Week 33: OFFL Semi-Finals Draw and Highest Weekly Score

With the League reaching a mean score of 300 points at last [no thanks to Greg Spencer's Heroes, of course], Russ Bielby's Livercoolio finally puts some distance between themselves and Bielby's office rival, Mr Beecroft. Both managers enjoy lurching past the 400 point mark and seem to be fighting it out between themselves for the most coveted OFFL title.

Manager of the Week this week, and in need of a bit of a fillip, is Upmintster United's Minty Colquhoun who managed a staggering, season record of 47 points. This lifts and separates her into sixth place [up six] in the league behind an exhausted chasing pack of Jukes, Dube and Smasher. Jukes, of course, is still technically in with a chance of the Double.

Yeah. Right.


OFFL Cup

Semi-Finals

Knievel United v Decimated Left Peg
Menarepigs Is Back v Sheep City

While Evel Knievel knew a thing or two about decimated left pegs in his time, surely the tie of the round is watching the animals slog it out. Now I like pigs. But I also like sheep. But which is better?

There's only one to find out...

[fixtures to be played in Week 36 - that's the week ending 18th April]

Week 32: OFFL Results

Manager of the Week is Sheep City's Martyn Field.  15 points.

Livercoolio and RS T-Boy now share the lead.


OFFL Results

Decimated Left Peg 14 v 5 RS T-Boy
Knievel United 12 v 7 Dube Stars
Sheep City 15 v 6 Arsenorm
Tesco Value FC 4 v 13 Menarepigs Is Back

Week 31: When will the Headlines End?

When will the headlines end?

RS T-Boy Wrestle Back Top Spot from Livercoolio.

Lounge CCTV Footage Proves Guy Harewood's Manager of the Week Winning Streak [of 30 points] Had Nothing To Do With Visit With Chairman. No Score Fiddling Committed While Chairman Dribbles Himself Asleep During Last Game on Match of the Day.

When Will Mat Tucker's Misery End?


Scooch Duo On The Coach in Channel Four's Coach Trip.


When Will Headlines End?

OFFL Cup
Quarter Finals,
To be played over this week. Week 32.

Decimated Left Peg v RS T-Boy
Knievel United v Dube Stars
Sheep City v Arsenorm
Tesco Value FC v Menarepigs Is Back

You know what's at stake.

Week 30: Jukes Chases

The Weekend's Stag, Neil Jukes, fails to make up any ground on this week's low-scoring tussle between RS T-Boy and Livercoolio at the top of the table.

Meanwhile Manager of the Week, Minty Colquhoun gets her Upmintster Utd's week's score into double figures [14pts] with only one other team [Must Murder Mojo Mainly] managing to do similar.

Highest climber is Danny Atkins whose Lovedean Academicals jump up three places into eighth. One more point to go in order to hit that 300pt landmark.

Danny used to play for Tottenham, don't you know. Had to give it up because of an inju... blah, blah, yeah, yeah we've heard it all before Gordon Ramsay, Eddie Large etc etc.

Don't forget OFFL Quarter Finalists, get your transfers in for Week 32 if you want them to help you get booted out of the competition in time.

Week 29: Derby derby

It's been a strange old week for the Real Sense boys up in Derby.

Firstly to note, and probably leastly, Lashings of Cheese's Chris Walsh has just popped a sprog, ably assisted by the club's Chief Executive, Val.

Which is nice.

For the grandparents.

From where Chris works: just past the coffee machine in the centre of the mouldy Ping Pong Table that is their hot desk, sits a child-free, sleep-happy, newly-wed called 'T-Boy' Rick who, having hogged the highest hole atop the league tree for the last few weeks, has recently been spending most of his time beaming round at his colleagues like a Special Child trying to work out how to open his mouth without choking on a Gloat.

However, the joy that belongs to both of these two OFFL managers is NOTHING compared with the joy currently whooping its way around Russ Bielby's throbbing chest. Yes, his Livercoolio has only gone and leapt into the lead at the head of the League table.

He's clearly a very proud man. As is his wife, Sarah John of Johnny's Heroes who has also just announced that she's pregnant. Yes, the father is Red Russ. Though we hear the baby will be Evertonian in colour.

There may be trouble ahead.

OFFL officials have been assured that attention to League matters will not suffer as a consequence of these shenanigans and the local water company is being investigated for allegedly adding 'something' to the water in the area.

In the meantime, hearty congratulations to all.

Neil McConaghy and Lionel Larking tear the Manager of the Week certificate down the middle in order to share the honours after both BM Mingmongs and Pompey Puss score a massive 33 points. Meanwhile Danny Atkins's Lovedean Academicals runs out of puff and drops four places.

It HAS been a funny old week.

---

If you want to import the World Cup fixture list into your personal calendar then please feel free to click here...

http://j.mp/WC2010cal

...call it a little present from the OFFL.

OFFL Cup
Quarter Finals,
To be played over Week 32.

Decimated Left Peg v RS T-Boy
Knievel United v Dube Stars
Sheep City v Arsenorm
Tesco Value FC v Menarepigs Is Back

Well, look at that. It's the clash of the Titans in Decimated Left Peg versus RS T-Boy. But will the OFFL Cup Prize be taken home by any of the other promising teams?

Matches to be played over Week 32.