Week 24: Low Scoring Week and Not the Heroes of '66

It seems that the Premier League has finally gone fantasy mad. OFFL officials thought it bad enough to have one A Ramsay grazing his knees on the top flight's hallowed turf but now there is a Pele. And we're not referring to P Pele of West Brom. No, we're talking about Pele. Portsmouth's new Midfielder.

What next we wonder? Maradonna looking for a house on the outskirts of Hull? Or was that J Cruyff we saw in that Wigan estate agents?

Actually it was neither. We were just trying to find an interesting opening to what would have been another dull and uninteresting Studmarks. Now on to the dull and uninteresting bits...

Managers of the Week are, thanks to a particularly low scoring week, Russ Bielby of Livercoolio, Lionel Larking of Pompey Puss and Poof of the North, Mark Norman, all of whom score an enormous 5 points.

All eyes, wincing beneath concerned and screwed-up eyebrows, are still on Metatarsenal's believably poor season. There, at the bottom of the league. And, amazingly, still in the cup. Gavin?

Week 23

Manager of the Week, notching up 17 points, is Ant Reeves. His Ant & Bex secure Fourth Place even more surely and starts to chip away gently at the lead of those above.

In the meantime, some managers may have noticed the matrix warp for a few seconds at some point on Thursday last. Indeed the Force was disturbed when the machine that drives the entire OFFL operation blew up horribly, causing irreversible damage. Luckily, the Umpa Lumpa tasked with handwriting all the documents as a back-up had just finished his week's copying, so we're still up and running. Somewhat. Somehow.

Week 22: Round One RESULTS

Manager of the Week is our leader Rick Beecroft whose RS T-Boy notched up a massive 26 points pushing them 19 points away from second place BM Mingmongs.

But what of their progress in the cup?


OFFL Cup
Round One, Results

Poof of the North 31 v 35 Two Owls
Mannschester Rovers 30 v 37 Rayner Midriff
Metatarsenal 7 v 8 Tat Mucker
Dube Stars FC 28 v 20 Giving It Some Thought
Upmintster United 32 v 12 Two-Oh-Ten
BM Mingmongs 59 v 52 Decimated Left Peg
Straw Bucharest 42 v 29 Jordan Utd
Windmill United 16 v 42 Abeerden
Olymping Macdrid 51 v 77 RS T-Boy
Woolyback Town AFC 41 v 29 Mal
Charlie's Angels 25 v 49 Inter Milandrover
Pompey Puss 45 v 30 Book My Face
Ant & Bex 57 v 51 Livercoolio FC


Which means you are through if you are amongst the following managers...

Andy Straw
Alun Edwards
Campbell Tierney
Chris Brown
Edgar Rayner
Mat Tucker
Khumbula Dube
Minty Colquhoun
Neil McConaghy
Hilary Straw
Steve Tierney
Rick Beecroft
Guy Harewood
Smasher
Lionel Larking
Ant Reeves

Congratulations.

You're a step closer to THE PRIZE!


* For some reason there have been some adjustments to some players scores. For somewhy. The OFFL can't explain this because they don't know why.

Week 21: Final Leg of the First Round of the OFFL Cup

Manager of the Week is BM Mingmongs chief, Neil McConaghy. His team scored 9 points for the week bringing his total of Manager of the Week Certificates to, well, two.

Surely this makes him favourite to beat his opponent in BM Mingmong's OFFL Cup fixture? One more week of scores to go!

OFFL Cup

Results after Weeks 20 and 21.

Poof of the North 13 v 24 Two Owls
Mannschester Rovers 28 v 19 Rayner Midriff
Metatarsenal 9 v 8 Tat Mucker
Dube Stars FC 17 v 10 Giving It Some Thought
Upmintster United 25 v 4 Two-Oh-Ten
BM Mingmongs 44 v 41 Decimated Left Peg
Straw Bucharest 39 v 25 Jordan Utd
Windmill United 16 v 33 Abeerden
Olymping Macdrid 39 v 51 RS T-Boy
Woolyback Town AFC 30 v 23 Mal
Charlie's Angels 22 v 41 Inter Milandrover
Pompey Puss 34 v 18 Book My Face
Ant & Bex 44 v 44 Livercoolio FC

And forget ye not, this is what it's all for....