T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.4 4 348
2 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 11 346
3 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 53.2 8 344
4 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 54.2 14 336
5 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 11 324
6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 16 319
7 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 52.6 11 310
8 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 3 306
8 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 8 306
10 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 24 301
11 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 14 296
12 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 2 292
13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 13 283
14 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 11 282
15 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 8 270
15 Irishpool Mike Smears 55.0 12 270
17 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 10 267
18 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 16 262
19 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 16 259
20 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 16 256
21 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 13 254
22 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 1 248
22 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 54.5 16 248
24 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 5 218
25 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 15 197
26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 12 196
27 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 9 188
28 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 16 167
29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 5 164
30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 19 139
Week's Average Points 11
Total Average Points 266
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But enough of that nonsense... in a break from tradition let us have a peek at the Transfer Submissions preceding the cup ties.
A reminder, first, of the fixtures...
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OFFL Cup Quarter Finals, Week 34
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Sheep City v Woolyback Town AFC
Pompey Puss v Salad Dodgers
Real Mcdrid v Moobchester United
Stay Poyet Stay! v RS T-Boy
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Woolyback Town AFC
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From: Guy Harewood
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Studmarks: OFFL Week 32
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Buttocks clenched and sweat wiped from brow. Is this the right thing to do and the right time to do it. Funk it (in case there are kids watching), here goes.
Dear Chair-chimp,
Please make the following changes to my top of the table team (fingers crossed they stay there).
Out
Kolo 'Slim' Toure
Bakary 'and coke' Sagna
Didier 'nothing springs to mind' Drogba
In
250 John 'JT' 'El Capitano' 'Divides Opinion' Terry
172 Ashely 'Shotgun' Cole
529 Andy 'Scouse' Carroll
Do it quick before I change my mind.
Love and hugs,
Benny
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Chairman responds:
You're actually trying to win this thing aren't you?
Cooool.
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And now for the results...
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OFFL Cup
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Quarter Finals, Results
Sheep City 13 v 4 Woolyback Town AFC
Pompey Puss 8 v 11 Salad Dodgers
Real Mcdrid* 16 v 16 Moobchester United
Stay Poyet Stay! 11 v 8 RS T-Boy
* Real Mcdrid go through on Points per Pound difference.
 |
| OK, so 'figurine' might be a rather glamorous descriptor. |
A paw performance from Pompey Puss also sees a fluffy exit for Lionel Larking as Sarah Bingham's Salad Dodgers mmmmiaow past, through to the Semi's.
Meanwhile, Moobchester United's sole mission to win the cup has finally died in a drawn draw against Real Mcdrid. The tie may have been tied but it was Real Mcdrid's Points Per Pound difference that proved superior.
The new favourite to lift the cup, and run off with the Fabio Capello 'figurine', is Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed's team shimmies past the great RS T-Boy while also jumping above his defeated opponent, Rick Beecroft, in the table. The League is looking forward to Mr Reed's inevitable ukulele cup anthem to storm the charts.
How terribly, terribly exciting.
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