Week 33: OFFL Cup Quarter-Finals Results

Manager of the Week is Minty 'Always Moaning About Bent Being Bench Bound Every Bloody Blinkin' Week' Colquhoun. I know, it’s a name you couldn't make up. 24 points earns Upmintster United's Manager the certificate [not supplied] at last.

However, it's the Cup we're all talking about. Wondering if the seemingly inevitable has, in fact, been realised...

Sigh.

OFFL Cup

Quarter Finals, Results

Marauding Metatarsals '07	14	v	22	TriumphAnt
Abeerden	11	v	20	Livercoolio
Big Mac's Mingmongs	9	v	15	Wonka FC
Waldron's Wanderers	20	v	9	Olymping Macdrid

Amazing. The League's first and second placings get dumped out of the cup by their nearest rivals. Meanwhile, two Real-Sense boys make it through to the next round - a fine show from arguably the best Warehouse in Derby brand of football in the world.

Congratulations to Ant Reeves, Russ Bielby, Neil Keefe and Matt Waldron who make it through to the Semi-Finals of the Cup. They can just about smell the lacquered hard back of that Shoot Annual.

Week 32: Quarter-Final Build Up

Manager of the Week is Martyn Field whose Sheep City scored a massive 27 points.

And this week coming, don't forget, sees the quarter-finals of the OFFL Cup being played out.

Lined up to be...

Marauding Metatarsals '07 v TriumphAnt

|Gavin Ward| |Ant Reeves|

Abeerden v Livercoolio

|Steve Tierney| |Russell Bielby|

Big Mac's Mingmongs v Wonka FC

|Neil McConaghy| |Neil Keefe|

Waldron's Wanderers v Olymping Macdrid

|Matt Waldron| |Craig McHugh|

In other words that's

16th v 12th
2nd v 4th
1st v 3rd
5th v 24th

How exciting is this?

Week 31: Needles

The Chairman is face down dribbling onto the lino' again. The pins and needles have been replaced with just needles. Dr Yuetmui Chung's needles to be precise. With the recent passing of the 400 point mark by Neil McConaghy's Big Mac's Mingmongs, Our Holistic High Chairman has sort an even higher plane of well-being by trying out Dr Chung's Acupuncture credentials. Obviously this is a celebratory move aimed at commemorating McConaghy's achievement at such an early stage of the season.

Indeed the Champions Elect, as they look over their shoulder to see how well the competition is doing behind them, spy not even a chasing pack - which, as it happens, is sixty odd points behind a hill in the distance. The Mingmongs could even stop for a breather if they wanted, rest for a moment, handvisor their forehead to level their sight onto the horizon to just about make out the lone lanky figure of Steve Tierney, fist raised in the air, aimed and shaking at the runaway leader.

McConaghy could even afford to shrug his broad Welsh shoulders before continuing on trotting his seemingly unchallenged way to the Title.

There's no point carrying on really.

Acupuncture anyone?

Manager of the Week is Edinburgh's Rob Ivison whose Wife#3 netted 29 points and whose Son#1 burst into tears the very moment he caught sight of the Chairman at his front door in Morningside last week. 29 points, eh? That Frank Lampard doing most of the leg work as usual I suppose. Well done Frank. I mean Rob. Are we allowed to talk about the Astronomy business yet without spitting blood? Why not turn your hand to Astrology? Same business really isn’t it?

Cough.

Ooh, everyone... don’t forget, the OFFL Cup... Neil can't have this one in the bag too can he?

OFFL Cup

Quarter-Finals, Fixtures

To be played in Week 33

Marauding Metatarsals '07 Gavin Ward	v	TriumphAnt Ant Reeves
Abeerden Steve Tierney	v	Livercoolio Russ Bielby
Big Mac's Mingmongs Neil McConaghy	v	Wonka FC Neil Keefe
Waldron's Wanderers Matt Waldron	v	Olymping Macdrid Craig McHugh

At least we can rest assured that there will be a Neil in the next round.

Week 30: OFFL Quarter-Finals Fixtures

Manager of the Week is Hilary Straw. 34 points. Launches her team, Straw Bucharest, into the top ten.

And while Pompey have practically won the FA Cup already, we look at how far Neil McConaghy's Big Macs have to go before he claims the Double.

OFFL Cup

Marauding Metatarsals '07		v	TriumphAnt
Abeerden		v	Livercoolio
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v	Wonka FC
Waldron's Wanderers		v	Olymping Macdrid

Week 29: OFFL Cup Results

Not that life at the top of the OFFL table is getting stressful but there is definitely a distinct odour of desperation being distributed up there.

Inter Milandrover have rendered themselves spent far too prematurely again and Steve Tierney's Abeerden have just slapped the OFFL fetlocks with their last wad of transfers too. With the clock tick tocking its way through the weeks, there's not much room for error and a Mr McConaghy is already beginning to ask himself if he can do The Double. A feat only ever achieved once before. And that was by, yes, Steve Tierney, currently Mr McConaghy's closest rival [both pictured right].

Managers of the Week include the aged and decrepit Kate Wilson and the sensationally beautiful and sexy Mike Smears, irrespectively. Both managers steer their team to a healthy 19 points.

AND NOW..... [sponsored by Real-Sense]

The OFFL Cup

Waldron's Wanderers	15	v	2	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	3	v	16	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	16	v	-1	Lionel FC
Windmill United	6	v	7	Livercoolio
West Vam	8	v	9	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	9	v	3	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	10	v	12	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	6	v	9	TriumphAnt

And what a match we had on our hands with Bielby's Livercoolio only just pipping colleague Walsh's Windmill United by a point to go through to the Quarter-Finals of the OFFL Cup. Sweeter news still for Mr Bielby is that another colleague, and nemesis, Rick Beecroft has crashed out of the cup after losing by just 3 points to an enormous ground-dwelling insect with an oil leak.

[Do you see what I did there? Do you?]

Congratulations then, go to Matt Waldron, Gavin Ward, Neil McConaghy, Russ Bielby, Craig McHugh, Neil Keefe, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves.