...[the team] has just rewarded its manager with a Manager of the Week Certificate. Indeed, Rob Ivison drove his men on to a 21 point haul with a climb of five places and will now be in receipt of a £25 Ferrari voucher. Though that last bit is just a rumour.
Were he to have been in the OFFL Cup Second Round he would surely have gone through to the next round. But before we get on to that we observe that Wardy's Wanderers are now just 3 points away from rising off the bottom of the table. We're certain that Ashley Keeler is currently running around trying to think of sensible infers to make.
Yes, he's probably doing that right now.
Now.
Now.
What about NOW...
OFFL Cup Second Round Results
Upmintster United 6 v 9 Radnorshire Tigers
Minty Colquhoun Alun Edwards
Chi'Knees Czechers 6 v 4 Livercoolio
Jirka Opatrny Russell Bielby
Decimated Left Peg 0 v 11 Stay Poyet Stay!
Neil Jukes Nick Reed
Big Mally 6 v 6 BM Mingmongs*
Malcolm Pratt Neil McConaghy
Lashings of Cheese 9 v 8 Norma Snockers FC
Chris Walsh Sarah Bingham
Phillham 12 v 7 Poyekhali
Filip Vejdovský Lester Clark
Freddie's Dreamers 6 v 9 Double's United
Francis Fox Rachel Jones
Shamone Muddy Funksters 9 v 6 Woolyback Town AFC
Dave Clayton Guy Harewood
*Goes through on Points per Pound
So, Congratulations go to all the victors who now make it through to the Quarter Finals of the OFFL Cup. You are now a step closer to winning the OFFL Cup Winners prize. You lucky LUCKY PEOPLE!
First Prize: AllStars Football Book from 1975, intro by Colin Todd
Second Prize: a CD of popular Football anthems
Click 'ere to avva butchers at these little beauties
Norma Snockers Knocked Out. What a sarcastic shame.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Norma Snockers FC Sarah Bingham 54.7 8 367
2 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.2 12 341
3 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.4 11 329
4 ADFC Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 6 323
5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 54.9 9 315
6 Sheep City Martyn Field 54.5 6 310
7 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 53.8 6 295
7 Upmintster United Minty Colquhoun 54.1 6 295
9 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.1 4 293
9 Chi'Knees Czechers Jirka Opatrny 55.0 6 293
12 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 53.7 9 286
13 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 55.0 21 275
14 Shivam's Sneakers Shivam Mehta 54.9 15 272
15 Big Mally Malcolm Pratt 54.7 6 271
15 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 54.9 9 271
17 Moreton United Edgar Rayner 54.2 8 267
18 Johnny's Heroes Sarah-Jane John 54.6 6 266
19 Phillham Filip Vejdovský 54.3 12 262
20 Double's United Rachel Jones 54.8 9 255
21 Poyekhali Lester Clark 55.0 7 250
22 Moobchester United Jon King 52.4 5 246
23 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 55.0 15 244
24 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 6 241
25 The WWMC Steve Tierney 54.2 18 237
26 Real McDrid Craig McHugh 55.0 6 236
27 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 55.0 6 226
28 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.0 12 225
29 Pathetic Athletic Mark Weavers 53.7 9 214
30 Moanchester Alex Blundell 54.8 14 200
31 Real Mannsdid Dan Manns 55.0 15 199
32 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 11 196
33 Vonder Bramen Alan Betteridge 49.5 6 193
34 It's A Snickers Ashley Keeler 54.7 0 172
35 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.5 3 169
Week's Average Points 8
Total Average Points 260
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