Monday, 30 April 2012

Week 37: OFFL Cup Semi Final RESULTS

We have a FINAL!  In fact we have a thrilling end to the season altogether.  No, seriously, we do.

First here's the cup...

============================
OFFL Cup Semi Finals RESULTS
----------------------------

Radnorshire Tigers  8 v  9  Shamone Muddy Funksters
Lashings of Cheese  6 v 14  BM Mingmongs

It's a cruel game when Alun Edwards, with so many Manager of the Week certificates stuffed in his underpants, will [in all probability] walk away from the season with NOTHING to show for it.  Congratulations though to Dave Clayton of the Muddy Funksters and 2008 League Champion Neil McConaghy of BM Mingmongs who both go through to this year's final.


Talking of Manager of the Week Certificates, this week's has gone to Russell Bielby.  His Livercoolio scored a wopping 20 points throwing him up into seventh.  Meanwhile at the top is Smasher's Inter Milandrover wrestling with Sarah Bingbong's Norma Snockers. It's a challenge he seems to have been enjoying despite seeing a 4 point cut in his lead over her.  No, Francis, not the lead worn by her.

So, with only two weeks of Premiership nonsense still remaining it seems like a canny management ploy for Smasher to transfer in two of Sarah's players. Or is that a cynical move designed to suffocate the league's diversity?

The Chairman's keeping quiet... and waiting to receive Norma's last changes.

What a SEASON!


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.8 10 461
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       55.0 14 455
 3 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.7  8 432
 4 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.4  5 418
 5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.8  9 403
 6 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8 14 386
 7 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      53.6 20 382
 8 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7  8 381
 8 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          55.0 11 381
10 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 16 368

Monday, 23 April 2012

Week 36: OFFL Cup Semi Final Draw


Alun Edwards makes a last desperate attempt to get himself in the running for the number 1 spot by becoming this week's Manager of the Week.  Indeed, his Radnorshire Tigers notched up a very impressive 48 points leaving only 27 between themselves and Inter Milandrover.

This of course means Stay Poyet Stay!, now in fourth, is in all probability, out of the race.  Manager Nick Reed is said to be recovering in hospital.

The game is also, in all probability, up for Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wanderers who lost 10 points worth of ground to thirty-fourth place, It's A Snickers. Ashley Keeler, Manager of the Snickers, was last seen fist-pumping the air.

Up five, Rs T-boy. Up four, Shivam's Sneakers.  Down four...

Minty, how did you manage that score?

Happy Birthday to Neil Jukes last week by the way.  Mid-table mediocrity is the only present you'll be getting this year.

So, with only a 10 point gap at the top, it's still all to play for.  As is...

========================
The OFFL Cup Semi Finals
------------------------


Radnorshire Tigers v Shamone Muddy Funksters
Lashings of Cheese v BM Mingmongs

to be played Wk 37



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.8 27 451
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       55.0 20 441
 3 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.7 48 424
 4 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.4 20 413
 5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.8 20 394
 6 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 15 373
 7 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8 11 372
 8 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          55.0 32 370
 9 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 28 364
10 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      53.6  8 362

Monday, 16 April 2012

Week 35: OFFL Cup Results


Neil mcConaghy is Manager of the Week with 30 points for his BM Mingmongs.  Inter Milandrover manages to hold on to the number one spot by slim bit of a slender thing.

This truly is the Squeaky Bum part of the season.


==============================
OFFL Cup Quarter Final Results
------------------------------


  BM Mingmongs       30 v  17 Stay Poyet Stay!
  Chi'Knees Czechers 18 v  24 Shamone Muddy Funksters
  Lashings of Cheese 16 v  11 Phillham
  Double's United     7 v  22 Radnorshire Tigers
  
Which means Neil McConaghy's joy continues into the Semi Finals with Dave Clayton's, Chris Walsh's and Alun Edwards'.


There's so much at stake! http://j.mp/zpilrb



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.8 19 424
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       55.0 19 421
 3 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.4 17 393
 4 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.7 22 376
 5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.8 24 374
 6 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8 30 361
 7 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 18 358
 8 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      53.6 29 354
 9 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          55.0 19 338
10 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  8 336

Monday, 9 April 2012

Week 34: 400 Points

Smasher, caressing his way to the tip I mean top
It's taken some weeks of jiggery pokery in the transfer market but Inter Milandrover have finally managed to pinch, poach and caress the number one spot from Norma Snockers.  Could it be this year, THIS YEAR, that the ever-present, under-rewarded Inter Milandrover nick the title in the last few weeks?

Well, clearly we can't actually answer that question until the season finishes but it wasted an opening paragraph that upstaged the real news which is that Alun Edwards has ONCE AGAIN become Manager of the Week!  His Tigers notched up 19 points.  MORE than any other team.

I don't know what this unnecessary capitalisation is all about either.

SO, to the cup.

TO THE CUP! [better]

=====================
OFFL Cup Third Round
---------------------
Quarter Finals, Wk35


      BM Mingmongs v Stay Poyet Stay!
Chi'Knees Czechers v Shamone Muddy Funksters
Lashings of Cheese v Phillham
   Double's United v Radnorshire Tigers
 
Interesting to see that the two Czech boys are still in the [egg] hunt.  And they'd do a better job of it for a cheaper price and be happier for it too, I can tell you.

Also interesting to note that you will have no time to make any transfers for this round.  That was generous of the Chairman, wasn't it?




T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             52.8 18 405
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 10 402
 3 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.4 17 376
 4 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.7 19 354
 5 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.8 11 350
 6 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7  2 340
 7 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8  9 331
 8 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 11 328
 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      53.6 16 325
10 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 -1 322

Monday, 2 April 2012

Week 33: Five Points In It


The tension mounts...

There comes a point in a season when everyone, here at OFFL HQ, can feel something odd happen.  It's often accompanied by a shiver down the back of the spine.  And indeed it is this week that a shift in the mood of the gods has been detected.

A Turning Point.

Usually, of course, when a Turning Point happens the very next week it all goes back to normal and we realise it was just the clocks going forward.

So this season's 'turning point' [which, this time next week, we'll know has come to nothing and has evaporated into a small cloud of ruddy-cheeked, embarrassed nostalgia] is the news that our Manager of the Week this week is Inter Milandrover's Smasher with a score of 18 points.

...for some managers at any rate.
Why the 'turning point'? I hear you ask... well, Smasher's team of Every-Years are Second in the League and have been eating away at the lead of Norma Snockers for a while.  It's been this week however that just as he gives notice to one of his players [Larsson SUN] then said player scores two goals for him as a farewell present. Not only that but the player coming in scores yet another week's goal as if to say 'look at what's coming into your team sunshine'.  And now Smasher's MotW!

Basically, things are going a bit too right for Inter Milandrover.  It has to stop.

Top two teams are now 5 points apart.

In other news, Highest Climber this week scales up SIX places in the league landing Alun Edwards in sixth place. Fame at last.

Don't look at Adriana Chittelborough. She'll get upset.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7  6 392
 2 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             53.2 18 387
 3 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           53.4 17 359
 4 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        53.8  9 339
 5 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 53.7 -3 338
 6 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.7 13 335
 7 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  9 323
 8 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      53.8  5 322
 9 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 -1 317
10 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          55.0 15 313