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A scene from the controversial OFFL Christmas Party. The [dwarf] tossers were soon ejected. |
And a Happy New Year to you too. Yes, welcome back to Studmarks, to the OFFL Cup and yet another Christmas plumbing bill for the Chairman to chew on. Hence his bad mood. We've all been trying to steer clear of him this week.
What's that? Get on with it?
How dare you?
But I suppose you're right.
This year's OFFL Christmas Period has been quieter than most of those gone by meaning we, here at Studmarks and the OFFL HQ have been feeling a little flat. Even the Umpa Lumpa Office Christmas Party didn't go off with the usual fizz, bang and wallop - though the ejection of the gate-crashing dwarf-tossers delivered swift excitment - however short-lived.
And talking of dwarves [not tossers], Gavin Ward* fully deserves his
Manager of the Week certificate by dint of his awkwardly monikered Blet Satters Mad Hatters nibnabbing themselves 23 points. Congratulations, Sir.
But how did that help him in the OFFL Cup?
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*Not a dwarf either
OFFL Cup
Results, Group Stage
Bottom team of each group is knocked out.
Group A Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Inter Milandrover 54.2 35 7 42
Livercoolio 55.0 28 10 38
It's A Snickers 54.6 19 -4 15
Group B Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Blet Satters Mad Hatters 54.6 25 23 48
Malcolmyouplaysobadly 54.8 19 6 25
Real Mcdrid 54.8 15 2 17
Group C Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Irishpool 54.8 38 2 40
A Bit Temperamintal 55.0 29 0 29
RS-TBOY 52.2 19 6 25
Group D Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Pyeators 55.0 23 11 34
Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil 50.0 21 8 29
Which Team 55.0 21 -1 20
Group E Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Johnny's Heroes 54.0 33 11 44
Moanchester Disunited 52.1 26 -2 24
Didcot Rovers 55.0 10 0 10
Group F Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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The Flying Geese 54.2 30 2 32
Not In Your Mum's Forest 54.7 18 12 30
Neil's Diamonds 54.1 24 -2 22
Group G Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Couldn't be Hyppia 54.6 24 6 30
Botley Yellow 51.7 24 1 25
Awesome Athletic 50.2 13 6 19
Group H Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
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Moobchester United 51.7 23 17 40
Radnorshire Tigers 49.7 25 10 35
Pedro's Plodders 46.7 9 0 9
Commiserations go to Pete Braithwaite, Adrian Bradley, Neil McConaghy, Edgar Rayner, Rachel Jones, Rick Beecroft, Craig McHugh and Ashley Keeler. You're all useless and The OFFL Cup will NOT be shining its glorious silver-glare anywhere near your trophy cabinets this year. As far as the cup competition is concerned you're dead to us.
As far as the league is concerned though, you're all very much alive, kicking and welcome. In fact, here is the Manager of the Month standings for December. Not surprisingly, the Manager of the Month was Sarah Bielby. She scored a massive 83 points for the month.
Massive. Unlike her. Who is petite, slim and perfectly-sized.
And so say all of us.
Moving on.
Manager of the Month for December
Lge
Pos Value Dec
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2 Johnny's Heroes 54.0 83
5 Irishpool 54.8 72
17 It's A Snickers 54.6 67 out
8 Which Team 55.0 62 out
13 The Flying Geese 54.2 60
1 Livercoolio 55.0 60
3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly 54.8 58
6 Radnorshire Tigers 49.7 57
4 Blet Satters Mad Hatters 54.6 57
18 A Bit Temperamintal 55.0 56
14 Moanchester Disunited 52.1 55
22 Neil's Diamonds 54.1 53 out
19 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil 50.0 51
21 Didcot Rovers 55.0 50 out
9 Inter Milandrover 54.2 49
15 Couldn't be Hyppia 54.6 46
10 Not In Your Mum's Forest 54.7 46
20 Real Mcdrid 54.8 45 out
11 Botley Yellow 51.7 43
7 RS-TBOY 52.2 43 out
16 Moobchester United 51.7 39
12 Pyeators 55.0 39
23 Awesome Athletic 50.2 29 out
24 Pedro's Plodders 46.7 21 out
A noticeably bad month for RS-TBOY and Inter Milandrover you'll all be pleased to see, I'm sure. All except Rick Beecroft and Smasher of course.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Livercoolio Russ Bielby 55.0 10 211
2 Johnny's Heroes Sarah Bielby 54.0 11 207
3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly Malcolm Pratt 54.8 6 200
4 Blet Satters Mad Hatters Gavin Ward 54.6 23 187
5 Irishpool Mike Smears 54.8 2 187
6 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 49.7 10 184
7 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 52.2 6 182
8 Which Team Rachel Jones 55.0 -1 182
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.2 7 180
10 Not In Your Mum's Forest Sarah Bingham 54.7 12 179