It seems that the Premier League has finally gone fantasy mad. OFFL officials thought it bad enough to have one A Ramsay grazing his knees on the top flight's hallowed turf but now there is a Pele. And we're not referring to P Pele of West Brom. No, we're talking about Pele. Portsmouth's new Midfielder.
What next we wonder? Maradonna looking for a house on the outskirts of Hull? Or was that J Cruyff we saw in that Wigan estate agents?
Actually it was neither. We were just trying to find an interesting opening to what would have been another dull and uninteresting Studmarks. Now on to the dull and uninteresting bits...
Managers of the Week are, thanks to a particularly low scoring week, Russ Bielby of Livercoolio, Lionel Larking of Pompey Puss and Poof of the North, Mark Norman, all of whom score an enormous 5 points.
All eyes, wincing beneath concerned and screwed-up eyebrows, are still on Metatarsenal's believably poor season. There, at the bottom of the league. And, amazingly, still in the cup. Gavin?
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