Week 17: Sharpen your pencils

The OFFL Cup First Round is acoming

Managers of the Week are Russell Bielby and Edgar Rayner.  Their Livercoolio and Moreton Rovers respectively are shooting up the charts and now occupy places Fifth and Ninth.

Next week's Table standings will be used to distribute the teams into the first round groups of the OFFL Cup stage from which six teams will be eliminated.

Sharpen your transfer slip pencil.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5 13 175
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7  2 144
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8  4 136
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  4 130
 5 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 16 129
 6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    52.1 11 128
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 10 127
 8 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 11 126
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 16 122
10 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  5 122

Week 15 & 16: NOW can I have my Beano?

Like a stroppy teenager naively flaunting its newly found pseudo-independence, Studmarks strolls nonchalantly back into your inbox without a hint of an explanation of where it has been since you let go of its hand at the checkout while you fished out the correct coins to pay for its usual copy of The Beano.

We shall wait till our father gets home for the punishment, yes.

NOW can we have our Beano please, Mum?

Manager of the Week this week is Jon King.  His Moobchester United scored a wobblingly chubbing 21 points pushing his Moobs up firmly into sixth.  Not a bad platform for this week's transfers, eh Mr King?

And OFFL Cup News... Genuine prize in the offing for OFFL Cup this year, as donated to the cause by a current manager who wishes to remain blameless - Ali McMoist's. The autobiography of the current Manchester United Manager, Louis Van Goal.  Brand new copy and everything.  Unfingered. Unsoiled. And for those who have received their OFFL Cup Winners prizes in the past: Unbelievable.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 49.8 19 162
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 11 142
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 20 132
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 18 126
 5 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    52.1 20 117
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 21 117
 7 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 15 117
 8 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 12 115
 9 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7  7 113
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.2  4 108

Week 14: Moving swiftly on

Managers of the Week for Week 14 are Dave Clayton and Mike Smears.  Their Pyeators and Irishpool respectively both notched up 15 points.

Moving swiftly on...

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 49.8  8 143
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 15 131
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8  7 112
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  6 108
 5 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 10 106
 6 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.2 13 104
 7 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3  5 103
 8 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 14 102
 9 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  1  98
10 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    50.8 11  97

Week 13: Major Movements

Leicester's Reg Vardy: making a few more appearances.

As Minty's Minions open up a 19 point gap at the top of the table, there's been some major movement in the transfer market this week with Messrs Reg Vardy LEI, Lion's Mane SOT and Mahrez LEI making a few more appearances in the Teams Section.  This means that certain managers are really motoring through their Transfer Quota for the season.

TABLE TO SHOW TRANSFERS REMAINING [TR] 
--------------------------------------
Specifically For Teams Without The Full Quota Of Transfers Remaining [12]

Rnk/Name                      Manager         Value TR
------------------------------------------------------
 7 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7   5
20 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5   5
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     52.0   6
 9 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.2   7
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9   8
11 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    50.8   8
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8   9
14 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.8   9
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 49.8   10
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9   10
 6 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0   11

Interesting to see that current Champions, Livercoolio, are the most trigger-happy with those transfer bullets.  Is this Desperation in action?

Yes.  Yes, it is.

Meanwhile, Rachel Jones waves her Manager of the Week certificate like a delieriously happy A Level student with a results slip full of A's.  Congratulations Ma'am, your Which Team conjured up a large 20 points for you, pushing you up two places into Fifteenth.

Carry on everyone.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 49.8 19 135
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9  1 116
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 12 105
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  3 102
 5 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 13  98
 6 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0 -1  97
 7 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 17  96
 8 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6  7  93
 9 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.2 16  91
10 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 12  88
11 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.9  7  86
12 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  0  84
13 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  9  84
14 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.8  5  83
15 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 20  80
16 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 11  78
17 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  4  67
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.5  9  57
19 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6 13  56
20 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.3 16  49
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  4  47
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  3  47


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points     83



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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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Moreton Rovers
-------------------
   From: Edgar Rayner
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Re: Winning MotW

Second time this season, the team are starting to gel nicely!

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Best not look at this week's weekly score, eh?

=============================

RS-TBOY
-------------------
   From: Rick Beecroft
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Hi [Chair],

Injury subs for the next month… got to be done (reluctantly)

OUT
Aguero
Chadli

IN
603 Kane
443 Mahrez

Cinkyou pleze

Kind Regards

Rick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You little tinkerer. 7 transfers remaining.

=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Right Mr Presidente!!!

Ive had enough of the impertinence of these young managers who are forcing Irishpool into lowly 99th place - same as my age - and so with the following transfers I propose to begin my steep climb to my rightful position at the head of OFFL.

Therefore, please be so good, Young Man, as to implement the following.

Yours preposterously

Bristling from Bassett

OUT
253 Zabaleta
425 Ramsey
621 Gomis

IN
266 Sagna
553 Sigurdsson
614 Vardy

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Interesting swappage.  Do you know something about Sigurdsson that we don't?  Nice intel' if so.  A sorry shake of the head if not.

=============================

Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau
-------------------
   From: GUY HAREWOOD
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

OK Chair chimp,

Time for a few more changes.

In with Vardy (614) out with Rooney.
In with De Gea (189) out with Courtois.
In with Bellerin (278) out with Ivanovic.

Cheers,

Ray

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Ivanovic going, is he?  About bloody

=============================

Real Macdrid
-------------------
   From: Craig McHugh
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Mr Chairman

Think i need to make a few changes your honour… I’ve some right criminals on the team at the moment..

Out 
245   FB  C Azpilicueta
226   FB  N Clyne 
353   CB  J Lescott
581   MF  S Sidwell
541   MF  J Walters
621   ST  B Gomis
684   ST  S Aguero 

In
249   FB  G Johnson
241   FB  A Cresswell
336   CB  V Kompany
465   MF  S Mane
445   MF R Mahrez
645   ST A Ayew
624   ST A Sanchez

The prosecution here rests...

Craig McHugh

----------------------
Chairman responds:
I think they made a special appearance on last month's Crimewatch, in fact.

=============================