The Draw for the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup

Not THAT Jonathan King.  This one.

Download your free mp3 from here

The OFFL Cup is a prestigious competition, possibly the longest-running soccer-based Fantasy Football Cup competition in the world.  In this OFFL podcast special we hear the draw for the semi-finals.  In the bag are Stay Poyet Stay!, Salad Dodgers, Sheep City and Real McDrid.  The winners of the fixtures will win one of the two prizes up for grabs, both 2010 World Cup figurines.

Simply breathtaking.

Courtesy of LittleSmasher.com

Thanks to Jonathan and Deborah King.

No, not that Jonathan King, honest.

Wave your mobile phone scanner at this to
download the podcast and
take it away with you to listen later

Week 37: Draw for the Semi Finals of the OFFL Cup

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.4 31 397

 2 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 31 395

 3 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt       52.8  7 377

 4 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      52.4 14 365

 5 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.9 27 360

 6 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.0 16 356

 7 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7 26 352

 8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.3 15 349

 9 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.6 11 329

 9 Budleigh Salterton FC  Ashley Keeler       54.6  8 329

11 Marmaduke's Army       Edgar Rayner        54.9 15 324

12 Salad Dodgers          Sarah Bingham       53.5 17 314

13 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.9 15 312

14 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         54.9 24 303

15 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0  2 301

16 Irishpool              Mike Smears         52.3 12 300

17 Wymondham Wanderers    Steve Tierney       52.7 11 298

18 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          52.2 16 293

19 Moanchester Utd        Alex Blundell       55.0  4 291

20 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.5 26 290

21 Dube Stars FC          Khumbula Dube       54.1 13 287

22 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.5  6 276

23 Nuttingham Florist     Andy Straw          52.2  3 272

24 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        52.9 17 245

25 Menarepigs3            Kate Wilson         54.2 22 233

26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams        54.2 11 218

27 Double's Utd           Rachel Jones        54.4 15 214

28 Mintal Disorder        Minty Colquhoun     52.7 13 193

29 Moobchester United     Jonathan King       54.9  8 187

30 West Vam               Tom Vamos           54.8 12 170

                          Week's Average Points        14

                          Total Average Points        297

---

Managers of the Week are Guy Harewood and Lionel Larking of Woolyback Town AFC and Pompey Puss respectively.  Together the teams amassed 62 points.  Together they dance off into this Easter sunshine sharing the MotW certifcate.  Just like Jesus would have wanted them to.


If you say 'Jesus' backwards it actually sounds a bit like 'Sausage'.


Just a thought.


Talking of our holiest of Shepherds, historically this small period of the year doesn't start off particularly well for the Flock all round really.  Sheep City Down Three.

Eh up?

The OFFL Cup Semi-Finals

========================

Stay Poyet Stay!   v   Real McDrid

       Nick Reed       Craig McHugh

      Sheep City   v   Salad Dodgers

    Martyn Field       Sarah Bingham

It's all been said on the OFFL Podcast: "The Draw for the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup"


Download it from here "http://j.mp/2011-OFFL-SemiFinalsDraw" or go to the OFFL blog thingy ... http://offl.littlesmasher.com

Week 36: OMG

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt       52.8 16 370
 2 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.4  9 366
 3 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      53.2  5 364
 4 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.2  6 351
 5 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.6 23 340
 6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.3 11 334
 7 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.9  1 333
 8 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7 13 326
 9 Budleigh Salterton FC  Ashley Keeler       54.6 16 321
10 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.6  6 318
11 Marmaduke's Army       Edgar Rayner        54.9  7 309
12 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0 13 299
13 Salad Dodgers          Sarah Bingham       53.5  8 297
13 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.9  0 297
15 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 10 288
16 Wymondham Wanderers    Steve Tierney       52.7 12 287
16 Moanchester Utd        Alex Blundell       55.0 12 287
18 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         54.9 13 279
19 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          52.2 15 277
20 Dube Stars FC          Khumbula Dube       54.1 10 274
21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.5 11 270
22 Nuttingham Florist     Andy Straw          52.2  6 269
23 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.5  7 264
24 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        52.9  3 228
25 Menarepigs3            Kate Wilson         54.2  9 211
26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams        54.2  5 207
27 Double's Utd           Rachel Jones        54.4  3 199
28 Mintal Disorder        Minty Colquhoun     52.7  6 180
29 Moobchester United     Jonathan King       54.9 12 179
30 West Vam               Tom Vamos           54.8 13 158




                          Week's Average Points         9
                          Total Average Points        282
---

O. M. G. As they* say.

Like a boxer on acid rapidly slapping the maize ball training thingy, Fat Mal is fighting as hard as his lardy bingo wings will allow without causing him too much chaffing. His Malcademicals barge through to the front of this ever-changing race for the League title with a very healthy score of 16 points.

