Week 41: Another season passes into history

The 2010/2011 OFF Champions: Pompey Puss

The OFFL Champions 2010/2011
Pompey Puss
Lionel Larking with 422 pts


The OFFL Cup Final 2011

Real McDrid  9 v 5  Sheep City
Craig McHugh        Martyn field


Weeping in his hospital bed, desperately trying to get the use of his legs back, is Sheep City's most revered citizen - Martyn Field.  It's unlikely that this abrupt and unsatisfying end to his season will make much of a splash in his rather readable blog about his attempt to recover from POEMS syndrome [http://martynsthoughtsonitall.blogspot.com] - A cold stark reminder, I'm sure you'll agree, that we should all keep things in perspective: I mean, who needs a white blood cell count anyway when there's the glory of OFFL to pursue?


Craig McHugh's victory-cum-gloat parade will take place outside his chip shop in Surbiton in his open-topped Citroen CV [well, the roof will be rolled back at the very least].

Craig wins the glorious statuette of Fabio Capello circa 2010.  Like Colleen McLoughlin, Martyn consoles himself with the highly paid Wayne Rooney.

Meanwhile, Neil McConaghy attempts to draw the fire from the fact that his BM Mingmongs failed to come anywhere near their season of 2007/2008 by playing the 'Doing Something For Charity Card' [see below].  Yeah, yeah.

Sheep and the City:  Martyn's getting better.

But look.  Over there, on a hot tin roof.  A feline silhouette bouncing up and down with the gleeful chaotic spasms of a Jedward Eurovision performance.  Lionel Larking, forgetting his limping left leg and who only joined the competition to 'make up the numbers', is completely cat-a-hoop.  He has finally added the Office Fantasy Football League Championship Title to the OFFL Cup that he won last year.  And by a mere 5 points from Guy Harewood's Woolyback Town AFC too, who, in turn, can at least look back on the success of 2005/2006 for comfort when they too once lifted the trophy.

Alex Blundell is our final Manager of the Week as his team of no-hopers, Moanchester Utd, nipped in with 21 points lifting themselves two positions and cementing a final fifteenth place.  Yawn.

Malcolm Pratt's Fat Malcademicals completed their Arsenal parody by falling to fourth in the table after being unable to keep in touch with the leaders.  He will have to address the blunt 'Fancy Dan' play and the 'La-di-dah' passing game that leads his players to try walking the ball balletically into the net all the time.  A team whose performances are very much in their manager's own style.

Just One Finger Albion finished off the season with the traditional negative score while West Vam spluttered across the 200 point mark to claim the wooden spoon.  Meanwhile, Moobchester United managed to rise above the 'Total & Complete Dross' by finishing twenty-sixth as Bielby's Livercoolio reached for the line to finish third.  Congratulations to all on yet another fine season without fines.  [Mmm, the Chairman really must do something about that].

And talking of the Chairman, he's standing unopposed for re-election amid the usual allegations of impropriety.  Don't worry, you don't have to do nor understand anything.  Just turn up again next season and tell him how wonderful he his.  Next Year's OFFL Cup, for instance, will be hosted by Rob Ivison's 'All Hail The Chairman'.  Can't think why.

So, assuming the Chairman manages his annual pre-season escape from the clinic, we'll see you in August.

Have a happy Summer.

You're all rather wonderful.

The Studmarks Team
OFFL HQ
T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  8 422
 2 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  5 417
 3 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.9 14 414
 4 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt       52.8  7 409
 4 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.0 15 409
 6 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      52.4  6 393
 7 Budleigh Salterton FC  Ashley Keeler       54.6  3 383
 8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.3 14 381
 9 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7 11 375
10 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         54.9 18 356
11 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.6 10 350
12 Marmaduke's Army       Edgar Rayner        54.9 10 344
13 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0  5 340
14 Salad Dodgers          Sarah Bingham       53.5  6 336
15 Moanchester Utd        Alex Blundell       55.0 21 334
16 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        53.1  9 322
17 Dube Stars FC          Khumbula Dube       54.1 15 319
18 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.9  5 318
19 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          52.2  6 314
20 Irishpool              Mike Smears         52.3  4 305
20 Wymondham Wanderers    Steve Tierney       52.7  5 305
22 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.5  1 294
23 Nuttingham Florist     Andy Straw          52.2  2 283
24 Menarepigs3            Kate Wilson         54.2  1 266
25 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        52.9  1 261
26 Moobchester United     Jonathan King       54.9 12 244
27 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams        54.2 -2 236
28 Double's Utd           Rachel Jones        54.4  1 225
29 Mintal Disorder        Minty Colquhoun     52.7  9 214
30 West Vam               Tom Vamos           54.8 14 202




                          Week's Average Points         7
                          Total Average Points        325