Week 33: Will No One Rid Me of this Troublesome Pushchair?

The Poorest Gag of the Studmarks Season So Far

Mike Smears is still with us.  The bedside vigil has been keeping his weak pulse registering a gentle beeping on the heart monitor machine.  It was the news this week that his Irishpool have won him a Manager of the Week certificate that brought him out of the coma, a coma which he slipped into after pressing send on his last ranting email.

According to his wife, Christine, he's been sitting up in bed joking with the nurses.  In case he relapses, it mustn't be mentioned that he has to share the certificate with Guy Harewood, whose 'Bird Is The Word' inspired 'Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau' also scored 20 points this week.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to OMG Chairman, the order he barked to the governess of his two sired mini-mes was taken a little too seriously by Newcastle's Chairman Mike cAshley: The Governess couldn't decide which pushchair to retrieve from the boot of the Rolls so he flippantly blurted "Get the MacLaren out!".  And the rest is history.

Eat your heart out Henry II.

And that's about as good as it's going to get for this week.  It's now up to you to press the big red button in front of you that'll turn your 'The Voice'-like throne around in acceptance of yet another poorly warbled-out Studmarks.

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OFFL Cup

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Quarter Finals

To be played over Week 35

Radnorshire Tigers    v     Neil's Diamonds

Alun Edwards                 Neil McConaghy

Which Team            v   Inter Milandrover

Rachel Jones                        Smasher

RS-TBOY               v       Guess Hughton

Rick Beecroft                     Nick Reed

Moobchester United    v      Moreton Rovers

Jon King                       Edgar Rayner

Louis Van Goaaal WANTS YOU to read his biography.  

Scratch that - the AUTHOR of the Louis Van Goaaal biography WANTS YOU to read his autobiography on Louis Van Goaaal.  It's about Louis Van Goaaal apparently.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 14 360

 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 13 312

 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.6 14 308

 4 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  9 308

 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  6 306

 6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 20 299

 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 11 297

 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  9 282

 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 11 266

10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 10 264

11 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    51.2  6 263

12 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  4 262

13 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  3 258

14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 10 251

15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 14 248

16 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 19 241

17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 13 239

18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  0 234

19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0 20 230

20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  7 200

21 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  5 163

22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  3 158

                              Week's Average Points    10

                              Total Average Points    261

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