Only six points seperate the top three.

Pratt, Harewood & Larking: OFFL Law firm fighting for the top

Meanwhile, Stay Poyet Stay! - now rid of the bind that is 'watching Brighton get promoted to the Championship' - are putting in a late challenge for the Double. Surely not. They can't. Can they?

With only a few weeks to go Mr Reed'll need a few more Manager of the Week certificates to bridge that 30 point gap. Won't he? Yes, this week's certificate goes to Stay Poyet Stay! manager Nick Reed for the impressive 23 point week's haul.

In the background, the sound of a ukulele being tuned is pinging around the room.

---
* Awful, awful, awful people.


OFFL Cup Semi Finals
Will take place in Week 38 so the following teams need to get their transfers in NOW.

Sheep City, Salad Dodgers, Real Mcdrid, Stay Poyet Stay!

The draw will take place later on this week and will be announced on twitter.com/OFFL.

Week 35

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      53.2 15 359

 2 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.4  9 357

 3 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt       52.8  8 354

 4 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.2  9 345

 5 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.9  8 332

 6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.3  4 323

 7 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.6  7 317

 8 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7  7 313

 9 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.6  6 312

10 Budleigh Salterton FC  Ashley Keeler       54.6  4 305

11 Marmaduke's Army       Edgar Rayner        54.9  6 302

12 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.9  5 297

13 Salad Dodgers          Sarah Bingham       53.5  7 289

14 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0  3 286

15 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  8 278

16 Wymondham Wanderers    Steve Tierney       52.7  5 275

16 Moanchester Utd        Alex Blundell       55.0  8 275

18 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         54.9  4 266

19 Dube Stars FC          Khumbula Dube       54.1 10 264

20 Nuttingham Florist     Andy Straw          52.2  4 263

21 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          52.2 14 262

22 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.5  3 259

23 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.5  9 257

24 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        52.9  7 225

25 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams        54.2  6 202

25 Menarepigs3            Kate Wilson         54.2  5 202

27 Double's Utd           Rachel Jones        54.4  8 196

28 Mintal Disorder        Minty Colquhoun     52.7 10 174

29 Moobchester United     Jonathan King       54.9  0 167

30 West Vam               Tom Vamos           54.8  6 145

                          Week's Average Points         6

                          Total Average Points        273

---

His mum loves him

Last week's disappointment of being kicked out of cup by some Salad Dodgers has been moggily mollified by the excitment of a near purrfect week that sees Pompey Puss tickled to the top of the table AND manager Lionel Larking win the Manager of the Week certificate. It's enough to make one paws for thought. All Hail The Chairman's Rob Ivison just missed out on the certificate to the cat by one point as Lionel lapped up 15 points.

Meanwhile, Paddy Mirams' Just One Finger Albion and Kate Wilson's Menarepigs3 finally drag themselves across the 200 point mark while Minty Colquhoun re-siezes Twenty-Eighth place from Jonathan King: his own Moobs failing to score a thing this week.

Next Week: Draw for the semi finals of the OFFL Cup.

---

Blg  http://offl.littlesmasher.com

Twt  http://twitter.com/OFFL

FBk  http://j.mp/FB-OFFL

------------------------------------------------------------

T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

============================================================

Stay Poyet Stay!

-------------------

   From: Nick Reed

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Subject: Studmarks: OFFL Week 33/34

Hi Smash,

For the big push to the cup, I'd like to make the following change:

IN:

123   GK  J Hart            MC

OUT:

131   GK  T Sorensen       STO

I am now going to concentrate on all the fantastic rhyming opportunities that a team name of Stay Poyet Stay! gives me for the cup final ukulele song...!

