Friday, 3 June 2016

Week 41: Season Finale

Some say it was a surprise
OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 2014/2015
Minty's Minions, managed by Minty Colquhoun on a score of 446 points

OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE RUNNERS UP 2014/2015
Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau, managed by Guy Harewood on a score of 400 points

Well there we have it. It's official.  At last.  The lame beast that was 'OFFL 2015/2016' has finally been shot through the temporal bone and put out of its misery.  Indeed, Minty Colquhoun has wiped the floor with the rest of the competition - an amazing margin of 46 points has claimed her first ever Office Fantasy League Championship. And it was a lead that had established itself some weeks ago, wasn't it?  Yes.

Congratulations lovely lady.  This is a fully deserved victory.

In the far distance, behind Minty's Minions' lunge for the line, limps Guy Harewood's disastrously monikered Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau.  Livercoolio failed to overtake the 2006 OFFL Champion by just 3 points as Mr Harewood makes it to 400 points and secures the Runners Up position for 2015/2016.

Manager of the Week, and finally securing her twentieth place in the league, is Karyn Meaden.  Her Bad Wolf United scooped 24 points.  Congratulations Ma'am, may this be incentive enough for you to rejoin us next season.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Since rebuilding his team after the OFFL Championship winning side of 2003, Rick Beecroft has come close to repeating that league success thrice, as runners up in 2009, 2010 and 2015.  Rick's cup successes, however, have been limited to defeated finalists in 2014.

And his luck hasn't changed this year...

==============
OFFL Cup FINAL
--------------
RESULT

        Inter Milandrover  6 v 0  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher         Rick Beecroft

Yes, the Louis Van Goaal biography goes to Smasher for going one better than being 2001's defeated finalist and winning the OFFL Cup for the first time ever.  What's that?  The Inter Milandrover manager has generously decided to hand the prize to uber Man United fan Moobchester United?  Yes, recent father and current successful-proposer-of-marriage Jon King will have hours of precious bedtime reading in between trips to the cot of a screaming infant.  Congratulations all round, Sir.  But especially on the receiving of the Louis Van Goaal biography.

And so here is the information that we all wish we had 42 weeks ago...

Top Scoring Players
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90
    132 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81
    806 ST S Aguero        MC   £ 8.4    80
    111 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73
    112 ST R Lukaku        EVE  £ 6.8    68
    851 ST O Giroud        ARS  £ 7.2    60
    137 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58
    152 ST T Deeney        WAT  £ 5.8    57
    148 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56
    151 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52
    807 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51
    139 ST G Pelle         SOT  £ 6.5    51
    166 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50
    109 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50
    126 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50
    106 ST D Costa         CHE  £ 7.8    50


Best Value for Money, [Points per Pound]
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts   Pts/£
-------------------------------------------------------
    102 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73  19.21
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90  16.07
    132 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50  14.29
    806 FB C Fuchs         LEI  £ 3.5    48  13.71
    111 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51  12.75
    112 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52  12.38
    851 MF M Arnautovic    STO  £ 3.8    47  12.37
    137 CB R Huth          LEI  £ 3.5    42  12.00
    152 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50  11.90
    148 MF S Mane          SOT  £ 4.3    49  11.40
    151 FB D Simpson       LEI  £ 3.3    37  11.21
    807 CB T Alderweireld  TOT  £ 4.2    47  11.19
    139 MF G Wijnaldum     NEW  £ 4.1    45  10.98
    166 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81  10.95
    109 CB W Morgan        LEI  £ 3.5    38  10.86
    126 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58  10.36
    106 MF R Barkley       EVE  £ 4.1    42  10.24
    169 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50  10.20
    899 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56  10.18


Top Scoring Goalkeepers
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    122 GK P Cech          ARS  £ 4.2    35
    216 GK K Schmeichel    LEI  £ 3.4    32
    234 GK D De Gea        MU   £ 4.1    31
    205 GK J Hart          MC   £ 4.3    29
    251 GK H Lloris        TOT  £ 3.9    29


Top Scoring Full Backs
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    151 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52
    108 FB C Fuchs         LEI  £ 3.5    48
    103 FB N Monreal       ARS  £ 4.3    42
    197 FB K Walker        TOT  £ 4.0    38
    114 FB D Simpson       LEI  £ 3.3    37
    828 FB D Rose          TOT  £ 4.1    34
    206 FB B Sagna         MC   £ 4.3    33
    236 FB A Kolarov       MC   £ 4.6    33
    230 FB M Darmian       MU   £ 4.3    32


Top Scoring Centre Backs
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    107 CB T Alderweireld  TOT  £ 4.2    47
    118 CB L Koscielny     ARS  £ 4.5    43
    110 CB R Huth          LEI  £ 3.5    42
    141 CB C Smalling      MU   £ 4.3    40
    896 CB E Dier          TOT  £ 4.1    39
    865 CB W Morgan        LEI  £ 3.5    38
    277 CB V Kompany       MC   £ 4.6    30


Top Scoring Midfielders
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    111 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73
    148 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56
    807 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51
    166 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50
    109 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50
    126 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50
    169 MF S Mane          SOT  £ 4.3    49
    121 MF R Firmino       LIV  £ 4.8    48
    189 MF M Arnautovic    STO  £ 3.8    47
    895 MF G Wijnaldum     NEW  £ 4.1    45
    117 MF R Barkley       EVE  £ 4.1    42
    120 MF G Sigurdsson    SWA  £ 4.6    41


Top Scoring Strikers
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90
    132 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81
    806 ST S Aguero        MC   £ 8.4    80
    112 ST R Lukaku        EVE  £ 6.8    68
    851 ST O Giroud        ARS  £ 7.2    60
    137 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58
    152 ST T Deeney        WAT  £ 5.8    57
    139 ST G Pelle         SOT  £ 6.5    51
    106 ST D Costa         CHE  £ 7.8    50
    899 ST A Sanchez       ARS  £ 7.5    49
    125 ST J Defoe         SUN  £ 5.8    47
    147 ST A Ayew          SWA  £ 6.1    46
    119 ST A Martial       MU   £ 6.9    43

So that's it and, with enormous thanks for your contribution, we say farewell to the 2015/2016 season [CUE MONTAGE OF SEASON'S HIGHLIGHTS]. You've all been marvellous [yes, all of you].

Happy Birthday to Mr Nick Reed - a fine finish to leave your Guess Hughton fourth.  Champions League-worthy stuff indeed.  As soon as you picked your team it practically drove itself. [DYSWIDT?]

May Euro 2016 be wonderful.

Ciao for now.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6  9 446
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  4 400
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  8 397
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 14 388
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  6 381
 6 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0  2 379
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  2 372
 8 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 14 348
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 14 347
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9  0 345
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  1 338
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7  4 335
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 14 329
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 15 328
15 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  1 325
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 10 319
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  6 303
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 11 296
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  1 288
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 24 248
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 12 233
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 11 216


                              Week's Average Points     8
                              Total Average Points    334


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