Nick

----------------------

Chairman responds:

Here at OFFL HQ, we don't look kindly on empty promises of audio gold.

Week 33/34: OFFL Quarter Final Results

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.4  4 348

 2 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt       52.8 11 346

 3 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      53.2  8 344

 4 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.2 14 336

 5 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.9 11 324

 6 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.3 16 319

 7 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.6 11 310

 8 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.7  3 306

 8 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.6  8 306

10 Budleigh Salterton FC  Ashley Keeler       54.6 24 301

11 Marmaduke's Army       Edgar Rayner        54.9 14 296

12 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.9  2 292

13 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0 13 283

14 Salad Dodgers          Sarah Bingham       53.5 11 282

15 Wymondham Wanderers    Steve Tierney       52.7  8 270

15 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 12 270

17 Moanchester Utd        Alex Blundell       55.0 10 267

18 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         54.9 16 262

19 Nuttingham Florist     Andy Straw          52.2 16 259

20 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         53.5 16 256

21 Dube Stars FC          Khumbula Dube       54.1 13 254

22 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          52.2  1 248

22 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.5 16 248

24 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        52.9  5 218

25 Menarepigs3            Kate Wilson         54.2 15 197

26 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams        54.2 12 196

27 Double's Utd           Rachel Jones        54.4  9 188

28 Moobchester United     Jonathan King       54.9 16 167

29 Mintal Disorder        Minty Colquhoun     52.7  5 164

30 West Vam               Tom Vamos           54.8 19 139

                          Week's Average Points        11

                          Total Average Points        266

---

Manager of the Week, Ashley Keeler, has managed to steer his steers, Budleigh Salterton FC, to weekly tally of 24 points. More than double the week's mean score.

But enough of that nonsense... in a break from tradition let us have a peek at the Transfer Submissions preceding the cup ties.

A reminder, first, of the fixtures...

=======================

OFFL Cup Quarter Finals, Week 34

---

Sheep City       v  Woolyback Town AFC

Pompey Puss      v  Salad Dodgers

Real Mcdrid      v  Moobchester United

Stay Poyet Stay! v  RS T-Boy

------------------------------------------------------------

T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

============================================================

Woolyback Town AFC

-------------------

   From: Guy Harewood

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Subject: Studmarks: OFFL Week 32

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Buttocks clenched and sweat wiped from brow. Is this the right thing to do and the right time to do it. Funk it (in case there are kids watching), here goes.

Dear Chair-chimp,

Please make the following changes to my top of the table team (fingers crossed they stay there).

Out

Kolo 'Slim' Toure

Bakary 'and coke' Sagna

Didier 'nothing springs to mind' Drogba

In

250 John 'JT' 'El Capitano' 'Divides Opinion' Terry

172 Ashely 'Shotgun' Cole

529 Andy 'Scouse' Carroll

Do it quick before I change my mind.

Love and hugs,

Benny

----------------------

Chairman responds:

You're actually trying to win this thing aren't you?

Cooool.

===========================================================

And now for the results...

========

OFFL Cup

--------

Quarter Finals, Results

     Sheep City   13 v   4  Woolyback Town AFC

    Pompey Puss    8 v  11  Salad Dodgers

    Real Mcdrid*  16 v  16  Moobchester United

Stay Poyet Stay!  11 v   8  RS T-Boy

* Real Mcdrid go through on Points per Pound difference.

OK, so 'figurine' might be a rather glamorous descriptor.

So there you have it, it looks like the Double will not be happening this season as current league leaders, Woolyback Town AFC get flocked as they're hoofed out of the cup by some Sheep.

A paw performance from Pompey Puss also sees a fluffy exit for Lionel Larking as Sarah Bingham's Salad Dodgers mmmmiaow past, through to the Semi's.

Meanwhile, Moobchester United's sole mission to win the cup has finally died in a drawn draw against Real Mcdrid. The tie may have been tied but it was Real Mcdrid's Points Per Pound difference that proved superior.

The new favourite to lift the cup, and run off with the Fabio Capello 'figurine', is Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed's team shimmies past the great RS T-Boy while also jumping above his defeated opponent, Rick Beecroft, in the table. The League is looking forward to Mr Reed's inevitable ukulele cup anthem to storm the charts.

How terribly, terribly exciting.